Losing Control

I have lost control.  This is a new feeling for me for I was always an "in control person".  I was always the one to be on top of affairs, run things, coordinate, orchestrate, conduct, facilitate, manage.  This proved very successful during my corporate years as I was rewarded and sought out because I could "make things happen" and "get things done".   I ran every aspect of my life and those in it with diligence. I easily managed  multi-million dollar budgets and several hundred employees in the same manner I orchestrated family trips and play dates.  I was always the "go to girl" for corporate projects, functions, baby showers, or weddings.  Everything always went off successfully.   I thought fast on my feet and always had a back up plan or alternative to ensure a final successful objective.  I recall how proud I was at the "astonishment" of other parents when I gave them a typed Agenda of Events for my son's 5 year birthday party.  It never dawned on me that their reaction may not have been in accolade of my "accomplishment".  I did not notice because my focus was centered on controlling the situation. It was important that I even dictated or at least influenced how others even thought of me and what I was doing.  I was always intent on controlling how I thought I appeared, not realizing that the tight, overbearing grip does not align nor appeal with a peaceful, zen-filled life.  It took a simple act of waste disposal to send me spiraling out of control with a blissful gratitude.

Throwing it all away

Last week, my area was scheduled for a long awaited disposal of yard waste and debris. After a long winter, it was great to clean up loose leaves, dead shrubs, and grass clippings.  As we are in the process of cutting down a dead tree, we had accumulated quite a bit of branches and twigs for disposal.  Since the pick up is not a regularly scheduled event, I had written it on the calendar a month in advance to ensure we would not miss  pick up.  Since my town has strict rules about when and what you can put out on the curb, to place the waste out the night before was not feasible. It was important to put things out first thing in the morning. All day prior to  pick up, I literally calculated how and why I would bound the branch bundles and determined where each would lay. I went to bed ready to get up to get things out bright and early.  When I awoke, I immediately prepared to go outside to start my task.   To my utter surprise, for the first time in years, I had slept longer than I wished to.  I immediately began to panic, feeling the control slip from my grasp.  My house was quiet.  My family had already left for the day.  I had missed their departure, something I had not ever done.  When I opened my front door ready to get back on track, lo and behold, to my utter surprise,  the waste was prepared and placed at the curb, ready for pick up.  My family had taken care of it.  No, they did not calculate  how, why or where to do it; nor did they "consult" with me, they just did it.  I went back in and sat down.  This simple act became an earth shattering revelation for me.  The objective was accomplished and I had nothing to do with it.  I had no control over it.  I had lost control and all was still standing.  With no control, I had just learned how  to rely and how to depend.

Dependence

When I started practicing yoga,  as I first began my vegan transition, I never hesitated to accept the assistance of others.  I naturally sought out others for help in areas I had no knowledge.  Perhaps the humility of the practice and the quieting of my mind allowed my heart become open to dependence.  In this instance, I came to the realization that you can not control that which you do not know and that is it okay not to know. I discovered a new found freedom in accepting the guidance and reliance of others, discovering that as I became more agile in poses and more knowledgeable in raw vegan consumption, I find I need not be in control, that things will eventually fall into place exactly where and as it should at the precise moment it is meant to occur.  Being present in the moment and acceptance of self "as-is" was wonderful in my yogic vegan life however it took the trash episode to break the grip of mental control I still maintained on everything outside of the vegan, yogic circle.  I am finally beginning to loosen up.

  

Loosening Up

In my past, the worst in the world that could ever happen would be to lose control.  The epiphany of last week has shown that loosing control is not a terrible thing at all.  It is something we all can do on a regular basis.  Loosen up and let it go. For in reality, you never were in control of others anyway.  You can't control other people or other things.  There is an arrogance somewhere hidden within the thought of being "controlling" that facilitates such thought.  Let it go.  Imagine an empty glass on an empty table.  Allow the glass to fill up slowly with water.  See the water fill the glass to the brim and feel the water spill over the sides onto table and run in all directions off of the edge.   Imagine yourself as the water.  Imagine  you filling up glass to the brim as you slowly begin to spill out in all directions, all over the place with no control...dispersed.   Instead of focusing on self, become so full of yourself that you have had enough, that you now must spill out into the unknown to spread and share that which you used to try to keep contained in the one glass on one table.  

As you lose grip of that which you held too tightly, let it go, as well as what others may think of you, of expectation, of objective if each is something that continues to keep you bound and wound around artificially created stresses and desires.   If your hands are in, on, and around everything, it is time.  Time to learn to look to see your true self.  Realize that a typed agenda for a "party" of 5-year olds is absurd.  Realize that attempting to manipulate your view upon others in an the attempt to influence their view of you is selfish and inconsiderate.  Stop, reflect, look through your trash for your "ah-ha" moment.  Realize that sometimes, it is okay to be out of control, to throw it all away, to accept dependence. Understand that you don't have to know or do everything, to touch everyone, or to always be in control.  Accept that through meditation and breath, you can let your mind drift to free your spirit, releasing the grasps and tensions that kept you up on your toes, holding up shoulders, eyebrows, hair, heart rates, agendas and schedules.  Know that when you return to your physical state, you will see just as I have, that the earth is still rotating on its axis, that objectives were met, that others helped and that everything is fine, just as it should be.

Yoga - Partner Poses

When practicing yoga with a partner, one practices dependence as the full benefit of the posture can not be realized without release of personal control.  Instead of focusing on "self", the focus is to be reliable to and to rely upon "other".  Partner poses provide deeper stretches, connectivity, challenge, and increased strength.  Partner practice facilitates awareness of letting go of control, letting go of self, and encourages reliance, bonding, sharing,  and awareness.  

Unmasking

Last week I posed for my first professional photo shoot.  In anticipation of the event, I purchased a make-up foundation for my face.  It is a cosmetic that conceals imperfection and evens complexion tone.  It is artificial. I was quite familiar with this application as I used to wear it daily.  It is called foundation as it is the base upon which additional makeup is added.  The night before my shoot, I put on a "full face" makeup with all of the cosmetics usually applied for "the camera".  As a former modeling student, I was taught how to "properly" apply the products on my face.  When I looked in the mirror at the "finished look", I no longer saw myself.   Instead, I saw the mask I had created.  It was an epiphany.  It was not me.  I had changed. The makeup mask no longer represented a look of beauty.  For the past two years, I have been walking this personal journey of truth seeking and could not find any truth in the caricature that stared back at me.  Although I immediately wanted to remove it, I decided to leave it on for a little while thinking I needed  re-acclimate myself with it only to discover that the longer I left it on, the more unnatural it became.  This mock face no longer defined my look....I had changed my definition of beauty.  It was time to remove the mask.  It seemed to take longer to remove than it was to put on.   As soon as I washed my face, I felt liberated, refreshed, and "clean".  At that point, I decided that I would shoot the photo session au naturale, in my truth with a clean scrubbed face.  This exercise led me to ponder what else in my life have I covered with old thoughts and old methods.  What else needed unmasking?

Fears and Facades
When we embark into new territory, we sometimes fall back into old ways out of fear, creating a fabricated reinforcement, leading us to forget acknowledgment of the new ways that made us stronger and wiser. We must remember that we can use our new found strength to foster the power to project our truth, to remove our masks.  Many of us hide behind the mask of our responsibilities,  job titles, wealth or excuses creating a facade of competent falsehood to avoid facing that which we should face.  Other times, if we find challenge with our self-esteem or our freedoms, we conjure ourselves into alter-egos, super beings and larger than life entities to create a mask of security.  The main reason we create facades is fear of acceptance or fear of rejection.  This fear, whether acceptance or rejection, is one and the same.  Either way, by focusing on the unknown, we cultivate this fear.  Many of us live our entire lives never once thinking about removing our mask.  It makes a hard and difficult path for therein lies the problem.    

The Problem with Masks
Masks in and of themselves aren't a bad thing - they can be sometimes be whimsical, wild, adventurous, sexy,  playful, fun, exciting.  The problem is that masks are meant to be worn temporarily.  When forced to wear them every day, it becomes a distortion of true selves.  It is a hard and sad occasion living untrue each day.  When worn all the time, we fool ourselves that the unnatural image is more beautiful than our own.  How vulnerable one must feel when they remove their masks in private for regardless of what mask you wear, you have to take it off sometime.  You can't sleep in it, you can't bathe in it, you can't breathe in it, you can't heal in it.  You can't live artificial all of the time.  If you imagine a freedom without your mask, do you know that everything will be okay? Life is not meant to be lived dependent upon the acceptance or rejection of others.  Light and truth will attract truth and light.  Realize that:

One single light still shines bright ~Zhu Shuzhen

Who Are You?

Unmasked - I am Me

For me, the practice of Yoga and the transition to raw, whole, live foods helped me remove my masks.  Yes, "masks" plural.  I, like many others wore more than one mask.  When you first begin this process, you discover or "learn" who you really are.  It is an amazing and very enlightening feeling.   One-by-one I removed my masks and became settled and more comfortable walking the steps of  my "facade-less" path.  For the first time in my life,  I am unmasked... I "see" myself.  I have clear skin, clear mind, and clear focus.  I accept myself and my truths.  I no longer seek acceptance or fear rejection of others.   I do not wear foundation to mask my clear skin or who I am.  If I wear a little kohl on my eyes or gloss on my lips, it is a fun, temporary mask that I take off for days, or even weeks, at a time.  I am happy to wear my face just as it was given to me.. unmasked.  I now know who I am... I am "me".  "Who" are you?

Unmask Yourself
Take off whatever mask(s) you have been hiding behind whether you wear it everyday or just once in a while.  Face your fears.  You will be surprised.  For every rejection, there will be an acceptance, most often from where you least expect it.  Your path to revealing your true self doesn't have to be solitary.  If you are afraid, look in the mirror and admit to yourself that you are; this act is the first step to breaking down the wall you've been hiding behind.  Take the guidance or hand of the one light that shines bright, that attracts and accepts your light.  Confess your truth, ask for mask removal assistance. Break old ways and methods.  Wash off the fake foundations. Rejoice as it dissipates.  Feel and grow in your empowerment.  Embrace the beauty of your true, exposed, naked, self - become the real "you".

Letting Go

I just read a powerful  blog entry by my dear friend Susan. In it, she talks about her son's deployment and dealing with change that was not self-initiated.  She talks about letting go and transitioning into a new situation.  The article was very profound for me as I also saw her article as grounding.  It is hard to let go when uncertain that there is solid footing upon which to land.  Her experience is no different from my vegan one or from any adjustment you may be occurring.  The commonality is that when faced with any form of change whether warranted or unwarranted, it is up to each of us to recognize, as she puts it, the "curve balls which force us into the best possible opportunities" or as I like to say, "a chance to grow strong feet".

There are several things we can not change.  There are several surprises thrust upon us that we do not like.  There are several decisions we are forced to make.  What is your coping mechanism? How you do handle change -  Do you dig down deep accept change, or do you fight it?  Whether you do anything or not, change will still occur.  How you handle it, is up to you.

 "If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice".  
from the song "Freewill" ©1980, Rush

So make the choice!  It is better to look at yourself and how you handle changes.  Become grounded in who and what you are.  This will equip you to handle anticipated change and those unexpectedly thrust upon you.

Letting go as in above, means acceptance of the departure of a loved one.  Sometimes it means letting go of a way of doing things, and other times, it means letting go of those you need to say goodbye to. We are a selfish society.  When we love something, we think of our personal gratification and tend to hold on to it dearly.  In any relationship, albeit parent:child, friend:friend; partner:partner, caregiver:recipient, or spouse:spouse, many of us have probably heard that  "if you truly love someone, you have to find the strength to let them go".   In these situations, we muster the strength to express our love and do just that - let go.  But let's look at this more intimately - how you have ever applied this to your very being?   Do you love yourself enough to let go, to accept an opportunity for personal growth?  Every chance to change is a chance to exhibit the strength of your grounding and chance to experience progression.

Growth

Getting back to Susan.  My friend had to release her loved one, something no one wants to do.  Her love for him, however gave her the strength to liberate him, to accept the change in her life. A funny thing happens when you let go of your own personal desire and place the love of others first - you grow stronger.  This deep-core strength is courage exemplified.  Don't waste it.  Use it to challenge an internal growth and try something new.When you think about it, as you let go of one thing, innate habit naturally forces you to grasp another.  No one floats idly or aimlessly.  We all hold on to some "thing" at different intervals in our lives. As Susan musters the courage to let her son "grow", she also has let go, opening up and providing space for a growth of her own.  She has begun to use her new found courage to do something she always wanted to do:  complete a triathlon.  Growth doesn't have to be large on a global scale for growth is personal.  It can also be a small thing.

Handstands and Cheese

While I've experienced deep growth as a diligent worker towards personal alignment (Beaconing Light), I appreciate the small growth spurt increments along the way.  Prior to Yoga, I suffered from vertigo - an equilibrium imbalance.  Attacks would come and go unannounced.  It's an incapacitating and terrible condition of nausea, dizziness, and headache.  Since I started practicing, I have not experienced a single episode, however, the fear of falling or seriously injuring myself linger and haunt.  For that reason, I mentally shied away from poses that challenge this very thing.  In my comfort zone, I stayed in poses close to the ground.  My coach then challenges me to do a handstand.  I meditated, deciding to love my self enough to release my fear, to accept that I am changing and to become grounded in my growth.  I found the courage to try it. With a little help of the wall behind me, I accomplished this feat.  Sure, I'll need more practice to strengthen my hold, but the realization of being grounded by my hands instead of my feet is the true reward.  It is demonstrative of change.

Now for the cheese...prior to becoming vegan, cheese was the one thing I thought I enjoyed.  I knew it was not good for me but I ate it not caring for the lethargy that accompanied it.  I thought cheese and fermentation was a complex thing.  After transition, I did not like the  "vegan cheese alternatives".  Many contained animal by-products like casein and most of them are commercially processed.  In my new, raw, live-food world - cheese does not exist, or so I thought.  Live foodists eat cheeses made from nuts or seeds.  I decided to try to manufacture my own.  I felt grounded and secure enough in my new "non-cooking" to let go of previous notions.  I purchased some raw sunflowers seeds and "went for it":

Sunflower Seed Cheese

Raw sunflower seeds * nutritional yeast * garlic * sea salt

Soak sunflower seeds overnight, drain.  In a blender or food processor, grind drained seeds until smooth, add yeast, garlic and sea salt to taste.  Place mixture in a cheese cloth, 

squeeze out excess liquid, form into a ball.

It's a small and simple thing this cheese but it represents forward movement, education, and growth.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Everything.  True love of others allows you to let them go to discover and experience growth of their own.   True non-narcissistic "love of self" allows you to:

• find the strength and courage to try new things
• see yourself clearly and where you wish to go
• accept opportunity to improve and change
• establish challenge goals and use ability to achieve them

Define your loves, release, and discover your growth opportunities.  Use the strength of your new found courage to move forward, to change, to complete a triathlon, grow strong feet & hands, or just simply find a new way to make cheese.

Yoga:  Virabhadrasana II - Warrior 2

Named for the ancient warrior, Virabhadra, who, when called into battle, is overcome with fear.  The teachings of yoga "liberate" him, allowing him to let go, act with fierce courage and unwavering focus.

Warrior 2 is an anchored, grounded posture.  It is acknowledgement of past, letting go of trepidation, placing weight on feet with forward focus and movement, strong...ready for choice, ready for challenge, ready for change. 

Peaceful Transformation

Day 180 - Six months

Wow.  I awoke with an awestruck feeling of gratitude.  This day marked new beginnings, new friends, and new life.  It marked transition, trying, and transformation.  I am a new creature.  I am not the same person I was just 180 days ago.  I am amazed at the many new things I've learned and humbled by the massive amount of things yet to know.  With eagerness, I accept each new experience with encouragement, and I attempt to convey as much and as soon as I can.  As I reach, I teach, as I share, I care.

Dis-claimer

The prefix "dis" is often has a negative association as it generally means "not".  In this case, I would state that I am not a health professional, dietitian, nutritionist, fitness trainer, guru, or chef.  I do not profess to have the knowledge to cure illness, foster weight loss, or prolong life.  In fact, I recommend that individuals consult a professional and obtain a mentor/coach to guide their path with a healthy focus.  Sometimes, however, "dis" can be associated with a positive spin as it is the opposite of a negative connotation, for example: "disinfect".   While I can not promise a miracle fix, I can share my experience and my transformation in hopes that this choice will disengage negative feedback, enable discussion of discoveries, distribution, disclosure and display that as I discard, past ways will disappear, so too will dys-function, dis-ease and dis-ability.

Recognizing Change - relationship of  Yoga and Veganism

Yoga and Veganism
 Hand in Hand on one accord

I began this journey almost two years ago.   It had begun with "exercising", a little cardio, circuit training, and a some yoga.  Slowly, I found that I felt better after practicing yoga than after a strenuous workout. I started doing less of these exercises and more of yoga.  The more yoga I practiced, the more I began to realize that yoga is not exercise.   Yoga is a means to bring your mind, body, spirit, and soul into one accord with peace and tranquility.  I had begun to change.  The more I disconnected with traditional physical movement, the more cleansed I felt.  This lead to more and more dislike of things I knew were not good for my body.   Six months ago, after a year of enjoying the benefits of yoga practice, the realization of the need to review the food consumed  just swept over me like a wave.  With an intensity, it suddenly became important to understand that this transformation was not just a physical adjustment, but a mental and spiritual one as well - thus, becoming vegan.  Acknowledging this change is not a major revelation but more of a natural progression.  The link between Yoga and Veganism is as old as the practice of yoga itself.  If  in yoga, you are working toward a clean body, mind, and spirit, the wish would be to only place things in the body that would not contradict the practice.  The more yoga I practiced, the more desire I had to select foods that focused on healing, purifying, and of a pranic (quieting) nature.  My desire to eat anything of an animal origin had lessened.  I had begun a transformation naturally.  The decision to become vegan feels "right".  According to Pantanjali, the father of yoga, "the purpose of yoga is enlightenment, that one can not attain enlightenment through the harming of other beings (i.e. animals". Although we don't wish to think about it, consumption of flesh is a violent act.

Lokah Samasta Sukhino  Bahavantu

Emerge peacefully from your chrysalis and fly!

This mantra means " May all beings be happy and free and may the thoughts,  words and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and that freedom for all".  This mantra is the banner which represents the relationship between yoga and veganism.  Too often during these past short six months, I've been challenged, confronted, questioned, and forced to defend my eating habits.  Not many outside of my vegan circle have applauded or even complimented.  I realize that people are not personally attacking me, but rather, are experiencing their own fear of transformation.  In the leadership transformation book, "Flight of the Buffalo", authors James Belasco and Ralph Stayer state that:

"Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have -

 and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up". 

This is avoidable if the change is positive, natural, and in accordance with mind, body and soul.  Instead of anger, I feel compassion for those who attack, and I choose to feel happiness, to accept ayurvedic (holistic mind, body, and soul) approach. I challenge those afraid to emerge from their own personal chrysalis transformed,  new and fresh and to embody Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bahavantu.

"When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self preservation,

 we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness"- Jospeh Campbell

As I celebrate the end of my previous life and the beginning of  life anew, I am strengthened by peaceful transition as the gap between mind, body, spirit, and soul quietly closes and slowly continues to transform. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn, dis-cern, share, and grow.  May you all be happy and free.

Namaste.

Yoga:  Bridge Pose - Setu Bandha Sarvangasana

The bridge pose is a beginning backbend that strengthens the legs, hips, massages the spine, opens the heart.  According to The Capricious Yogi, "the purpose of this pose is more than a physical gesture.  Prior to posing, place hands in prayer position at the third eye and make an intention or dedication.  By combining your intentions with the of opening the heart and the strength of the back bend, the pose aligns or 'bridges' the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual within the body."
The bridge pose provides a slow, peaceful strength that allows transformation from one point to another.

Sad vs Glad?

I recently experienced a death which reminded me of my mother who passed away nine months ago and that of my father, six years ago.  It seems like eons since I lost them because I put it out of my mind.  This recent occurrence, however, brought everything back into painful focus.  It forces me to admit that my parents died of sadness.  Not sad in the traditional sense as my parents were two of the most wonderful, loving, chipper people I know...but sad in the food sense.  My parents fell prey to S.A.D. which stands for the Standard American Diet.

SAD

According to renowned pediatrician, Dr. William Sears, the standard american diet has everything that lead to just about any illness as it is:

• High in animal fats
• High in unhealthy fats: saturated, hydrogenated
• Low in fiber
• High in processed foods
• Low in complex carbohydrates
• Low in plant-based foods

Dr. Sears goes on to state that "the striking fact is that cultures that eat the reverse of SAD have lower incidence of disease and that the United States has spent more money on cancer research than any other country in the world yet the American diet contributes to the very diseases we are spending money to prevent".

Unfortunately, years of poor choices led to diet selections that ultimately claimed the quality and quantity of the lives of my parents.  I am now witnessing second and third generation family members beginning to suffer.  This history puts me at high risk diabetes, COPD(Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease),  heart failure, hypertension, cancer and stroke.  High risk if I choose it.  As much as it pains me to say, I must declare and speak this truth, "I am not my parent's daughter".  In order to leave a different health legacy for my children, I must lead by example, teach them, and show them a life away from sadness.  I choose not to be sad.  I choose to be glad.  I choose to educate, eat and change the quality of my life and that of those who choose to join me.

Be Happy....Be Glad

I've coined my own acronym.  I've chosen to be GLAD by consuming a plant based diet:

Growing   Living   Alternative   Diet

I pondered whether to use the word "amazing" or "alternative".  Although it really is amazing, the word "alternative"  seems better suited because it emphasizes the conscious choice it takes to reject sadness.  Most people do not wake up every morning ready to be sad.  I believe people genuinely want to be happy...they just don't know how.

Education is key.  Each of us must be willing to re-educate ourselves in order to redefine our definition of food in order to be glad.   For educational sources, look to those who have successfully done it!  One favorite example is Phillip McCluskey, a motivational speaker, author, and owner of http://www.lovingraw.com, who changed his life from SAD to GLAD raw foods diet, losing 215 pounds improving both the quality and quantity of his life by just starting with simple education.  He now teaches and has several books to help educate others.  Another source is to just look at the vegan pyramid versus the sad one.  The side by side visual alone is a simple education in and of itself.  Just follow the pictures:

Finally, just ask.  Our pride, arrogance, or ignorance sometimes prohibit us from seeking assistance or guidance.  Get a coach or mentor!  I recently had the pleasure of meeting one brave soul, Angela who made the decision last week to let go of her sadness and embrace a lifestyle change to improve the quality of her life.  She sought out the help of a friend who is guiding her through her first juice fast and will help coach her to a life away from disease.  I applaud and admire her courage and strength.  All she did was ask.

Today, I thank my parents.  They sacrificed, worked hard, and gave me a wonderful, loving life. I am appreciative of their life lessons as they taught me all that they knew and for that, I am a better person.  In their deaths, they continue to teach as they have also taught me what not to do - that the choices I personally make will determine the quality of my life. Think and make your choice - will your life from this point on be  happy or sad?

Yoga:  Lotus Pose
The lotus pose is the most common posture people visualize when someone asks them to think of yoga.  It is also the pose used to calm the body prior to meditation.  Most practices begin or end with the lotus pose.

The purpose of the pose is to bring union of mind, body, and soul for it helps maintain proper posture, spinal alignment, and facilitate deep meditative breathing.


Considered one of the most sacred symbols, the lotus flower grows in muddy water and rises to the surface each day with beauty.  It represents honor, health, and long life. 

Namaste.

Acceptance

I had begun to write this post with about a quarter done when,  I accidentally deleted everything I had written. Of course, I was frustrated and exasperated.  Unfortunately, I could not retrieve it and there was nothing I could do.    The situation reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" ~Theodore Roosevelt

Thinking about it caused me to alter my subject matter.  This statement is about acceptance.   It makes you realize that sometimes, you have to just accept yourself, your standing, and your current status.  A few synonyms for acceptance are: consent, assume, consume, bear, learn, admit, be.  Acceptance forces us to peer into the mirror and honestly look at what we see to discover our truths:

Can you accept what you see?

          Truth 1: I am weak

          Truth 2: I am strong.

          Truth 3: I am old.

          Truth 4: I am young.

          Truth 5: Sometimes, in one instance, I am all of the
                       above and sometimes none.

We all possess the strength needed to pull through weak points, and each of us are old pros at some things while young novices at others.   Too often, we tend to overlook and seek false acknowledgment.  The problem is that the image we project isn't always the one in the mirror.    In order to seek truthful acceptance from others, you must first accept as-is; complete with deletions, frustrations, exasperations and start overs.  The ability to identify, acknowledge and "see" each truth clearly for what it is and what it offers is the first step to self reception.

Through any journey, acceptance will help you decipher your vulnerabilities (weakness) and teach you how to make adjustment and/or improvement accordingly (strength).   It is the catalyst to break or change your paradigms (oldness) and to venture forth with new meaning (youth).

Paradigm Shift

I thought about my relationship with a words and how some definitions have changed for me since I began this transition so I decided to have a little fun with a few:

Mael (vampire) or Meal?
Meanings change when paradigms shift

Non-Vegan to Non-Vegan        Non-Vegan to Vegan            Vegan to Vegan

          fowl:foul                             piece:peace                slight(not much):sleight (skill)*  
         burgher:burger                     meat:meet                                   affect:effect

          whale:wail                          gored:gourd                                route:root   
          yoke:yolk                           beat:beet                                    serial:cereal
          yack:yak                            lessen:lesson                               whey:way (path)
          worst:wurst                        chews:choose                     cede(give up meat):seed*
          mussel:muscle                     preys:praise                                site:sight
          locks:lox                             roe:row                                       current:currant
          awful:offal (entrails)            charred:chard                               flour:flower
          stake:steak                         paws:pause                                  knead:need 
          vein:vain                             doe:dough                                    maze:maize
          bate:bait                             pistol:pistil (seed bearer)               recede:reseed
          flea:flee                               tongue:tung (tree)                         peal:peel
          lamb:lam                    quints(multiple births):quince(fruit)         use:yews(trees)
          hart:heart         leech (blood sucker) : leach (wash away)*      pare:pear                  

* =  my favorites

Breaking Through

Having fun and not taking things so seriously helps break the images we've engraved in our heads.  How many times have we heard the saying, "What's old is new again?"  or how about "Recycle, Renew, Re-use? ".  When you recycle, you generally use the old material in a new way.  It is amazing when you look at something you have always possessed and see something new just by changing how you view it.  When things that sounded the same now have a different meaning or perspective, congratulations!  You have experienced growth and understanding.  You have shifted your paradigm. It is called a "break-through". So, in retrospect, perhaps the subject I was to write about would be better suited for another place and time.  Perhaps, the lesson here was to teach "welcoming of self"  for I,  like many, tend to be my own worst enemy - punishing myself unrealistically for something  falsely judged as "not enough".  Let go of your stubbornness, learn that acceptance doesn't mean giving up or in.  It is reception with sagaciousness, of  what is, as is, where is. The next time you delete something you've working on...start again.  You may need to learn a lesson, move in another direction, or look at something differently.

Place a lien on negativity and failure; learn to lean on the positive success of redefining old meanings. Lighten up, have a little fun and be happy with the image in the mirror.

crow pose

Yoga:  Crow Pose 
The purpose of the crow pose is to develop mental tranquility; it teaches acceptance of self.  Everyone falls when learning this pose.  It enables you to lean, to depend upon your personal core strength and your ability to balance. You have to learn to lift up one foot at a time and slowly feel how far you can go at that particular moment.  While practicing the pose,  you must literally look forward - you quickly learn that if you let your head drop or lean to quickly, you will lose balance and will fall on your face.  When trying Crow Pose, change your definition of strength and weakness, accept what you can do, as you are, where you are, and gradually work towards your goal.  

Namaste.