Unmasking

Last week I posed for my first professional photo shoot.  In anticipation of the event, I purchased a make-up foundation for my face.  It is a cosmetic that conceals imperfection and evens complexion tone.  It is artificial. I was quite familiar with this application as I used to wear it daily.  It is called foundation as it is the base upon which additional makeup is added.  The night before my shoot, I put on a "full face" makeup with all of the cosmetics usually applied for "the camera".  As a former modeling student, I was taught how to "properly" apply the products on my face.  When I looked in the mirror at the "finished look", I no longer saw myself.   Instead, I saw the mask I had created.  It was an epiphany.  It was not me.  I had changed. The makeup mask no longer represented a look of beauty.  For the past two years, I have been walking this personal journey of truth seeking and could not find any truth in the caricature that stared back at me.  Although I immediately wanted to remove it, I decided to leave it on for a little while thinking I needed  re-acclimate myself with it only to discover that the longer I left it on, the more unnatural it became.  This mock face no longer defined my look....I had changed my definition of beauty.  It was time to remove the mask.  It seemed to take longer to remove than it was to put on.   As soon as I washed my face, I felt liberated, refreshed, and "clean".  At that point, I decided that I would shoot the photo session au naturale, in my truth with a clean scrubbed face.  This exercise led me to ponder what else in my life have I covered with old thoughts and old methods.  What else needed unmasking?

Fears and Facades
When we embark into new territory, we sometimes fall back into old ways out of fear, creating a fabricated reinforcement, leading us to forget acknowledgment of the new ways that made us stronger and wiser. We must remember that we can use our new found strength to foster the power to project our truth, to remove our masks.  Many of us hide behind the mask of our responsibilities,  job titles, wealth or excuses creating a facade of competent falsehood to avoid facing that which we should face.  Other times, if we find challenge with our self-esteem or our freedoms, we conjure ourselves into alter-egos, super beings and larger than life entities to create a mask of security.  The main reason we create facades is fear of acceptance or fear of rejection.  This fear, whether acceptance or rejection, is one and the same.  Either way, by focusing on the unknown, we cultivate this fear.  Many of us live our entire lives never once thinking about removing our mask.  It makes a hard and difficult path for therein lies the problem.    

The Problem with Masks
Masks in and of themselves aren't a bad thing - they can be sometimes be whimsical, wild, adventurous, sexy,  playful, fun, exciting.  The problem is that masks are meant to be worn temporarily.  When forced to wear them every day, it becomes a distortion of true selves.  It is a hard and sad occasion living untrue each day.  When worn all the time, we fool ourselves that the unnatural image is more beautiful than our own.  How vulnerable one must feel when they remove their masks in private for regardless of what mask you wear, you have to take it off sometime.  You can't sleep in it, you can't bathe in it, you can't breathe in it, you can't heal in it.  You can't live artificial all of the time.  If you imagine a freedom without your mask, do you know that everything will be okay? Life is not meant to be lived dependent upon the acceptance or rejection of others.  Light and truth will attract truth and light.  Realize that:

One single light still shines bright ~Zhu Shuzhen

Who Are You?

Unmasked - I am Me

For me, the practice of Yoga and the transition to raw, whole, live foods helped me remove my masks.  Yes, "masks" plural.  I, like many others wore more than one mask.  When you first begin this process, you discover or "learn" who you really are.  It is an amazing and very enlightening feeling.   One-by-one I removed my masks and became settled and more comfortable walking the steps of  my "facade-less" path.  For the first time in my life,  I am unmasked... I "see" myself.  I have clear skin, clear mind, and clear focus.  I accept myself and my truths.  I no longer seek acceptance or fear rejection of others.   I do not wear foundation to mask my clear skin or who I am.  If I wear a little kohl on my eyes or gloss on my lips, it is a fun, temporary mask that I take off for days, or even weeks, at a time.  I am happy to wear my face just as it was given to me.. unmasked.  I now know who I am... I am "me".  "Who" are you?

Unmask Yourself
Take off whatever mask(s) you have been hiding behind whether you wear it everyday or just once in a while.  Face your fears.  You will be surprised.  For every rejection, there will be an acceptance, most often from where you least expect it.  Your path to revealing your true self doesn't have to be solitary.  If you are afraid, look in the mirror and admit to yourself that you are; this act is the first step to breaking down the wall you've been hiding behind.  Take the guidance or hand of the one light that shines bright, that attracts and accepts your light.  Confess your truth, ask for mask removal assistance. Break old ways and methods.  Wash off the fake foundations. Rejoice as it dissipates.  Feel and grow in your empowerment.  Embrace the beauty of your true, exposed, naked, self - become the real "you".

The Power of Will

This past month, I have been struggling with the will to rise each morning with focus on a newly established physically demanding workout regiment.  While I readily enjoyed the results of an arduous workout, I realize that I had been viewing it as a formidable task. The challenge I created for myself left me no longer able to enjoy the training.  The issue lies in the will to initiate the process as I found that I was forcing work that I perhaps needed to view differently.  This realization came surprisingly when I received an observation from someone after I expressed gratitude to a friend for the motivational boost to workout despite lack of enthusiasm.  He mentioned that although I received a push to move, in the end it was still up to me to do it. It was an eye opening moment that I was grateful for.  It was the shove instead of push that I needed.   He was correct.  No matter what inspiration you receive, it is still up to you and you alone to muster the power of will to achieve anything that you seek to do - no one or no thing can do it for you.


Problem with Perfection

This "aha moment" led to a personal examination of why I felt so compelled to do all and "be all".  The answer was simple.  I was seeking perfection, wanting too much too fast, and becoming impatient.  I had forgotten my yoga training of self acceptance in the moment, as you are, where you are. I wanted the results of such a workout to be evident immediately instead of taking the time to build toward the goal.  I was mentally  and unrealistically imposing someone else's definition of  "success" over a picture of myself.  Therein lies the problem with perfection.  When you strive and push yourself too hard towards someone else's goal, you will burn out, crash and fail, achieving nothing even close to your original objective.  Humbled by the truth of this reality check, I started over with clear focus.

The Will to Live

During this will power challenge, I was fortunate to view the movie, "A Single Man".  The movie was about life, that despite all we may do to self destruct or move toward the alternative, when faced with it, most of us fight with frenzied passion to survive, exercising a tremendous innate force - exerting the will to live.  I was so moved by the ability we all possess to breathe the breath we breathe.  When faced with the possibility not being able to do so, we will ourselves to the very end to cling onto it yet, we take it for granted, focusing on things not at all important in the grand scheme.  It is the during the quiet time when we are alone with ourselves, in the small instance when we think about these things and make the effort to exert the will to live is when we are most powerful. It is that instance which struck me with awe and moved me to tears. I came to the understanding that, will power is but a mechanism to demonstrate the will to live.
It is very humbling and reminds us to get rid of artificial goals, deadlines, and New Year's resolutions...be grateful for simple things, be grateful for who you are, be grateful for where you are, be grateful for what you can do.

Lifting Weights

All of this started as I had created a weight lifting and muscle toning regimen for myself.  Trying to do all each day. As I mentally cleansed, I began to lift the "weight" of feeling that I had to work until exhaustion.   I was able to think clearly and obtain a new focus with a realistic plan -a plan just for me.  It was time to "recoup, regroup, and restart".  Ahhh....what a beautiful exhalation.  The first step I took was to stop "wearing", trying to "fit" other people's goals and began to wear my own, changing the paradym of what "success" looked like for me.

When you think of lifting weights, you think of moving or manipulating something heavy.  In this instance, as I physically lifted the weight of the bench press or dumbbells, I changed my thought process from negative to positive as each weight lifted is also the lifting of the burden of not wanting to do that which would benefit me, to learn to appreciate what is best for me.  It is acceptance of what I can lift right now, today, at this moment with the understanding that as I do what I can in this instance, I will grow stronger and perhaps tomorrow, I will be able to lift more for a little longer.  Whether I will be able to do more is not important.  The key is recognizing that I, along with each of you possess the will and the power to do whatever it is we are doing in the present moment and that each of us have the capability to generate the fuel to do the very same tomorrow.

It is only at the end of a task will you be able to determine if you are able to do more.  So instead of biting off more than you can chew, accept what is in your mouth today and savor the flavor with gratitude.  If you are fortunate and have an opportunity to take a second bite then do so.

"It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise" 

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you realistically establish your goal for what you can do within the moment, you soon will discover that in time, you will you have advanced far more quickly than you would have if you remained focused on outcome.  Instead, accomplish one step at a time as each step will eventually deliver the overall objective. Slow and steady wins the race.  Taking small increments will ensure goals are realistic and obtainable. Use will power to address each step with the enthusiasm of the will to live.    This revelation has opened my eyes, lifting the weight of the albatross I had hung around my neck, freeing my power, releasing my will.  With new found fervor and renewed power of  will, I awake happy for the present day with passion to climb just the one step I will climb today knowing that each day as I climb this one step, I am one step higher than the day before and one step closer to the step for tomorrow.



Yoga:  Balasana -  Child's Pose

In gratitude for reality checks and restoration of self-truth, Balasana or child's pose. In yoga, the child's pose is a rest between challenging postures.  It humbles, cleanses, calms breathing, settles the mind and the body.  The child's post is an exhaling opportunity for respite, providing the balance and gravity necessary to facilitate the ability to take one step at a time.


Namaste.

Affirmation

 I recently participated in a Mindful Movement Yoga Retreat under the tutelage of my dear friend Jen.  The objective of the retreat was re-establishment of roots, grounding, and realization of self.  One component of this empowering experience that struck a deep somber chord within me was Affirmation.  I've briefly touched upon it before but I don't think I realized how important it really is.  Let's break it down - according to several dictionaries, Affirmation is :

•  to declare as a fact
• to make a declaration with solemn resolve
• to maintain as true; to tell with confidence.....

        solemn - deeply earnest sobriety

        resolve - get, consume, receive, own, ingest

Thus, an affirmation is ownership of your path.  It is true acknowledgement of what, when, why, and how you are, it is declaration of who you are.

Self -Fulfilling Prophecy

We must recognize that affirmation is a serious matter.  We must remember to be careful to how we use our words for the things we say, we believe.  Things we believe, we affirm, even in jest.  How many times have you said or heard someone say, "Oh, this will be the death of me", "You make me sick", "For the life of me I can't...". Oh, I'm such a failure, idiot, klutz, fool, etc"?  We need to choose our words and thoughts wisely for what we think and say will surely become our truths, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care..." ~Buddha

In a previous post, I wrote about looking into self acceptance, about how your actions change when you realize you will not fail. Affirmation allows you to do anything you set out to do, to look into your mirror to speak your truth with confidence.  I realize now that is only a part of the equation.  The other, crucial piece is thinking.  What and how we think is just as important as what we say and do,  for our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions. We must therefore remove those seemingly innocent negative sayings from our thoughts.  For example, why should you be upset when you fail a tough exam when all you said while studying was "Oh, I'll never understand this"?  In this example, you have fulfilled your prophecy and managed to block the flow of positive energy.

Being Mindful

During the retreat, I began to focus on the title "Mindful Movement".  For me it meant small, intimate practice.  While this was true, I've come to the realization that it was also about thought processes and true connections.  Yogini Jen led us in an exercise of self love by giving us an elementary introduction of foot reflexology.  We learned about the different points of the feet and how each point corresponds to a particular organ within the body.  As we practiced techniques massaging the "soles" of our feet, we were learning to be mindful of them, the base of our rooting, the base of our "souls".  We meditated, flowing into affirmation with the focus shifting to being mindful and moving in our thoughts.  The asana and vegan lunch taught us to be mindful of our bodies. Thus, we practiced Yoga, uniting of body, mind, and soul.

As I returned home, I thought, what does is mean to be mindful in thought? It is different for each of us.  Although it's personal and germane to our individuality, regardless of our different acclimation, one thing rings true for each of us, to take heed to choose powerful, action words for they shall become our destiny.   In any high school or university writing course, you are penalized for writing passively.  Use of phrases from the verb pattern "to be" confuses the reader about the subject of the sentence. You are taught and rewarded when you use action words or are more specific.  Therefore, be specific in your affirmation. Do not be afraid to state exactly who you are and what you want.  Let the affirmation examples posted on this page be examples of the  beginning of the sentence you complete for yourself.  Think and affirm in the same manner with positive intention even if you are yet to accomplish a feat.   For example:

"I climb mountains"

Whether you've scaled Mt. Fuji or made it to the top of the small dirt hill in the backyard, is not the action the same once you take that first step, lifting your foot upon the soil?  The person in each instance started at the same point with the same objective.  Think about the statement, 

"Begin with the end in mind" 

(The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People).  

What does it mean to you?  

Try this yogic exercise:

Stop, be still and sit quietly in meditation.  Close your eyes, visualize yourself positively successful in the place or state of  existence you wish.  Realize the influence your thoughts have over your actions and the effect your actions have on your mind, body, and soul.  With this in mind, speak your affirmation out loud, with truth. Absorb and feel good about it...your success awaits you.

Sat Nam

 (Truth is thy name)

Acceptance

I had begun to write this post with about a quarter done when,  I accidentally deleted everything I had written. Of course, I was frustrated and exasperated.  Unfortunately, I could not retrieve it and there was nothing I could do.    The situation reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" ~Theodore Roosevelt

Thinking about it caused me to alter my subject matter.  This statement is about acceptance.   It makes you realize that sometimes, you have to just accept yourself, your standing, and your current status.  A few synonyms for acceptance are: consent, assume, consume, bear, learn, admit, be.  Acceptance forces us to peer into the mirror and honestly look at what we see to discover our truths:

Can you accept what you see?

          Truth 1: I am weak

          Truth 2: I am strong.

          Truth 3: I am old.

          Truth 4: I am young.

          Truth 5: Sometimes, in one instance, I am all of the
                       above and sometimes none.

We all possess the strength needed to pull through weak points, and each of us are old pros at some things while young novices at others.   Too often, we tend to overlook and seek false acknowledgment.  The problem is that the image we project isn't always the one in the mirror.    In order to seek truthful acceptance from others, you must first accept as-is; complete with deletions, frustrations, exasperations and start overs.  The ability to identify, acknowledge and "see" each truth clearly for what it is and what it offers is the first step to self reception.

Through any journey, acceptance will help you decipher your vulnerabilities (weakness) and teach you how to make adjustment and/or improvement accordingly (strength).   It is the catalyst to break or change your paradigms (oldness) and to venture forth with new meaning (youth).

Paradigm Shift

I thought about my relationship with a words and how some definitions have changed for me since I began this transition so I decided to have a little fun with a few:

Mael (vampire) or Meal?
Meanings change when paradigms shift

Non-Vegan to Non-Vegan        Non-Vegan to Vegan            Vegan to Vegan

          fowl:foul                             piece:peace                slight(not much):sleight (skill)*  
         burgher:burger                     meat:meet                                   affect:effect

          whale:wail                          gored:gourd                                route:root   
          yoke:yolk                           beat:beet                                    serial:cereal
          yack:yak                            lessen:lesson                               whey:way (path)
          worst:wurst                        chews:choose                     cede(give up meat):seed*
          mussel:muscle                     preys:praise                                site:sight
          locks:lox                             roe:row                                       current:currant
          awful:offal (entrails)            charred:chard                               flour:flower
          stake:steak                         paws:pause                                  knead:need 
          vein:vain                             doe:dough                                    maze:maize
          bate:bait                             pistol:pistil (seed bearer)               recede:reseed
          flea:flee                               tongue:tung (tree)                         peal:peel
          lamb:lam                    quints(multiple births):quince(fruit)         use:yews(trees)
          hart:heart         leech (blood sucker) : leach (wash away)*      pare:pear                  

* =  my favorites

Breaking Through

Having fun and not taking things so seriously helps break the images we've engraved in our heads.  How many times have we heard the saying, "What's old is new again?"  or how about "Recycle, Renew, Re-use? ".  When you recycle, you generally use the old material in a new way.  It is amazing when you look at something you have always possessed and see something new just by changing how you view it.  When things that sounded the same now have a different meaning or perspective, congratulations!  You have experienced growth and understanding.  You have shifted your paradigm. It is called a "break-through". So, in retrospect, perhaps the subject I was to write about would be better suited for another place and time.  Perhaps, the lesson here was to teach "welcoming of self"  for I,  like many, tend to be my own worst enemy - punishing myself unrealistically for something  falsely judged as "not enough".  Let go of your stubbornness, learn that acceptance doesn't mean giving up or in.  It is reception with sagaciousness, of  what is, as is, where is. The next time you delete something you've working on...start again.  You may need to learn a lesson, move in another direction, or look at something differently.

Place a lien on negativity and failure; learn to lean on the positive success of redefining old meanings. Lighten up, have a little fun and be happy with the image in the mirror.

crow pose

Yoga:  Crow Pose 
The purpose of the crow pose is to develop mental tranquility; it teaches acceptance of self.  Everyone falls when learning this pose.  It enables you to lean, to depend upon your personal core strength and your ability to balance. You have to learn to lift up one foot at a time and slowly feel how far you can go at that particular moment.  While practicing the pose,  you must literally look forward - you quickly learn that if you let your head drop or lean to quickly, you will lose balance and will fall on your face.  When trying Crow Pose, change your definition of strength and weakness, accept what you can do, as you are, where you are, and gradually work towards your goal.  

Namaste.