Accepting Rejection

Who is rejecting whom?

Recently, I applied for a position which would have returned me to the "corporate world".  I made this decision as I thought it would facilitate my financial and personal goals.  My dream to study ayurveda yogic doctrine and become a certified yogini.  I had researched and found the place in which I wish to study, the teacher, and a tuition structure.  This study requires a commitment of time that can not be afforded within the parameters of my current part time employment.   Thus, I felt the need to return to what I know best, administrative work.  I know this work like the back of my hand.  I've not only performed the position, but I've supervised, managed, and even trained others on how to perform this work. So, I applied for a position I could easily do with my eyes closed.  In my arrogance, I did not want to work anywhere for anyone.  I selectively applied to organizations I thought would compliment and run concurrent with the personal dedication I made to be of a giving nature.  One such company contacted me and I interviewed with them a total of three times:  initially, a callback interview, and finally with a panel.  In each interview, I confidently told my truth, submitted my credentials, and tried to explain, in a manner I thought of as humble, that although I was overqualified, I could deliver the objectives of the position. I had eight references ready, and I was confident that I had secured the position.

One  Basket

Much to my surprise and utter shock, after receiving what I thought was good feedback, I did not get the position.  A position that was elementary to me.  I was devastated. Questions flooded my head.  Why?  Too old?  Too confident, Too intimidating? Not enough (fill in the blank)????

Remember - everything doesn't have to go into one basket
We always have several at our disposal.

I was not as concerned of not being accepted by strangers as I was concerned that my truth had been rejected.  When you stand vulnerable and honestly present your truth, your intention is for reception.  That's the only reason we do it in the first place.  It  is the very real fear of rejection that many of us never present nor face our truths.  I had also made another fatal mistake.  I had placed all of my future hopes and dreams into one basket.  No one thing brings us to any point or goal in life.  It is a myriad of variables aligning at a particular coordinate at a particular time that delivers us where we are at that time.   Why place everything into one basket when we have several at our disposal?

Why had something that seemed to be going so well suddenly crashed and burned?  Perhaps the interviewers were mirroring that which they saw before them:  rejection.  Perhaps the image I thought I was projecting was not what I was actually presenting.  Perhaps as I presented my truth to them, I wasn't listening or looking at myself.

"Ain't funny that the way you feel shows on your face?

And no matter how you try to hide, it'll state your case" © Earth Wind and Fire

Perhaps the panel could "see" the personal, internal rejection I was battling , trying to mask the decision to return to the very world I vowed to leave.  I was reluctantly and readily sacrificing a little bit of freedom in lieu of the big picture. I had dressed for the part wearing clothing and shoes I hadn't worn in years - clothing which no longer fit both physically and mentally.  Perhaps my body had rejected the business attire the same way my mind was rejecting the back and forth game of the interview process of trying to give the "right" answer in the right manner, the same way my soul was rejecting the idea of fitting back into the box I so loved to think outside of.  Perhaps the struggle and rejection was so evident that the panel had no other choice but to reject me in lieu of another candidate who deserved to be there.

Not quite ready to accept this truth, I submitted my resume to a "professional reviewer" for a critique.  The main point he claimed was wrong with my resume was that it screams that I am a "doer" not an "achiever".  Hmmm, this puzzled me.  Yes, I am a doer.  I get things done, I've made things happen which has lead to a previously successfully career.  I've achieved and accomplished quite a few awards, commendations, and recognition.  For a fee, the reviewer could elaborate this for me.  NOT!  I looked up the free definition for myself:

do:  to perform, execute or produce; to achieve

achieve:  to perform or carry out with success, accomplish

The slight semantics here could have been what lead to my rejection.  Achievement comes natural to me which is why I don't think about "doing".  To me, it is one and the same.  I now realize that to others, there is a big difference.  I don't think I want to expend that much energy into worrying about it. It is no longer who I am.  So, as I look into my mirror to recognize this rejection,  I  accept it.   I am listening to what is being said and looking at what I am being shown. I can not return to that world in the same manner I left it.  I have evolved.  I am rejecting it.

"Opportunities surround you if you know where to look" - Chinese proverb

I had prematurely and mistakently placed my yogic goal into a basket that I did not own. The lesson here is that there is more than one way to reach a destination.  You just have to know where to look.  This job will not be the vehicle which will take me where I wish to go.  I accept this rejection.  I am not revising my resume to highlight achievement over doing.  I shall instead, place it into its own basket labeled Employment.  There will be another opportunity in which the truth I tell and the truth I exhibit will align.  The learning is knowing the correct audience in which to reveal.  True alignment will always bring success.   It is important to stay on the path. I will study ayurveda yogic doctrine but it will arrive in a manner different from what I once knew.

Rain Water

You may ask what does this have to do with yoga. veganism, and transformation? Everything. The conversion to veganism is certainly filled with rejection but it doesn't matter what you apply it to.  Rejection of any thing you present, whether it be transforming lifestyle, changing diet, relationship, or employment, still feels the same. It is up to you to face it, understand it, do something about it, to seek new opportunity and to accomplish.

Use the rain collected in the vessel to
cleanse and begin life anew.

With this in mind, I have decided  to take out a few additional baskets in which to place a few other things:  one for Yoga, one for Vegan Adventures, one for Aspirations, and a special vessel to collect the rain that falls when we feel rejection.  Accept this vessel.  Use the rain water collected to refresh, rejuvenate and revive. Rain is water;  water which cleanses and is the key of life.  As you accept your rejection, learn from it.  Look in the mirror and be clear about that which you also reject, place each thing in its proper basket. Don't limit yourself, use as many baskets as you need to avoid the mistake of putting too many things in one basket or mixing inconsistent items.  Accept the rain and use the vessel to begin life anew.

Yoga -  Chant:  Guru Guru Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru

Click Here to Listen "Guru Ram Das" by Snatam Kaur

In preparation for opportunity yet to come, this Mantra, meant to initiate the healing process, is appropriate for beginning anew after accepting rejection.  The chanting of Guru Guru Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru

 is also a source of protection, spiritual light, guidance, and humility.

In gratitude, 
Namaste. 

Smart to Start

Don't be afraid to start.
Just do it.  Take the plunge.

I recently spoke with a young friend who gleefully informed me that she is just five classes away from receiving her bachelor's degree.  "Wow!", I exclaimed for it was just a little over two years that she, armed with an AAS, decided to return to school to complete her undergraduate education.  As she realizes it didn't take as long as she thought it would, she is already looking forward and planing to enroll in an MBA (master's) program.  She did not focus on the time nor the task, she just began.  Many of us tend to do just the opposite, especially when the objective is personal.  We loose our opportunity to begin by letting cold feet hinder us.  Stop.  Just do it.  Don't overthink it.  We make up artificial deadlines as a false reason not to begin, "I'll join the gym after I purchase new work-out clothing" ,  "I'll  stop smoking or begin my new diet when (fill in the blank with your favorite excuse)".  My friend was smart to start, unafraid to take the plunge.  Once you begin, you too, will find that time quickly passes by and before you know it, you will have accomplished a task, completed an objective, or reached a milestone.

It doesn't matter the goal, it's the act of doing that is the most empowering.  You don't have to have all of the tools or full knowledge to get started.  Sometimes, the lesson is learned along the way, and growth comes as you slowly build upon an already established foundation.

Start to Smart

Once you begin, use your time to learn as you go.  Recently, shortly before his 30th birthday, another friend of mine started reflecting upon his life up to that point and was ready to make a few changes.  He announced he was going to stop consuming meat, cold turkey (pun intended).  I cautioned him to gradually start as I was concerned he would not be able to maintain.  Gratefully, this wonderful man did not listen to me,  he was empowered by his knowledge of his personal strength and ability to succeed.  He just did it, eager to learn as he goes.  He took the plunge, became a vegetarian, and started to increase his education levels.  I am tearfully, so very proud of him as he has through discomfort and purging of bodily toxins, been steadfast for one month now.  He has even stopped smoking and has reduced his alcohol intake. He has begun his smart journey, learning how to become an SME.  In the corporate world, an SME is a "Subject Matter Expert".  You do not have to know all or be all.  A college degree prepares you to be just that.  In layman's terms, a degree is a level of measurement of some "thing".  Upon starting any post-secondary educational program, you are asked to declare a major, or a course of study with emphasis on a singular subject.  You then spend your time to increase the level of knowledge on the subject you chose.  You continue to learn and work to become an expert in that subject.   It is no different with personal objectives. At the beginning, you have limited data and resources.  However, as you spend more time, learning and increasing the degree of knowledge of the particular subject, the smarter you become, the more you evolve into an SME.

I'm learning!  Completed Project -
Raw Tabbouleh with sprouted Quinoa,
Raw hummus and Sunflower seed cheese

The personal start to smart process is the same as the collegiate one.  You study, research, practice and cavort with  like associates.  You do not always realize when levels have increased.  It is only when you are quizzed, tested, or challenged by others that you demonstrate how well you have studied.  You will eagerly and confidently answer or defend that which you know and take note to improve or increase that which you do not.  You will triumphantly take pride when you have graduated from one level and will take stock to assess whether you wish to take a break, docking for a moment or to continue your education toward an advanced degree.

It has been just 298 days since I decided to become seriously vegan and only six months since I transitioned to become a live foodist.   With very limited information, I just started.  I'm learning! I am sprouting grains and beans, making cheeses from nuts and seeds, and converting my favorite cooked dishes into tasty raw versions.  During this inaugural, freshman year, I am steadily increasing knowledge levels and am taking on assignments, completing projects, writing papers, and passing exams.  It has been a wonderful experience learning proper nutrition, healthy habits, clean living and holistic values.

What about you?  What will you start today? What is the matter of subject you choose to expert?  Be smart to start in order to start to be smart.  Just do it.  Before you know it, time will quickly pass and you will soon find yourself ready to pursue a master's program.


Yoga:  Yogacharya (male)    Yogini  (female)  Teacher

Yogacharya or Yogini is a title of respect given to a teacher or master practitioner of yoga.  Whether a new beginner or graduated student, the yogic instructor is the adviser, helping to reveal the true value of yoga which is self reception and union of consciousness.

No matter the class size, the Yogic instructor connects
with each student individually.

The yogic slowly, with love, patience, and guidance, takes the student from one level to the next degree, teaching value, purpose, peace.  A true yogic instructor empowers each student individually, teaching union and alignment of mind, body, and breath (soul) mentoring to increase knowledge, strength and practice.  


The Yogacharya or Yogini helps students loose fear of starting to become an expert in the matter of acceptance of self.

Quiet Giants

Last week, a newly published book launched, hit the ground running, and is already an international bestseller.  Wow!  What's it about you ask, action-packed espionage? steamy love story? or perhaps a scary chilling gothic horror?  No.  The book is entitled, Welcome to Your Life by Ronny K. Prasad*.  What makes the book so great?  I don't yet know as I've yet to read it.  What I do know, however, is that is about self-fulfillment, empowerment and that the proceeds from the book will be contributed to an animal charity.  Right up my alley.  I also know that Ronny, or "Ron"  is one of the kindest souls I have had the pleasure to meet.

I am an extrovert.  I easily walk up to a stranger and introduce myself or make acquaintances. I have been told that this makes it easy to lead by example, start new things, champion a cause.  I was also told that not everyone can just get up on the soapbox and encourage people to follow their stead.  I was told that everyone can not be "like" me.  Wow.  I didn't know whether to be impressed or insulted.  First, because I do not have an expectation of others to be "like" me.  I feel my purpose is to share and to receive the sharing of others. Example is only for those who walk a similar path.  You can not be an example for someone who isn't interested.  Secondly, I totally disagree with the statement.  While we are all different, it doesn't matter the level, degree or manner of message delivery.  EVERYONE has "something" that they are passionate about.  Just because someone is introverted, what some may call shy,  not readily "volunteering" of information, or just simply quiet in demeanor, does not mean that they do not have anything to say or lack the ability to do so.  If so called extroverted people take the time to be attentive with genuine interest, a surprise may be in store from what may be learned from one who is not as outspoken.

A volcanic mountain sits silently until it has something to say.

Some of the most powerful people do not speak at all.  They just "do" and allow you to take what you will from what you observe.  In the animal world, the elephant is a quiet giant.  It is considered a compassionate, wise and powerful animal.  Elephants go about silently but are fierce, strong, loud and swift if need be.  The quiet human giants of the world tend to move mountains, foster invention, and have put their ideas in motion - doing what they intend to do instead of shouting it out.  Ron impressed me as one such man.  Although he is in public, and constantly in front of people, he has a mild-mannered demeanor and is quite a gentleman.  I'll  never picture him as the raucous life of the party volunteering unsolicited information.  Yet, Ron is as powerful as they come. He is a wise observer,  passionate about his work and becomes quite animated when asked.  Ron is a powerhouse.  He is  vegan, a certified lifecoach, mentor, speaker, animal activist, author and motivator.  With humility, he offers inspirational, positive, considerate messages and is dedicated to spreading self-empowerment internationally.  Well done, since Ron hails from Australia, many like myself, here in the United States, are proud to call him a friend.  A quiet giant is like a volcanic mountain, sitting silently until it has something to share and then roars with force to be reckoned.

It is often said that "you get more with honey than with vinegar".  How true.  A quiet giant does this well for they have mastered the art of being attentive to the needs of their audience and knows how to deliver a powerful, even forceful message without hate, intimidation, or fear. The loud, boisterous one often interlaces subliminal threats or fear into their messages.  The quiet giant gently and humbly presents their platform without persuasion.  Either take it or leave it.   As you think about it, you realize that you've been surrounded by giants your entire life.  As you meet one, you find another.  Two giants are Danelle and Angela. I've known Danelle over 35 years. She too, is one of my dearest friends.  I've just met Angela a little over a year and half ago through Danelle.  Danelle and Angela are kindred spirits who touch many through their inspiration and dedication to yoga.   It is through the syrupy sweetness of their honey that I am certain they have lead to the practice of many and inspired the courage to live.  Each of these ladies have overcome personal illness, tragedy and detrimental injury.  Both  Danelle* and  Angela*  survive, each spreading positive energy with a polite, humble quiet.  Just over two years ago, Angela was involved in a tragic car accident which left her severely wounded.  Through yoga, she healed.  Instead of broadcasting, she practiced and studied.  Better to do instead of speak.  Today, she is a certified instructor, has opened a small studio and begun to conduct yoga classes.  Danelle, was diagnosed with illness. She too, through practice is experiencing healing.  She quietly has touched souls through her self-less practice and has inspired a humble quietness amongst many in the yogic world who may be considered "outspoken".  Without intention, these ladies have inspired my yoga practice.  I am certain they have inspired countless others.  It is their quiet approach which attracts so many to them.  It makes them colossus. 

Close your mouth and look up!  You may discover
the beauty of the giants whom loom above you.

Giants do not have to be people you know.  They can be strangers, people you notice in your day to day happenings, or read about.  If you are extroverted like me, close your mouth for a moment and look around - more importantly,  look up! You may find yourself surrounded by towering silent entities each with something to teach you.  To you who are the quiet ones, those who are not so voluntarily ready to speak, continue in your stead to be who you are! Welcome to Your Life.  You may be surprised to know that someone may be looking up you in awe, in appreciation of your goliath gift, and readily listening to your message.

* select this link for: Danelle's Story

* select this link for: Angela's Story

* select this link for: Ron's Quick Facts

Yoga:  Elephant trunk pose - Eka Hasta Bhujasana

My friend Angela...
A quiet giant demonstrating Elephant Trunk Pose.

In Hinduism, Ganesha, the elephant god, is the Lord of Success, the conquerer of evil, the god of wisdom and knowledge. Ganesha gained power by quietly walking to win a race instead of a loud, fast moment. 


The Elephant trunk pose is poignant and beautiful.  It captures the quiet of the moment and demonstrates the incredible, titan, personal strength required for this advanced yoga pose.


Namaste.

Walking the Talk

When I started this journey, I had no idea that the personal steps taken would lead to a public walk.  I also didn't realize that I would become an example of change.  It is often said that people do not like change.  Not so.  It is the "fear of the unknown" aspect of change that people do not like.  When presented with an example of change, the very same people may form an opinion different from one  formed  without an example.  People will often visualize how something will effect them when they do not have a way to "see" a result.  We humans love to "fill in the blanks".  A physical, tangible walking example ends speculation about change. When people can see, touch, and feel how a positive change can be brought forth, they become curious and are apt to try it for themselves.   Each of us possess the ability to be an example of something for someone.  Most of us never know who is watching our gait nor do we realize the impact we are making. When you recognize that you, solicited or not, have become an example for others, you must act accordingly and accept the responsibility that comes with it.  If you are blessed with both the knowledge and the opportunity to lead by example, use it!

Be Contagious

A walking advertisement

As stated, I started out on a personal walk of faith.  Faith in success, support, and transformation.  I decided to advertise.  I ordered a Vegan OM t-shirt from a vegan friend who is also graphic-artist/designer.  I love this shirt.  It exemplifies who and what I am.  It sparks inquiries.  If asked, I am sure to tell my truth.   I had begun to "talk", sharing my story with strangers.   When you start talking, you must back up your words, you must walk.  If the talk is truth, the walk is easy.  If your words lie, then a bumpy road lies ahead.

My husband always says "you never know how you look to others until they tell you".  What I failed to realize is how my walk has begun to influenced the steps of others close to me who are on a walk of their own.  As I receive coaching, counseling and guidance, I am being sought to give of the same:

•   My brother-in-law, the 18yr old gentlemen, a friend on the verge of his 30th birthday, and my son have each expressed their desire to become a vegetarian and have made steps in that direction.

• My husband is content with his consumption of meat but has increased his vegetable intake by 80%, even sampling my dishes

While I can not take full responsibility for the personal choice of these individuals to effect change in their lives, I accept that my example serves as a contagious burst toward a new alternative.  My new loquaciousness has led to a call to action, to spread this positive contagion further.  So far, so good - in the nine short months since seriously committing to this lifestyle,  I have guest written an article for a wellness website, written a testimony for an e-book, been featured in a vegan cookbook, served as a yoga ambassador for a wellness event, and have been asked to become an employee wellness champion for a retailer.  It is a continuous cycle.  The more you reach out, the more reach out to you.  Since my son lives with me, it is easy to reach out to him.  His favorite Asian inspired dish is General Tso's Chicken.  It is a sweet and spicy chicken dish served with fried rice and broccoli.  I made this vegan version for my husband and son. They both admitted it rivaled the meat version. Although not a proponent of faux meat, I accept that it helps the transition from a meat to a plant based diet go a little smoother.

Spreading contagion: Stir-fried
Vegan version of a favorite Asian-inspired dish

Vegan Gung Pao 

Seitan, Green Onion

Garlic, Ginger

Dried red chili peppers (seeds removed), Sea salt,

Agave nectar, Sesame Oil

Brown rice, Broccoli

Bragg's Amino Acid

Steam brown rice, set aside. Dice garlic, ginger, onion.   Heat sesame oil in pan or wok.  Add diced ingredients, chili peppers, broccoli. Add seitan, agave nectar & sea salt to taste.  Place stir fry over bed of rice.  Top with amino acid.

More than Just Food!

When you decide to place your ideas in motion, you can apply it to anything.  It's about more than just food!  A friend who blogs about a "blissful, eco-friendly life", just sold all of her belongings and is moving her family to another state to build an eco-friendly house on an organic farm.  She has begun to live her words!  She has decided what a better way  to "show" a blissful life instead of just "telling" how blissful life can be.   When things do not go well, most people are quick to report it, talk about, or complain about it.  They are not however, so quick when to "tell"  when things are great.  They hoard the good thing to themselves, only volunteering when asked or prompted.  It's a little selfish and we all are guilty.  We like to keep our goodies close to our hearts.  Oddly, while you would think keeping it close will prolongs it's life, it doesn't, for nothing lasts forever.  It is better to spread your good thing amongst many to ensure it's life, your legacy, and the life of those you've touched.  Go, tell your story,  put action into your words. Share your goodness.  Whether it is cooking a new version of an old favorite, offering a few pointers on how to do or "be", building a farmhouse, or simply wearing a t-shirt, become an example of  some "thing" for some "one".

"Each one, teach one" ~African Proverb

Yoga:  Setting Intention

The beginning of each yoga practice begins with an intention. An intention is not a goal.  A goal is a future-based objective.  An intention is "present-based".   Intentions are values which establish clarity for your practice. 


According to abellayoga.com, intentions can be as simple as a word: "breathe", "relax", a statement, "I am happy with who I am", or a dedication to someone you wish send positive energy. The purpose of an intention is to focus on where you are at the present time and what you plan to do right now. 


Setting intention is a personal, current-state, grounding alignment of mind and body.  As the mind, "talks", the intention prepares the body for the "walk". 


Namaste.

Servant Leadership

I first heard this oxymoronic term in my corporate life about fifteen years ago.  As a member of my firm's executive staff, I was required as so were my colleagues, to take some form of annual training. Each year, it was something we all dreaded.  Our CEO however, an excellent strategic planner, had arranged for each of us to take the same course together maximizing the effectiveness of the training with minimal time away from the office.  The course was aptly titled "Servant Leadership".  Everyone in that room, myself included, were responsible for managing a major division.  We were "important", we were "leaders".   

The instructor began by asking us to look around the room and to single out our business nemesis, the one colleague that got under our skin.  That was easy.  As seniors, we were all extremely territorial and competitive.  There were definitely a few rivalries each vying for the favor of the CEO.   The instructor asked us to write down five work-related things we disliked about the person we selected.  We had ten minutes to do so.  Easy.  I jotted down seven things in two minutes.  Then the instructor did something interesting...he gave us ten more minutes and asked us to write down five work-related things we "liked" about the same person.  hmm.  Not so easy.  I managed to jot down just two things before the time ran out.  Everyone in the room had the same experience.  The instructor told us that our egos had lead us to feel superior and competitive , that we felt we could display negativity and judgment regarding someone's else work.   We had each objectified the people we had selected, failing to see their humanity. This same ego prohibited us from possessing the humility needed to acknowledge the goodness in our colleagues' work; that just as easily as we selected someone to "dislike", someone else had most probably easily selected us also.

Humility

The point of the exercise was to learn how to "see" people and how to be humble.  The instructor told us that "you can't lead unless you know how to serve".  How profound.   When you quiet your pride, you open your heart and your hands to humility and servitude.  Our CEO got it!  By serving the needs of her egotistical staff, she had broken barriers which resulted in a more cohesive, successful organization.  She saw that she could not lead the organization forward if the senior staff did not get along.  Under the auspices of "mandatory training", it was brilliant leadership.

Prepare to serve.  Humble yourself.

  I've never forgotten this lesson and was grateful to receive it early in my career as I used it to "pay it forward" and I learned to serve my staff as I led them.  I never thought this concept could be used outside of my corporate world.  More and more, I am finding that the more I humble myself to service the needs of others, the more I find myself in a position of leadership as opportunities to teach, coach, direct, guide and share continue to present themselves.

The vegan and yogic community is a "pay it forward" world.  As someone helps you, you help someone else, who in turn helps yet another.  You can only give and receive help if you are humble enough to admit that you need help, and are grateful when you receive it.  It is a positive cycle.  Thus, serving and leading are one and the same, a strong servant also leads and directs the manner in which those they serve shall go.

Hands-On

I've had the pleasure of meeting Jen McGown.  Jen is the humble leader of One Yoga Philly yoga studio and is also the founder of the, Yoga on the Parkway, which fulfills her dream of serving the citizens of her city.  It is an event that promotes health and wellness.  It is the ultimate example of paying it forward.

I am certain that those who attend or lend a helping hand will be touched in some manner and will reach out to someone else.  No ego's here.  I am most impressed with Jen because she has used her hands to create this event first to those she served, and then led, folks whose hands now work in her stead spreading a positive message with infectious enthusiasm.  She so eloquently  wrote about it a very moving blog entry in which she shares her gratitude.  What touched me about this entry is that it reminded me of the training I mentioned earlier.  Jen, like the instructor, had removed the objectivity out of leadership and made it real, made it "human".

As I wrote to her in response to this post, I stated that it all begins with the hands.  Hands are tangible and hold your truth.    Using your hands to effect change shall be returned in abundance. How you use them will either condemn you or reward you. Why not use them positively?

King or King Maker

Ask yourself.  Who is more powerful, the King or the King Maker?  A wise man will tell you it isn't the king.  It is the servant, the king maker.  If the king is powerful, how powerful is he who makes the king?  The servant is the person behind the scenes "making it happen".  If you are the king:

• be sure to serve the king maker and your reign shall be long and prosperous for the king maker shall lend their hand to help you serve the people

• remember to pay it forward by mentoring and becoming the maker of future kings

Think of those you consider great leaders albeit personal, historical, or famous.  What did they have in common? What made them great?  Can you recognize their servitude and humility?  If you can not, then you have not identified a true leader.  You have mistakenly identified a dictator, one who abuses power, one who lets their egos take over, one who consumes and uses their hands to break instead of build.

We are all born with the capability to become leaders.  How we choose to develop our inner leader is determined by our actions:

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"~Gandhi 

Identify your leadership.    Look, see, attend.  Focus on five good things in a person instead of five that aren't. Define your servitude.  Embrace your humility. 

Namaste. 

Yoga:  Mudras (Healing Hand Movement)

When you think of serving, you usually start with your hands.  In yoga, the hands play an important role in practice.  Hands are used to perform mudras. Mudras begin with the hands but can encompass the entire body.  People use mudras without even realizing it as hands in prayer position is a common mudra used in several religions.

Guyan Mudra
Stimulates knowledge, ability, receptiveness and calm.

According to Kundalini Yoga.org, "a mudra is a gesture or position of the hands that locks and guides energy flow and reflexes to the brain.  By curling, crossing, stretching, and touching the fingers and hands, we can talk to the body and mind as each of the area of the hand reflexes to a certain part of the mind or body."  In Buddhism, a mudra is the beginning of cleansing on the path to enlightenment.

A mudra prepares the mind and the body for service and for leadership.

The Brick Wall

Day 230 - Facing the brick wall.   After a strong run, the brick wall has found me... Somewhat.  No, I haven't fallen off the vegan bandwagon and with enthusiastic strength, I am confident I shall remain vegan for the rest of my days.   I am however, human with human emotions, feelings, and actions.  My number one challenge has always been comfort eating.  I used food as a cushion to soften blows of hurt.  I would just treat myself to some decadent “thing” and gorge.  It was the one thing I could control at times when I was not able to control that which hindered me.  I was so swept up in my new vegan world that when I opened my eyes and ears to my former world, I received a heartfelt blow that caused me to revert to old ways..to seek comfort in the very foods I had to get away from.  I ran head first into that wall and gave up eating raw for about a week.  I stopped sharing with my vegan friends, and just ate things not good for me:  white potatoes, breads, beans, rice, pastas, peanut butter.  All the while, I was able to give advice to others, I did not seek any for myself.  I let the brick wall crush me. 

Poisonous words - another set of bricks

You may ask, after all this time, what happened?  I realize now that the wall had been slowly building a brick at time.   It’s no secret that over the past seven months, I have experienced a great amount of weight loss.  I don’t know how much because I refused to be a slave to a scale as the objective of this journey was not about losing weight.  Never considered “obese”, my last check-up two years ago revealed that , I was at the top of my weight range for my height.  At 5’9”, my weight was always distributed evenly and people always thought of me as slender.  Despite this, I easily fit double-digit sized clothing.  As I mentioned in, "Sad vs Glad", the purpose of this shift is to improve the quality of life, to avoid "death by diet".  If a little weight loss due to purging of animal products occurred, then so be it. 

Unfortunately, all do not see this as I do.  Now that I wear single-digit clothing, people who physically “see” me (family, friends, associates)  have begun to make remarks about my weight loss and it feels negative.   Some consider this a “hobby” and fear I am becoming obsessed, some have called me puny, skinny, a few have poked me or placed their hands around my arms or legs as if to “measure” how small I have become.  No one notices or mentions that I am strong as an ox, that I have energy, that I am… happy.  As my body transitions, and as I learn, I realize that I must continue to build muscle and healthy tissue.  But, alas, no one sees the finish line as I do.   Outside of my vegan world, in my physical world, all I seem to hear is remarks about the juices  and the raw dishes and “I don’t know how you eat that stuff”.

Bunk the “stick and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt” adage.  Words do hurt and we must be mindful of them for each word becomes another brick in the walls we build for ourselves or others.

Soulmates and Sledgehammers

 I paid the price of my week of eating badly.  Lethargy, skin breakouts, no desire to work out, and depression.   I kept it to myself.  With a big sigh, I slowly started over and decided to do what was right for me not other people.  Funny thing happens when you hit the brick wall, most of those who drove you to it don’t even realize their part in helping to create it and that you are carrying your bricks "around your neck like an albatross* (from the poem “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”©1798,Samuel Taylor Coleridge) .  In the poem, an old mariner is forced to see, deal, and profess his indiscretion.   It is only after he confesses, that he is given a chance of hope.  This same rang true for me.  On my own, I confided that I had not eaten well and that I would start anew by completing a detoxifying 5-day juice fast. 

Soulmates are the sledgehammer
needed to break down walls.

On day three of the fast, a friend from the other side of the world, Jo Hazelhurst, spoke of similar food experiences, unbeknownst of my own transgression.  Speechless, I realized just at that moment, we were soulmates.  I was at the same place in the same time as she.  This isn’t the first time we’ve been parallel.  In, "Breaking Fast", I mentioned that she was “Vegan Girl goes Yoga”.  We use the same quote by Gandhi as our personal motto, and we’re both on the path of raw living,  positive coaching, to give more than we receive, to practice yoga, to live peacefully.    While words that hurt build brick walls, the strength of soulmates become the sledgehammer needed to break them down.  I realize that no matter what, I really am not alone.  My physical world is only one aspect of many.  I learned not to be afraid to reveal my wall, my vulnerabilities, and to ask for help.

Trying Again  (if at first you don’t succeed)

Kale, snow peas, squash, tomato, granny smith apple, sprouted raw beans
Topped with nutritional yeast and a splash of Bragg's amino acid

I know what I had to do, I had to pick myself up, dust off and try again.  I looked to the foods that were successful and realized that I have learned a lot from beans.  I learned take it slow and to practice patience. Now, I have learned to try again. A month or so ago, I attempted to sprout raw garbanzo beans with dismal results.  After a great start, they decayed and went foul.  I walked away from it.  Two weeks ago, I tried again with fantastic results.  The beans were delicious and I made this salad with them.

The lesson here is that like me, sometimes, you too will soar, but “sometimes you won’t...sadly, it’s true that Bang-Ups and Hang-Ups can happen to you... when you’re in a slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done…yet, somehow, you will escape..” (from the book: Oh the Places You’ll GO” ©1990 Dr. Suess aka Theodore Geisel)  

So, discover a new way to comfort yourself:  find a soulmate,  grab a sledgehammer, break down your wall, and try again.

Yoga: Tadasana -  Mountain Pose

The starting pose in most yoga practice.  The purpose of mountain pose is to strengthen or improve posture, to signify that is time to begin.  You can stand in mountain pose in meditation, as long as you need to.  According to The Expanding Light, the mountain pose “has a very special purpose, it sets the tone for all that will follow.  It is the neutral pose between other poses.”  

For me, it signifies deep cleansing breath, standing still, on strong feet, in alignment, releasing all prior negativity, ready to try again, ready to begin anew. 

Letting Go

I just read a powerful  blog entry by my dear friend Susan. In it, she talks about her son's deployment and dealing with change that was not self-initiated.  She talks about letting go and transitioning into a new situation.  The article was very profound for me as I also saw her article as grounding.  It is hard to let go when uncertain that there is solid footing upon which to land.  Her experience is no different from my vegan one or from any adjustment you may be occurring.  The commonality is that when faced with any form of change whether warranted or unwarranted, it is up to each of us to recognize, as she puts it, the "curve balls which force us into the best possible opportunities" or as I like to say, "a chance to grow strong feet".

There are several things we can not change.  There are several surprises thrust upon us that we do not like.  There are several decisions we are forced to make.  What is your coping mechanism? How you do handle change -  Do you dig down deep accept change, or do you fight it?  Whether you do anything or not, change will still occur.  How you handle it, is up to you.

 "If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice".  
from the song "Freewill" ©1980, Rush

So make the choice!  It is better to look at yourself and how you handle changes.  Become grounded in who and what you are.  This will equip you to handle anticipated change and those unexpectedly thrust upon you.

Letting go as in above, means acceptance of the departure of a loved one.  Sometimes it means letting go of a way of doing things, and other times, it means letting go of those you need to say goodbye to. We are a selfish society.  When we love something, we think of our personal gratification and tend to hold on to it dearly.  In any relationship, albeit parent:child, friend:friend; partner:partner, caregiver:recipient, or spouse:spouse, many of us have probably heard that  "if you truly love someone, you have to find the strength to let them go".   In these situations, we muster the strength to express our love and do just that - let go.  But let's look at this more intimately - how you have ever applied this to your very being?   Do you love yourself enough to let go, to accept an opportunity for personal growth?  Every chance to change is a chance to exhibit the strength of your grounding and chance to experience progression.

Growth

Getting back to Susan.  My friend had to release her loved one, something no one wants to do.  Her love for him, however gave her the strength to liberate him, to accept the change in her life. A funny thing happens when you let go of your own personal desire and place the love of others first - you grow stronger.  This deep-core strength is courage exemplified.  Don't waste it.  Use it to challenge an internal growth and try something new.When you think about it, as you let go of one thing, innate habit naturally forces you to grasp another.  No one floats idly or aimlessly.  We all hold on to some "thing" at different intervals in our lives. As Susan musters the courage to let her son "grow", she also has let go, opening up and providing space for a growth of her own.  She has begun to use her new found courage to do something she always wanted to do:  complete a triathlon.  Growth doesn't have to be large on a global scale for growth is personal.  It can also be a small thing.

Handstands and Cheese

While I've experienced deep growth as a diligent worker towards personal alignment (Beaconing Light), I appreciate the small growth spurt increments along the way.  Prior to Yoga, I suffered from vertigo - an equilibrium imbalance.  Attacks would come and go unannounced.  It's an incapacitating and terrible condition of nausea, dizziness, and headache.  Since I started practicing, I have not experienced a single episode, however, the fear of falling or seriously injuring myself linger and haunt.  For that reason, I mentally shied away from poses that challenge this very thing.  In my comfort zone, I stayed in poses close to the ground.  My coach then challenges me to do a handstand.  I meditated, deciding to love my self enough to release my fear, to accept that I am changing and to become grounded in my growth.  I found the courage to try it. With a little help of the wall behind me, I accomplished this feat.  Sure, I'll need more practice to strengthen my hold, but the realization of being grounded by my hands instead of my feet is the true reward.  It is demonstrative of change.

Now for the cheese...prior to becoming vegan, cheese was the one thing I thought I enjoyed.  I knew it was not good for me but I ate it not caring for the lethargy that accompanied it.  I thought cheese and fermentation was a complex thing.  After transition, I did not like the  "vegan cheese alternatives".  Many contained animal by-products like casein and most of them are commercially processed.  In my new, raw, live-food world - cheese does not exist, or so I thought.  Live foodists eat cheeses made from nuts or seeds.  I decided to try to manufacture my own.  I felt grounded and secure enough in my new "non-cooking" to let go of previous notions.  I purchased some raw sunflowers seeds and "went for it":

Sunflower Seed Cheese

Raw sunflower seeds * nutritional yeast * garlic * sea salt

Soak sunflower seeds overnight, drain.  In a blender or food processor, grind drained seeds until smooth, add yeast, garlic and sea salt to taste.  Place mixture in a cheese cloth, 

squeeze out excess liquid, form into a ball.

It's a small and simple thing this cheese but it represents forward movement, education, and growth.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Everything.  True love of others allows you to let them go to discover and experience growth of their own.   True non-narcissistic "love of self" allows you to:

• find the strength and courage to try new things
• see yourself clearly and where you wish to go
• accept opportunity to improve and change
• establish challenge goals and use ability to achieve them

Define your loves, release, and discover your growth opportunities.  Use the strength of your new found courage to move forward, to change, to complete a triathlon, grow strong feet & hands, or just simply find a new way to make cheese.

Yoga:  Virabhadrasana II - Warrior 2

Named for the ancient warrior, Virabhadra, who, when called into battle, is overcome with fear.  The teachings of yoga "liberate" him, allowing him to let go, act with fierce courage and unwavering focus.

Warrior 2 is an anchored, grounded posture.  It is acknowledgement of past, letting go of trepidation, placing weight on feet with forward focus and movement, strong...ready for choice, ready for challenge, ready for change.