Unmasking

Last week I posed for my first professional photo shoot.  In anticipation of the event, I purchased a make-up foundation for my face.  It is a cosmetic that conceals imperfection and evens complexion tone.  It is artificial. I was quite familiar with this application as I used to wear it daily.  It is called foundation as it is the base upon which additional makeup is added.  The night before my shoot, I put on a "full face" makeup with all of the cosmetics usually applied for "the camera".  As a former modeling student, I was taught how to "properly" apply the products on my face.  When I looked in the mirror at the "finished look", I no longer saw myself.   Instead, I saw the mask I had created.  It was an epiphany.  It was not me.  I had changed. The makeup mask no longer represented a look of beauty.  For the past two years, I have been walking this personal journey of truth seeking and could not find any truth in the caricature that stared back at me.  Although I immediately wanted to remove it, I decided to leave it on for a little while thinking I needed  re-acclimate myself with it only to discover that the longer I left it on, the more unnatural it became.  This mock face no longer defined my look....I had changed my definition of beauty.  It was time to remove the mask.  It seemed to take longer to remove than it was to put on.   As soon as I washed my face, I felt liberated, refreshed, and "clean".  At that point, I decided that I would shoot the photo session au naturale, in my truth with a clean scrubbed face.  This exercise led me to ponder what else in my life have I covered with old thoughts and old methods.  What else needed unmasking?

Fears and Facades
When we embark into new territory, we sometimes fall back into old ways out of fear, creating a fabricated reinforcement, leading us to forget acknowledgment of the new ways that made us stronger and wiser. We must remember that we can use our new found strength to foster the power to project our truth, to remove our masks.  Many of us hide behind the mask of our responsibilities,  job titles, wealth or excuses creating a facade of competent falsehood to avoid facing that which we should face.  Other times, if we find challenge with our self-esteem or our freedoms, we conjure ourselves into alter-egos, super beings and larger than life entities to create a mask of security.  The main reason we create facades is fear of acceptance or fear of rejection.  This fear, whether acceptance or rejection, is one and the same.  Either way, by focusing on the unknown, we cultivate this fear.  Many of us live our entire lives never once thinking about removing our mask.  It makes a hard and difficult path for therein lies the problem.    

The Problem with Masks
Masks in and of themselves aren't a bad thing - they can be sometimes be whimsical, wild, adventurous, sexy,  playful, fun, exciting.  The problem is that masks are meant to be worn temporarily.  When forced to wear them every day, it becomes a distortion of true selves.  It is a hard and sad occasion living untrue each day.  When worn all the time, we fool ourselves that the unnatural image is more beautiful than our own.  How vulnerable one must feel when they remove their masks in private for regardless of what mask you wear, you have to take it off sometime.  You can't sleep in it, you can't bathe in it, you can't breathe in it, you can't heal in it.  You can't live artificial all of the time.  If you imagine a freedom without your mask, do you know that everything will be okay? Life is not meant to be lived dependent upon the acceptance or rejection of others.  Light and truth will attract truth and light.  Realize that:

One single light still shines bright ~Zhu Shuzhen

Who Are You?

Unmasked - I am Me

For me, the practice of Yoga and the transition to raw, whole, live foods helped me remove my masks.  Yes, "masks" plural.  I, like many others wore more than one mask.  When you first begin this process, you discover or "learn" who you really are.  It is an amazing and very enlightening feeling.   One-by-one I removed my masks and became settled and more comfortable walking the steps of  my "facade-less" path.  For the first time in my life,  I am unmasked... I "see" myself.  I have clear skin, clear mind, and clear focus.  I accept myself and my truths.  I no longer seek acceptance or fear rejection of others.   I do not wear foundation to mask my clear skin or who I am.  If I wear a little kohl on my eyes or gloss on my lips, it is a fun, temporary mask that I take off for days, or even weeks, at a time.  I am happy to wear my face just as it was given to me.. unmasked.  I now know who I am... I am "me".  "Who" are you?

Unmask Yourself
Take off whatever mask(s) you have been hiding behind whether you wear it everyday or just once in a while.  Face your fears.  You will be surprised.  For every rejection, there will be an acceptance, most often from where you least expect it.  Your path to revealing your true self doesn't have to be solitary.  If you are afraid, look in the mirror and admit to yourself that you are; this act is the first step to breaking down the wall you've been hiding behind.  Take the guidance or hand of the one light that shines bright, that attracts and accepts your light.  Confess your truth, ask for mask removal assistance. Break old ways and methods.  Wash off the fake foundations. Rejoice as it dissipates.  Feel and grow in your empowerment.  Embrace the beauty of your true, exposed, naked, self - become the real "you".

Hearts and Souls

Last  week, I witnessed tremendous outreach from two individuals, each unbeknownst to the other, who, despite personal loss, sought to inspire, give and encourage, basking in a bright light of positiveness under circumstances that would have caused others to sulk in sorrow.  Although their happenings were different, each individual, chose not to ask for embrace, but to give it instead.  It is humbling and astonishing to see such courage and strength in action.  Prevalent in each is a quiet, peaceful patience and a generosity that comes from deep within...with a pure love from their hearts and souls.


A Cup of Soul Tea™

I wondered what enabled these two beings to act in the manner in which they did.  The answer came to me after I attended a yoga practice in honor of the launching of the e-book, "A Cup of Soul Tea".  The book is a personal evolutionary journey of "transformation from unfulfillment to fulfillment".   My friend, Jen McGown, the author and yogi,  led us in a mindful movement of Anahata, to honor and open our heart chakra.  The practice was intimate, quiet, solemn, focusing on self reflection and meditation.  Afterwards, in a dimmed room illuminated by soft candlelight, we shared in gratitude over a cup of herbal tea.  Although no one was required to, the five of us spoke in whispers.  The ambiance seemed to calm our souls and dictate a peacefulness.  How apropos.  Anahata symbolizes awareness of love, selflessness, and devotion.  The spiritual lesson of Anahata is forgiveness, unconditional love, letting go, and compassion.  When we suffer loss, our heart chakra is wounded and we take it personally.  I was taught that as you move through Anahata postures, it helps to silently recite "blessings, thankfulness, and love" as you forgive those who have caused you pain as well as those whom you have hurt.  This mindful movement opens, cleanses, and heals the heart.  The key to moving forward is loving, in spite of, without malice.  When you are able to do this, you have learned to open your heart.  It takes an incredible faith to love with selflessness - to give while in the midst of pain;  yet,  it is this very thing that fosters rejuvenation.

"Stay true to the song in your heart, while inspiring all those around to a life of abundant gratitude" - Jen McGown

Cha No Yu

In Japan, the tea ceremony, called Cha No Yu,  is a very reverent event.  It is conducted through self refinement with focus on harmony, purity, respect, and serenity.  It, like Jen's ceremony, it conducted with no more than five guests. The objective is to cleanse and clear the heart, creating patience which is the pathway to the soul .

"In your patience, possess ye your soul" - Luke 21:19

What I love about enjoying a cup of tea is the preparation.  To make tea properly takes time.  Time teaches intentional and respectful patience. The practice of Cha No Yu is a lengthy one. It requires patience.  Patience, according to it's definition, is:  to endure calmly when faced with difficulties.   Eighteenth century writer,  Bishop George Horne, states that "patience is the teacher of humility and forgiveness,  cherishes love, strengthens the spirit, subdues pride and extinguishes envy...patience is the preserver of peace".

A Lesson in Patience

Making tea properly, teaches this lesson. When we think of making tea, most of us think of a hot cup with aromatic tendrils wafting up into the air. It is a lovely thought.  To make any tea however, requires a calm, poised endurance.  This summer, I made sun tea.  I love the flavor and natural warmth of the tea from the hot summer sun.  It was a lesson in acceptance of time as I had to wait for the tea set and the flavor to become imbued by the fruit.  The hours it took to make the strong, flavorful tea was worth the wait.  My patience was rewarded by naturalness of the deep fruity taste.  This past week, my friend Chris, did just that.  He has a love that is so deep, so true and that it has filled his heart, overflowing to others with quiet equanimity.  When he experienced a heart-felt pain and injury to his ability to love, instead of closing up to languish in self pity and hurt, he stood still, wide open in the bright light of the sun...deciding to wait patiently for the natural warmth and the reward of a full harmonious flavor.  While he stands for that which he knows will someday return in one form or another, he shines intensely with positive energy, giving and helping others with words of inspiration, motivation, wisdom and even a little humor instead.  He does not know if or when his reward will come - he is not seeking it.  He is prepared to wait, without expectation, possessing clear heart and soul knowing that if it is for him, it shall be.  He exists with a calmness being insistent on not harboring any negativity or any anger at the source of his pain. He encourages all around him to follow his lead...to love from afar is better than not loving at all and to appreciate reception and fulfillment of the experience itself.   I have renamed him a "sweet angel" and am honored to receive his message and to be in his presence as a friend.

"I know it ain't easy giving up your heart"  

Adele, One and Only©2011

Empowerment

The lesson I learned this past week is that while it may seem difficult to give up your heart, you will achieve healing in time through acts of selflessness.  You will be strengthened.  We all have experienced deep loss, hurt, injury and pain. When we reflect upon it, we somehow fail to realize that we do not remain in the place where it occurred whether we've addressed it or not.  While we wait, time still moves and moves us with it.  No one stays in one place in exactly the same point.  We will move - how we move and in which direction we go depends on the strength of our souls, the openness of our hearts and the lessons learned during the quiet period we felt time slow down.  Growth is moving forward while you stand in your patience.  Through generosity, you will gain this openness and vitality. The soul is strengthened when the heart is selfless.  Wear your heart openly and share your soul freely.   It shall empower you.

Namaste.

Yoga: - The Color Green

Each chaka is represented by a color.  The Anahata chakra is represented by the color green.  The symbolism meaning of the color green is self control, renewal, soothing, and relaxation.


As we departed practice, dear Jen gave each of us a gratitude love token.  I have placed mine within a green cloth to remember the day...a little heart filled with a little tea... as a reminder to celebrate the openness of our hearts and the largeness of our souls.


Om Shanti.

Quiet Giants

Last week, a newly published book launched, hit the ground running, and is already an international bestseller.  Wow!  What's it about you ask, action-packed espionage? steamy love story? or perhaps a scary chilling gothic horror?  No.  The book is entitled, Welcome to Your Life by Ronny K. Prasad*.  What makes the book so great?  I don't yet know as I've yet to read it.  What I do know, however, is that is about self-fulfillment, empowerment and that the proceeds from the book will be contributed to an animal charity.  Right up my alley.  I also know that Ronny, or "Ron"  is one of the kindest souls I have had the pleasure to meet.

I am an extrovert.  I easily walk up to a stranger and introduce myself or make acquaintances. I have been told that this makes it easy to lead by example, start new things, champion a cause.  I was also told that not everyone can just get up on the soapbox and encourage people to follow their stead.  I was told that everyone can not be "like" me.  Wow.  I didn't know whether to be impressed or insulted.  First, because I do not have an expectation of others to be "like" me.  I feel my purpose is to share and to receive the sharing of others. Example is only for those who walk a similar path.  You can not be an example for someone who isn't interested.  Secondly, I totally disagree with the statement.  While we are all different, it doesn't matter the level, degree or manner of message delivery.  EVERYONE has "something" that they are passionate about.  Just because someone is introverted, what some may call shy,  not readily "volunteering" of information, or just simply quiet in demeanor, does not mean that they do not have anything to say or lack the ability to do so.  If so called extroverted people take the time to be attentive with genuine interest, a surprise may be in store from what may be learned from one who is not as outspoken.

A volcanic mountain sits silently until it has something to say.

Some of the most powerful people do not speak at all.  They just "do" and allow you to take what you will from what you observe.  In the animal world, the elephant is a quiet giant.  It is considered a compassionate, wise and powerful animal.  Elephants go about silently but are fierce, strong, loud and swift if need be.  The quiet human giants of the world tend to move mountains, foster invention, and have put their ideas in motion - doing what they intend to do instead of shouting it out.  Ron impressed me as one such man.  Although he is in public, and constantly in front of people, he has a mild-mannered demeanor and is quite a gentleman.  I'll  never picture him as the raucous life of the party volunteering unsolicited information.  Yet, Ron is as powerful as they come. He is a wise observer,  passionate about his work and becomes quite animated when asked.  Ron is a powerhouse.  He is  vegan, a certified lifecoach, mentor, speaker, animal activist, author and motivator.  With humility, he offers inspirational, positive, considerate messages and is dedicated to spreading self-empowerment internationally.  Well done, since Ron hails from Australia, many like myself, here in the United States, are proud to call him a friend.  A quiet giant is like a volcanic mountain, sitting silently until it has something to share and then roars with force to be reckoned.

It is often said that "you get more with honey than with vinegar".  How true.  A quiet giant does this well for they have mastered the art of being attentive to the needs of their audience and knows how to deliver a powerful, even forceful message without hate, intimidation, or fear. The loud, boisterous one often interlaces subliminal threats or fear into their messages.  The quiet giant gently and humbly presents their platform without persuasion.  Either take it or leave it.   As you think about it, you realize that you've been surrounded by giants your entire life.  As you meet one, you find another.  Two giants are Danelle and Angela. I've known Danelle over 35 years. She too, is one of my dearest friends.  I've just met Angela a little over a year and half ago through Danelle.  Danelle and Angela are kindred spirits who touch many through their inspiration and dedication to yoga.   It is through the syrupy sweetness of their honey that I am certain they have lead to the practice of many and inspired the courage to live.  Each of these ladies have overcome personal illness, tragedy and detrimental injury.  Both  Danelle* and  Angela*  survive, each spreading positive energy with a polite, humble quiet.  Just over two years ago, Angela was involved in a tragic car accident which left her severely wounded.  Through yoga, she healed.  Instead of broadcasting, she practiced and studied.  Better to do instead of speak.  Today, she is a certified instructor, has opened a small studio and begun to conduct yoga classes.  Danelle, was diagnosed with illness. She too, through practice is experiencing healing.  She quietly has touched souls through her self-less practice and has inspired a humble quietness amongst many in the yogic world who may be considered "outspoken".  Without intention, these ladies have inspired my yoga practice.  I am certain they have inspired countless others.  It is their quiet approach which attracts so many to them.  It makes them colossus. 

Close your mouth and look up!  You may discover
the beauty of the giants whom loom above you.

Giants do not have to be people you know.  They can be strangers, people you notice in your day to day happenings, or read about.  If you are extroverted like me, close your mouth for a moment and look around - more importantly,  look up! You may find yourself surrounded by towering silent entities each with something to teach you.  To you who are the quiet ones, those who are not so voluntarily ready to speak, continue in your stead to be who you are! Welcome to Your Life.  You may be surprised to know that someone may be looking up you in awe, in appreciation of your goliath gift, and readily listening to your message.

* select this link for: Danelle's Story

* select this link for: Angela's Story

* select this link for: Ron's Quick Facts

Yoga:  Elephant trunk pose - Eka Hasta Bhujasana

My friend Angela...
A quiet giant demonstrating Elephant Trunk Pose.

In Hinduism, Ganesha, the elephant god, is the Lord of Success, the conquerer of evil, the god of wisdom and knowledge. Ganesha gained power by quietly walking to win a race instead of a loud, fast moment. 


The Elephant trunk pose is poignant and beautiful.  It captures the quiet of the moment and demonstrates the incredible, titan, personal strength required for this advanced yoga pose.


Namaste.

Servant Leadership

I first heard this oxymoronic term in my corporate life about fifteen years ago.  As a member of my firm's executive staff, I was required as so were my colleagues, to take some form of annual training. Each year, it was something we all dreaded.  Our CEO however, an excellent strategic planner, had arranged for each of us to take the same course together maximizing the effectiveness of the training with minimal time away from the office.  The course was aptly titled "Servant Leadership".  Everyone in that room, myself included, were responsible for managing a major division.  We were "important", we were "leaders".   

The instructor began by asking us to look around the room and to single out our business nemesis, the one colleague that got under our skin.  That was easy.  As seniors, we were all extremely territorial and competitive.  There were definitely a few rivalries each vying for the favor of the CEO.   The instructor asked us to write down five work-related things we disliked about the person we selected.  We had ten minutes to do so.  Easy.  I jotted down seven things in two minutes.  Then the instructor did something interesting...he gave us ten more minutes and asked us to write down five work-related things we "liked" about the same person.  hmm.  Not so easy.  I managed to jot down just two things before the time ran out.  Everyone in the room had the same experience.  The instructor told us that our egos had lead us to feel superior and competitive , that we felt we could display negativity and judgment regarding someone's else work.   We had each objectified the people we had selected, failing to see their humanity. This same ego prohibited us from possessing the humility needed to acknowledge the goodness in our colleagues' work; that just as easily as we selected someone to "dislike", someone else had most probably easily selected us also.

Humility

The point of the exercise was to learn how to "see" people and how to be humble.  The instructor told us that "you can't lead unless you know how to serve".  How profound.   When you quiet your pride, you open your heart and your hands to humility and servitude.  Our CEO got it!  By serving the needs of her egotistical staff, she had broken barriers which resulted in a more cohesive, successful organization.  She saw that she could not lead the organization forward if the senior staff did not get along.  Under the auspices of "mandatory training", it was brilliant leadership.

Prepare to serve.  Humble yourself.

  I've never forgotten this lesson and was grateful to receive it early in my career as I used it to "pay it forward" and I learned to serve my staff as I led them.  I never thought this concept could be used outside of my corporate world.  More and more, I am finding that the more I humble myself to service the needs of others, the more I find myself in a position of leadership as opportunities to teach, coach, direct, guide and share continue to present themselves.

The vegan and yogic community is a "pay it forward" world.  As someone helps you, you help someone else, who in turn helps yet another.  You can only give and receive help if you are humble enough to admit that you need help, and are grateful when you receive it.  It is a positive cycle.  Thus, serving and leading are one and the same, a strong servant also leads and directs the manner in which those they serve shall go.

Hands-On

I've had the pleasure of meeting Jen McGown.  Jen is the humble leader of One Yoga Philly yoga studio and is also the founder of the, Yoga on the Parkway, which fulfills her dream of serving the citizens of her city.  It is an event that promotes health and wellness.  It is the ultimate example of paying it forward.

I am certain that those who attend or lend a helping hand will be touched in some manner and will reach out to someone else.  No ego's here.  I am most impressed with Jen because she has used her hands to create this event first to those she served, and then led, folks whose hands now work in her stead spreading a positive message with infectious enthusiasm.  She so eloquently  wrote about it a very moving blog entry in which she shares her gratitude.  What touched me about this entry is that it reminded me of the training I mentioned earlier.  Jen, like the instructor, had removed the objectivity out of leadership and made it real, made it "human".

As I wrote to her in response to this post, I stated that it all begins with the hands.  Hands are tangible and hold your truth.    Using your hands to effect change shall be returned in abundance. How you use them will either condemn you or reward you. Why not use them positively?

King or King Maker

Ask yourself.  Who is more powerful, the King or the King Maker?  A wise man will tell you it isn't the king.  It is the servant, the king maker.  If the king is powerful, how powerful is he who makes the king?  The servant is the person behind the scenes "making it happen".  If you are the king:

• be sure to serve the king maker and your reign shall be long and prosperous for the king maker shall lend their hand to help you serve the people

• remember to pay it forward by mentoring and becoming the maker of future kings

Think of those you consider great leaders albeit personal, historical, or famous.  What did they have in common? What made them great?  Can you recognize their servitude and humility?  If you can not, then you have not identified a true leader.  You have mistakenly identified a dictator, one who abuses power, one who lets their egos take over, one who consumes and uses their hands to break instead of build.

We are all born with the capability to become leaders.  How we choose to develop our inner leader is determined by our actions:

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"~Gandhi 

Identify your leadership.    Look, see, attend.  Focus on five good things in a person instead of five that aren't. Define your servitude.  Embrace your humility. 

Namaste. 

Yoga:  Mudras (Healing Hand Movement)

When you think of serving, you usually start with your hands.  In yoga, the hands play an important role in practice.  Hands are used to perform mudras. Mudras begin with the hands but can encompass the entire body.  People use mudras without even realizing it as hands in prayer position is a common mudra used in several religions.

Guyan Mudra
Stimulates knowledge, ability, receptiveness and calm.

According to Kundalini Yoga.org, "a mudra is a gesture or position of the hands that locks and guides energy flow and reflexes to the brain.  By curling, crossing, stretching, and touching the fingers and hands, we can talk to the body and mind as each of the area of the hand reflexes to a certain part of the mind or body."  In Buddhism, a mudra is the beginning of cleansing on the path to enlightenment.

A mudra prepares the mind and the body for service and for leadership.

The Brick Wall

Day 230 - Facing the brick wall.   After a strong run, the brick wall has found me... Somewhat.  No, I haven't fallen off the vegan bandwagon and with enthusiastic strength, I am confident I shall remain vegan for the rest of my days.   I am however, human with human emotions, feelings, and actions.  My number one challenge has always been comfort eating.  I used food as a cushion to soften blows of hurt.  I would just treat myself to some decadent “thing” and gorge.  It was the one thing I could control at times when I was not able to control that which hindered me.  I was so swept up in my new vegan world that when I opened my eyes and ears to my former world, I received a heartfelt blow that caused me to revert to old ways..to seek comfort in the very foods I had to get away from.  I ran head first into that wall and gave up eating raw for about a week.  I stopped sharing with my vegan friends, and just ate things not good for me:  white potatoes, breads, beans, rice, pastas, peanut butter.  All the while, I was able to give advice to others, I did not seek any for myself.  I let the brick wall crush me. 

Poisonous words - another set of bricks

You may ask, after all this time, what happened?  I realize now that the wall had been slowly building a brick at time.   It’s no secret that over the past seven months, I have experienced a great amount of weight loss.  I don’t know how much because I refused to be a slave to a scale as the objective of this journey was not about losing weight.  Never considered “obese”, my last check-up two years ago revealed that , I was at the top of my weight range for my height.  At 5’9”, my weight was always distributed evenly and people always thought of me as slender.  Despite this, I easily fit double-digit sized clothing.  As I mentioned in, "Sad vs Glad", the purpose of this shift is to improve the quality of life, to avoid "death by diet".  If a little weight loss due to purging of animal products occurred, then so be it. 

Unfortunately, all do not see this as I do.  Now that I wear single-digit clothing, people who physically “see” me (family, friends, associates)  have begun to make remarks about my weight loss and it feels negative.   Some consider this a “hobby” and fear I am becoming obsessed, some have called me puny, skinny, a few have poked me or placed their hands around my arms or legs as if to “measure” how small I have become.  No one notices or mentions that I am strong as an ox, that I have energy, that I am… happy.  As my body transitions, and as I learn, I realize that I must continue to build muscle and healthy tissue.  But, alas, no one sees the finish line as I do.   Outside of my vegan world, in my physical world, all I seem to hear is remarks about the juices  and the raw dishes and “I don’t know how you eat that stuff”.

Bunk the “stick and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt” adage.  Words do hurt and we must be mindful of them for each word becomes another brick in the walls we build for ourselves or others.

Soulmates and Sledgehammers

 I paid the price of my week of eating badly.  Lethargy, skin breakouts, no desire to work out, and depression.   I kept it to myself.  With a big sigh, I slowly started over and decided to do what was right for me not other people.  Funny thing happens when you hit the brick wall, most of those who drove you to it don’t even realize their part in helping to create it and that you are carrying your bricks "around your neck like an albatross* (from the poem “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”©1798,Samuel Taylor Coleridge) .  In the poem, an old mariner is forced to see, deal, and profess his indiscretion.   It is only after he confesses, that he is given a chance of hope.  This same rang true for me.  On my own, I confided that I had not eaten well and that I would start anew by completing a detoxifying 5-day juice fast. 

Soulmates are the sledgehammer
needed to break down walls.

On day three of the fast, a friend from the other side of the world, Jo Hazelhurst, spoke of similar food experiences, unbeknownst of my own transgression.  Speechless, I realized just at that moment, we were soulmates.  I was at the same place in the same time as she.  This isn’t the first time we’ve been parallel.  In, "Breaking Fast", I mentioned that she was “Vegan Girl goes Yoga”.  We use the same quote by Gandhi as our personal motto, and we’re both on the path of raw living,  positive coaching, to give more than we receive, to practice yoga, to live peacefully.    While words that hurt build brick walls, the strength of soulmates become the sledgehammer needed to break them down.  I realize that no matter what, I really am not alone.  My physical world is only one aspect of many.  I learned not to be afraid to reveal my wall, my vulnerabilities, and to ask for help.

Trying Again  (if at first you don’t succeed)

Kale, snow peas, squash, tomato, granny smith apple, sprouted raw beans
Topped with nutritional yeast and a splash of Bragg's amino acid

I know what I had to do, I had to pick myself up, dust off and try again.  I looked to the foods that were successful and realized that I have learned a lot from beans.  I learned take it slow and to practice patience. Now, I have learned to try again. A month or so ago, I attempted to sprout raw garbanzo beans with dismal results.  After a great start, they decayed and went foul.  I walked away from it.  Two weeks ago, I tried again with fantastic results.  The beans were delicious and I made this salad with them.

The lesson here is that like me, sometimes, you too will soar, but “sometimes you won’t...sadly, it’s true that Bang-Ups and Hang-Ups can happen to you... when you’re in a slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done…yet, somehow, you will escape..” (from the book: Oh the Places You’ll GO” ©1990 Dr. Suess aka Theodore Geisel)  

So, discover a new way to comfort yourself:  find a soulmate,  grab a sledgehammer, break down your wall, and try again.

Yoga: Tadasana -  Mountain Pose

The starting pose in most yoga practice.  The purpose of mountain pose is to strengthen or improve posture, to signify that is time to begin.  You can stand in mountain pose in meditation, as long as you need to.  According to The Expanding Light, the mountain pose “has a very special purpose, it sets the tone for all that will follow.  It is the neutral pose between other poses.”  

For me, it signifies deep cleansing breath, standing still, on strong feet, in alignment, releasing all prior negativity, ready to try again, ready to begin anew. 

Serendipity

I live in a small town.  One square mile to be exact.  Founded a little over 300 years ago, it’s scattered with historic homes and buildings.  We even have a tree that dates back to the late 1600’s. There are only a few thousand residents.  Aside from three franchises (a convenient mart, donut shop, and discount store), there are no big box flagship stores or shopping centers.  We don’t even have a commercial supermarket or hospital.  While all of these things are very close by in neighboring townships, there are none in my town.  The main street is peppered with small merchants and it has a open market filled with produce and seasonal plants from local farmers.  I love my town.  It is quaint.  I thought I knew my town well but alas, I do not .  Last week, as I walked down the main thoroughfare,  a street  I must have walked down a thousand times, I decided to stop into a shop that I had never been in.   I needed nutritional yeast.  I did not feel like traveling the usual 5-6 miles outside of my neighborhood to purchase at my usual vegetarian shop.  I walked in to what I thought was a “vitamin store” hoping to find the yeast.  My expectation was low.   When I walked in, I was immediately greeted by the proprietor who kindly introduced himself.  As I looked around, my jaw dropped. This was not a vitamin store at all.  It was a vegan lover’s delight!  I realized I was in the middle of a serendipitous moment.

Serendipity -  the act of finding something valuable or delightful 

when you are not looking for it; a happy accident; an extremely pleasant and 

unexpected surprise that was not planned but happened for the good.

The store had everything a vegan could ever need or want : organic grains, beans, seeds and raw nuts; spices sold by the weight; hemp protein; tempeh; agave nectar; nut and rice milks; organic cacao; chia fruit bars; a freezer filled with vegan desserts; salad dressings; raw vinegars; natural soaps, shampoos, and body oils. In the rear was a full library of resource materials and as if that weren’t enough, the store holds free vegetarian cooking class once a month and weekly a devotional/meditation .   Flabbergasted, I must have spent an hour in there talking with the owner and other patrons before finally purchasing everything but the nutritional yeast!

After I left, I could not help but think that the pleasant surprise of discovering that this “not  a vitamin store” in my own town, walking distance from my house, was  demonstrative of my vegan trek thus far.  At every turn, I’ve been surprised with good fortune.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Feb 3^rd  marked the start of the Chinese New Year.  There are 12 animals in the Chinese Zodiac which represent  a 12-year cycle used for dating the years.  Every year is assigned an animal name or "sign" according to a repeating cycle.  Therefore, every twelve years the same animal name or "sign" would reappear.  The animal in circulation at the time of your birth is the one which represents you.  You will experience your year at ages 12, 24, 36, etc.  This year is the “Year of the Rabbit”  which to my good fortune, is also the animal of the year in which I was born.  It is my year.  How appropriate that my “year” would also be the one in which I will celebrate both six months and my first anniversary of living vegan.  There are many complementing traits attributed to people born under the Rabbit, one of which is that they are generally “lucky”.  Wow.  Another pleasant surprise and confirmation that I am moving forward in accordance to my path.  The Chinese do not wish each other “Happy New Year” as we Westeners do.   Instead, they wish blessings of prosperity to their fellow man.  In Cantonese, this greeting is written as "Gong Xi Fa Cai".  With this in mind, I realize that I must honor and be true to my rabbit.

“Be not afraid of greatness”  “To thine ownself be true”

Two great quotes from the William Shakespeare.  What wisdom and advice!  We are taught  as children to be modest in our decorum, and to be humble in our nature.  But we always managed to shout out, "Hey,  I'm great, Look what I can do!!!"  As adults, sometimes, we somehow loose the fight and take modesty a little too much to heart .  We do not follow our own paths.  We become afraid to take a leap of faith because we fear our own success.  While we know the difference between shouting our greatness and arrogant pride,  we fear being falsely labeled as a braggart.  This leads to unhappiness because we are not

Don't be afraid, remember your youth
  Acknowledge your greatness! Your truth will follow

following our truths.   Each step we take should be towards our own greatness, a step which elevates us from one level to another. 

Take the time to get to know yourself.  Realize your strengths and weaknesses.  Use one to help the other.   Celebrate and reward yourself when you stumble upon a “happy accident”.  As you continuously repeat this process, you will begin to learn what you should and shouldn’t do, and you will feel empowered, less afraid to go out to venture into new territories, to experience new greatness – to walk down streets you have always walked down to discover a new truth and wonderful place filled with goodies  just for you.

As I continue this journey, what I feared is slowly dissolving.  I am no longer intimated by seemingly difficult recipes, nutritional balance, or lack of support.   I am discovering greatness in numbers, an abundance of food choices, and a growing of number of vegan support.  I feel empowered to create new recipes, experiment with different foods, reach out for help, and "think" much "larger" than I did before.  It feels simple because for me, it is truth.

Celebrate the Rabbit this year.  According to one website, in Chinese tradition, regardless of which year you were born, the Rabbit brings a year in which you can catch your breath and calm your nerves.  It is a time for negotiation.  Don’t try to force issues because if you do, you will ultimately fail.   My wish for you this year is:

Accept what is great.  Live your life to the fullest! 

May you give love, feel love, and be loved.  

May you be prosperous, experience the blissful joy of serendipitous,

  pleasant surprises and remember to savor each and every day. 

 May you be great and true.

Yoga:  Sasagasana (Rabbit Pose)  and Sat Nam (universal unchanging self truth)

Sasangasana:  Rabbit Pose

In yoga, the rabbit pose or Sasangasana aids digestion (another pleasant surprise!).  It improves thyroid function, helps sinus problems, and chronic tonsillitis. The Rabbit stretches the spine as you bend forward, bringing all the weight to the crown of the head permitting the nervous system to receive proper nutrition while maintaining flexibility, mobility and elasticity of the spine, arms, shoulders and back muscles.

At the end of your practice, recite the mantra Sat Nam three times.  To do so is to acknowledge that truth is your identity - to be true to yourself.  Sat Nam means unchanging, universal self truth.

Namaste.

Rescuing Failure

Haven't posted in over twenty days.  Been in the slumps, feeling a little defeated about my first attempt at a juice fasting.  I had so much anticipation and hope about a successful outcome but alas, twas not to be.  I did make it through the first two days great but by the end of the second day, my body could not handle the "shock" and purged. While overall it was a good thing as that meant toxins were leaving  rapidly, I guess I was hoping for a slow void without illness.  My mentor/coach had put together a "5-Day Sexy Vegan Juicy Fast" complete with inspiration, yoga postures, and best of all, daily recipes for scrumptious juices.  I was all gung-ho. After crashing and burning, I needed help - I needed a rescue.

The Rescuers

Day 120.  One hundred and twenty days.  A number I never imagined when I blindly set forth on this journey.  Along the way I have stumbled, slumped, bumbled, fallen, stood up, sown, flown, and soared.  Through it all I've remained steadfast in my dedication and commitment.  For some, the crash and burn leads to  the "F" word which is most associated with negativity or vulgarity.  In any instance, it is use as an expression or explicative to garner attention and it usually works.  During this experience, I have a discovered few "F" words of my own all attributed to the Rescuers.

Perhaps the most rewarding opportunity over these past three months has been the new relationships and support that have come by way of the vegan community.  Through these kind souls, each of whom I affectionately re-named the Rescuers, I have learned to appreciate my "F" words: first, friendship, fighters, frustration, fasting, failure, forging, forward, future. Each of these words have contributed to my growth, especially this last month.

F Words Group 1 - Fasting, Failure, Frustration:

Despite the fact that I did not possess a juice extractor, I was ready to participate in the juice fast. I happily shopped for the juice ingredients and was ecstatic as I chopped, diced and squeezes juices by hand.  I came up with creative ways to utilize the pulp without throwing it away and I logged on to update my progress as well as read the feedback of the other participants which were close to 30.

Juice 1: kale, celery, grapefruit, green granny smith apples
and the ingredients for Juice 2:
spinach, carrots, tomato, ginger, lemon, basil

How proud I was of my first juices. I followed all of  the instructions on the checklist:

 √   chew your juice
 √   drink slowly each glass should take 
      30 - 40 minutes to consume
  √  drink 9 glasses of water
  √  consume green tea w/ ginger & lemon
      in between drinks as needed
  √ start the day with yoga & meditation 

I was so tickled with my results! The deep rich colors and the taste of the raw juice was so intoxicating!  I actually did very well my first day and did not  experience any hunger pangs.  The cravings for food did hit about

The rich colors of hand-squeezed juice.

4am on the morning of day two.  It actually woke me up.  I could literally "feel" movement in my intestines. That was the warning sign I failed to recognize.

By the end of the second day I was feeling ill.  My body went into protection mode and it was all over! Alas, I had to depart from the fast and I sure wasn't feeling too sexy.

After informing my fellow juicers of my frustration, and failure, Yogini, Valerie Devi (see below), blogged about becoming ill during your first fast (http://wildyogini.wordpress.com/2010/12/12/wild-fast-day-four-feeling-ill/ ) .  Wow, I was normal!!!

F Words Group 2 - First, Friendship, Fighters:

After failing and fighting, an amazing thing occurred.  I was introduced to many, new, wonderful vegans.  It was a first for me.  Prior to becoming vegan, there were only known two vegans in my small, intimate circle.  It is an awestruck realization to experience the expansion of this circle.  I have met some amazing people.  I've discovered that there are varying levels of veganism which overlap from raw foodists to educators, to activists.  The interaction with these warm souls have "expanded my horizons" and have opened my eyes to many new possibilities.  While I value our new budding friendships, I appreciate the lessons of first experiences with them, and I admire their fighting spirit to educate, teach, and reach as many as they possibly can with their messages.    Allow me to introduce a few of these wonderful folks, the Rescuers to you:

Yogini Valerie Devi, http://wildyogini.wordpress.com, master yoga instructor, natural health consultant, raw vegan, yoga massage therapist, author, "Wild Yogini", a blog full of helpful information and healthy eating tips, linking mind, body, and soul, expounding upon the relationship between yoga and veganism.

Ayinde Howell,   http://www.ieatgrass.com/ , executive vegan chef , actor, musician, yoga instructor, food coach, author, "I Eat Grass",  a vegan lifestyle website and blog. Full of human interest stories, advice, helpful tips, vegan recipes, pop culture commentary.

Friendship Bracelets 

Oli Dillon Squire,   http://www.actionforourplanet.com, animal rights activist, blogger, and author, "Action for Our Planet", website dedicated to educating, informing, and documenting atrocities and activities against animal around the world.

Asante George,  http://livingourbliss.net/default.aspx , raw vegan educator, chef, artist, poet, author,  "Living Our Bliss", a book, website, and blog about raw living food and organic lifestyle.

Drew McCall Burke, http://veganreality.com/, raw vegan foodist, personal fitness trainer,  my unofficial vegan mentor, coach, cheerleader, and creator of the 5-Day Sexy Vegan Juicy Fast.  Full of energy, positive encouragement and healthy advice, her mantra is "The Power of ONE to change a few, the Power of a few to change many, and the Power of many to change Nations always begins with the Power of ONE - you."

I have had the pleasure of conversing with each of these first friends, some briefly, others at length.  The one common thread is their dedication to (what another first friend said to me), "vegan is a mindset, more than a lifestyle or diet". 

F Words Group 3  - Forward, Forging, Future

After re-enforcing and feeling rescued, I feel ready to forge forward.  I am re-energized with the prospect of my new future.  How apropos that this revelation is on the eve of the new year.  I look forward with eagerness of what is to come and excited about all that I have yet to learn. Remembering that I possess  the ability to fight and forge with  friends to move into new realms will empower me.  It will allow me the opportunity  to "pay it forward", to develop the strength to rescue someone, in my stead,  who is first faltering, frustrated and feeling failure.

If at first you don't succeed.....try again.   With memories of failure fading, I will once again,  join the next "5 Day Sexy Vegan Juicy Fast", confident of a different result.

Yoga:  Boat Pose (again) - re-enforces your core strength and is just the rescue you need when you are drowning in a sea of frustration and failure.

Acceptance

I had begun to write this post with about a quarter done when,  I accidentally deleted everything I had written. Of course, I was frustrated and exasperated.  Unfortunately, I could not retrieve it and there was nothing I could do.    The situation reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" ~Theodore Roosevelt

Thinking about it caused me to alter my subject matter.  This statement is about acceptance.   It makes you realize that sometimes, you have to just accept yourself, your standing, and your current status.  A few synonyms for acceptance are: consent, assume, consume, bear, learn, admit, be.  Acceptance forces us to peer into the mirror and honestly look at what we see to discover our truths:

Can you accept what you see?

          Truth 1: I am weak

          Truth 2: I am strong.

          Truth 3: I am old.

          Truth 4: I am young.

          Truth 5: Sometimes, in one instance, I am all of the
                       above and sometimes none.

We all possess the strength needed to pull through weak points, and each of us are old pros at some things while young novices at others.   Too often, we tend to overlook and seek false acknowledgment.  The problem is that the image we project isn't always the one in the mirror.    In order to seek truthful acceptance from others, you must first accept as-is; complete with deletions, frustrations, exasperations and start overs.  The ability to identify, acknowledge and "see" each truth clearly for what it is and what it offers is the first step to self reception.

Through any journey, acceptance will help you decipher your vulnerabilities (weakness) and teach you how to make adjustment and/or improvement accordingly (strength).   It is the catalyst to break or change your paradigms (oldness) and to venture forth with new meaning (youth).

Paradigm Shift

I thought about my relationship with a words and how some definitions have changed for me since I began this transition so I decided to have a little fun with a few:

Mael (vampire) or Meal?
Meanings change when paradigms shift

Non-Vegan to Non-Vegan        Non-Vegan to Vegan            Vegan to Vegan

          fowl:foul                             piece:peace                slight(not much):sleight (skill)*  
         burgher:burger                     meat:meet                                   affect:effect

          whale:wail                          gored:gourd                                route:root   
          yoke:yolk                           beat:beet                                    serial:cereal
          yack:yak                            lessen:lesson                               whey:way (path)
          worst:wurst                        chews:choose                     cede(give up meat):seed*
          mussel:muscle                     preys:praise                                site:sight
          locks:lox                             roe:row                                       current:currant
          awful:offal (entrails)            charred:chard                               flour:flower
          stake:steak                         paws:pause                                  knead:need 
          vein:vain                             doe:dough                                    maze:maize
          bate:bait                             pistol:pistil (seed bearer)               recede:reseed
          flea:flee                               tongue:tung (tree)                         peal:peel
          lamb:lam                    quints(multiple births):quince(fruit)         use:yews(trees)
          hart:heart         leech (blood sucker) : leach (wash away)*      pare:pear                  

* =  my favorites

Breaking Through

Having fun and not taking things so seriously helps break the images we've engraved in our heads.  How many times have we heard the saying, "What's old is new again?"  or how about "Recycle, Renew, Re-use? ".  When you recycle, you generally use the old material in a new way.  It is amazing when you look at something you have always possessed and see something new just by changing how you view it.  When things that sounded the same now have a different meaning or perspective, congratulations!  You have experienced growth and understanding.  You have shifted your paradigm. It is called a "break-through". So, in retrospect, perhaps the subject I was to write about would be better suited for another place and time.  Perhaps, the lesson here was to teach "welcoming of self"  for I,  like many, tend to be my own worst enemy - punishing myself unrealistically for something  falsely judged as "not enough".  Let go of your stubbornness, learn that acceptance doesn't mean giving up or in.  It is reception with sagaciousness, of  what is, as is, where is. The next time you delete something you've working on...start again.  You may need to learn a lesson, move in another direction, or look at something differently.

Place a lien on negativity and failure; learn to lean on the positive success of redefining old meanings. Lighten up, have a little fun and be happy with the image in the mirror.

crow pose

Yoga:  Crow Pose 
The purpose of the crow pose is to develop mental tranquility; it teaches acceptance of self.  Everyone falls when learning this pose.  It enables you to lean, to depend upon your personal core strength and your ability to balance. You have to learn to lift up one foot at a time and slowly feel how far you can go at that particular moment.  While practicing the pose,  you must literally look forward - you quickly learn that if you let your head drop or lean to quickly, you will lose balance and will fall on your face.  When trying Crow Pose, change your definition of strength and weakness, accept what you can do, as you are, where you are, and gradually work towards your goal.  

Namaste.