Essence

Essence, by definition is the basic, real, invariable inward nature, substance or constitution of any "thing". In elementary terms, it means, what are you made of?  The more I learn about living clean, the more I pondered the word "essence" and its meaning which has led to an increased desire to continue learning.  When I started this journey, my intention all along has been to live with a clean mind, body and soul.  I now am at the place where I ponder what is my essence, what am I made of?  This has become a walk not just about eating.

All the Way
It is now about going all the way.  It is about discovering who and what you are and finding balance within.  I have found true balance through yoga, meditation, and veganism.  It swirls within me:

My Essence and formula for success. What is yours?                

Yoga.........body & mind
Meditation........mind & soul
Veganism...................soul & body

I have found my essence which feeds my mind and soul and ultimately my body.  It is my formula for success.    It is my grounding and a happy cycle that overlaps each continuously as I work steadily towards going all the way. Looking at the word essence again, I found it also has a second meaning:  a substance obtained from a plant.  Ah-ha!  That is the answer I was seeking.  In order to go all the way, the logical next step is to begin looking, from a plant-based perspective, not only at what put in my body,  but also about what I put on it and what it is surrounded by.

Research
After my ah-ha moment, I began researching natural, plant-based alternatives for everyday products such as toothpaste, deordorant, soaps, detergents, and remedies.  Within two weeks of this decision, an opportunity to conduct a product review for a natural, raw vegan company flowed across my path.  I found this to be no accident.  I had previously received solicitation to look a products that did not align with my objectives and I had respectfully turned each down.  This time was different.  The facilitator did not contact me directly.  She made a simple, humble request available to anyone who wished to participate freely.  This time, with no prior knowledge of her products, I felt an urging to try it out.  As I began to research the company she represented, everything began to align.  Once I spoke with her,  Lacey Swartz, I found a sincerity in her desire to provide natural products for her family which led her to become a representative for the company Miessence

I discovered that the company Miessence (pronounced "my-essence") proudly touts itself as the "world's first certified 100% organic company with products ranging from skin, hair, body, nutritional, and cosmetic  products."  It's logo is the "heart-shaped leaf of the bodhi tree, symbolizing wisdom, unity, prosperity and longevity".  This information felt good.  I felt comfortable to delve a little further.

Trying it Out

Of the choices, I  immediately decided try out the Deep Green Alkalising Superfood because it is a 100% raw, vegan, certified organic and an alkalizing product. Alkalization of the body fights dis-ease and wards off illness from a cellular level.  This product turned out to be my favorite of the two I tried.  I am sure my love of dark green leafy vegetables biased this opinion.  The product is as its name suggests - it is a deep rich green powder comprised of 12 ingredients including blue-green algae (spirulina), spinach, kale, and parsley.  The powder can be used by the teaspoon to make super juice or smoothie as well as a "seasoning" to boost dishes.

I first used it with a kale juice, adding one teaspoon.  The powder thickened the juice yet its earthy taste softened the strong flavor of the kale.  I found it to be tasty.  Lacey provided a cleansing recipe in which you juice 1 lemon and add 3 teaspoons of Deep Green to 4 cups (or 1 liter) of water three times per day for three days.
Pros:
* Ideal for those who do not eat deep green leafy vegetables

* Algae is a source of B12  and iron

* Has sources of Vitamin E, K, and beta-carotene

* Product is versatile, can be used in many ways 

Cons:
* Contains grasses including oat and wheat
* Price is a little costly, however, see it as an investment
* Be aware that this is a supplement, not meal replacement

This aside, I recommend the product.  For those interested in the grass aspect, the company states that they use "only grass juice powders, not the pulverized grass powders that are completely useless for humans!"  Just making a quick juice is ideal for those who find it difficult to eat at least 5-7 servings of vegetables per day on a regular basis.  I also used the product to make a salad dressing (1 teaspoon Deep Green, 1 pureed zucchini and 1 pureed cucumber) and a tasty dish consisting of  1 cup shredded carrots or pulp, 1 diced avocado.

The other product I sampled was the Berry Radical Antioxidant Superfood.  Initially, I was a little skeptical after I immediately noticed it contained raw cacao.  While true raw cacao

can be consumed on a raw vegan diet, generally is not found in its true state.  Most companies which claim naturalness usually offer a processed version.  Lacey checked with the Miessence creator to confirm the true 100% raw vegan nature of the cacao used in this product.  So, with that in mind, I tried it on faith of her word.  I made a chocolate mousse and ice cream.  It was delicious!


Mousse                                  Ice Cream                
3 plantains                             6 bananas                
2 bananas                              2 teaspoons Berry Radical
3 tsp Berry Radicals              1/4 cup pureed strawberries
For each:  Freeze bananas and plaintains overnight.  In a food processor or blender, whip bananas and plantains.  Mix in additional ingredients according to recipe.  For Ice Cream: serve immediately;  For Mousse:  prior to serving, let sit 20 - 30 minutes allowing it to thicken to "mousse" consistency cording to recipe.  
Pros:
* includes superfoods such as pomegranate, acai, goji, and blueberries
* antioxidants neutralize free radicals which damage cells
Cons:
* raw cacao
* coffee fruit (fruit of coffee plant which in raw form has potential to go rancid)

The cons are more of a personal taste and objective as these are things I do not normally consume.  That aside, I found the overall taste of the product to be more "chocolate" than "berry" which makes it, in my opinion, more feasible to use or blend into dessert recipes or smoothies.

Next Steps
This exercise has rewardingly reinforced my path. I am excited to discover who I am by trying new things. I have found that there are products, companies, and organizations which strive to feel, see, and just "are" the way I "am".  I started with internal consumption.  These next steps, however, will facilitate going all the way with external products as well. In time, and through research,  I will continue to meet more and more Laceys* of the world.  As I evolve, I work grounded with confidence, knowing what I'm about is in tune, with my essence.  For this, I am grateful.  Namaste.

* If you have questions or are interested in more information regarding Miessence products, please contact:   

                    Lacey Swartz

                    Independent Representative, Miessence

                    email: laceyswartz@verizon.net
               store: kvorganics.miessence.com
               blog:  www.kvorganics.com

           

Yoga - Muladhara,  Root Chakra

Janu Sirsasana (head to knee) pose
one of many to open the Mulahara

The Muladhara is the base, first,  or root of the seven chakras recognized in the western world.  This chakra sits at the base of the spine and is the root of the physical body. It houses personal energy.  According to Yoganidhi.com, the muladhara "bestows breath and mind control, knowledge of the past, present and future." Practicing poses which open the Muladhara will stimulate alignment of body, mind and soul facilitating grounding, stability, and security which provides the ability to go all the way.  It represents awakening and essence. 

Losing Control

I have lost control.  This is a new feeling for me for I was always an "in control person".  I was always the one to be on top of affairs, run things, coordinate, orchestrate, conduct, facilitate, manage.  This proved very successful during my corporate years as I was rewarded and sought out because I could "make things happen" and "get things done".   I ran every aspect of my life and those in it with diligence. I easily managed  multi-million dollar budgets and several hundred employees in the same manner I orchestrated family trips and play dates.  I was always the "go to girl" for corporate projects, functions, baby showers, or weddings.  Everything always went off successfully.   I thought fast on my feet and always had a back up plan or alternative to ensure a final successful objective.  I recall how proud I was at the "astonishment" of other parents when I gave them a typed Agenda of Events for my son's 5 year birthday party.  It never dawned on me that their reaction may not have been in accolade of my "accomplishment".  I did not notice because my focus was centered on controlling the situation. It was important that I even dictated or at least influenced how others even thought of me and what I was doing.  I was always intent on controlling how I thought I appeared, not realizing that the tight, overbearing grip does not align nor appeal with a peaceful, zen-filled life.  It took a simple act of waste disposal to send me spiraling out of control with a blissful gratitude.

Throwing it all away

Last week, my area was scheduled for a long awaited disposal of yard waste and debris. After a long winter, it was great to clean up loose leaves, dead shrubs, and grass clippings.  As we are in the process of cutting down a dead tree, we had accumulated quite a bit of branches and twigs for disposal.  Since the pick up is not a regularly scheduled event, I had written it on the calendar a month in advance to ensure we would not miss  pick up.  Since my town has strict rules about when and what you can put out on the curb, to place the waste out the night before was not feasible. It was important to put things out first thing in the morning. All day prior to  pick up, I literally calculated how and why I would bound the branch bundles and determined where each would lay. I went to bed ready to get up to get things out bright and early.  When I awoke, I immediately prepared to go outside to start my task.   To my utter surprise, for the first time in years, I had slept longer than I wished to.  I immediately began to panic, feeling the control slip from my grasp.  My house was quiet.  My family had already left for the day.  I had missed their departure, something I had not ever done.  When I opened my front door ready to get back on track, lo and behold, to my utter surprise,  the waste was prepared and placed at the curb, ready for pick up.  My family had taken care of it.  No, they did not calculate  how, why or where to do it; nor did they "consult" with me, they just did it.  I went back in and sat down.  This simple act became an earth shattering revelation for me.  The objective was accomplished and I had nothing to do with it.  I had no control over it.  I had lost control and all was still standing.  With no control, I had just learned how  to rely and how to depend.

Dependence

When I started practicing yoga,  as I first began my vegan transition, I never hesitated to accept the assistance of others.  I naturally sought out others for help in areas I had no knowledge.  Perhaps the humility of the practice and the quieting of my mind allowed my heart become open to dependence.  In this instance, I came to the realization that you can not control that which you do not know and that is it okay not to know. I discovered a new found freedom in accepting the guidance and reliance of others, discovering that as I became more agile in poses and more knowledgeable in raw vegan consumption, I find I need not be in control, that things will eventually fall into place exactly where and as it should at the precise moment it is meant to occur.  Being present in the moment and acceptance of self "as-is" was wonderful in my yogic vegan life however it took the trash episode to break the grip of mental control I still maintained on everything outside of the vegan, yogic circle.  I am finally beginning to loosen up.

  

Loosening Up

In my past, the worst in the world that could ever happen would be to lose control.  The epiphany of last week has shown that loosing control is not a terrible thing at all.  It is something we all can do on a regular basis.  Loosen up and let it go. For in reality, you never were in control of others anyway.  You can't control other people or other things.  There is an arrogance somewhere hidden within the thought of being "controlling" that facilitates such thought.  Let it go.  Imagine an empty glass on an empty table.  Allow the glass to fill up slowly with water.  See the water fill the glass to the brim and feel the water spill over the sides onto table and run in all directions off of the edge.   Imagine yourself as the water.  Imagine  you filling up glass to the brim as you slowly begin to spill out in all directions, all over the place with no control...dispersed.   Instead of focusing on self, become so full of yourself that you have had enough, that you now must spill out into the unknown to spread and share that which you used to try to keep contained in the one glass on one table.  

As you lose grip of that which you held too tightly, let it go, as well as what others may think of you, of expectation, of objective if each is something that continues to keep you bound and wound around artificially created stresses and desires.   If your hands are in, on, and around everything, it is time.  Time to learn to look to see your true self.  Realize that a typed agenda for a "party" of 5-year olds is absurd.  Realize that attempting to manipulate your view upon others in an the attempt to influence their view of you is selfish and inconsiderate.  Stop, reflect, look through your trash for your "ah-ha" moment.  Realize that sometimes, it is okay to be out of control, to throw it all away, to accept dependence. Understand that you don't have to know or do everything, to touch everyone, or to always be in control.  Accept that through meditation and breath, you can let your mind drift to free your spirit, releasing the grasps and tensions that kept you up on your toes, holding up shoulders, eyebrows, hair, heart rates, agendas and schedules.  Know that when you return to your physical state, you will see just as I have, that the earth is still rotating on its axis, that objectives were met, that others helped and that everything is fine, just as it should be.

Yoga - Partner Poses

When practicing yoga with a partner, one practices dependence as the full benefit of the posture can not be realized without release of personal control.  Instead of focusing on "self", the focus is to be reliable to and to rely upon "other".  Partner poses provide deeper stretches, connectivity, challenge, and increased strength.  Partner practice facilitates awareness of letting go of control, letting go of self, and encourages reliance, bonding, sharing,  and awareness.  

Leaping

Today is February 29th.  It is a leap year. As we all know it comes once every four years. It is reason enough for many to do something they have never done before, to break with tradition.  The purpose of leap year is to adjust our perception of time in tune with nature.  It was meant to help farmers plant crops appropriately.  In modern history, leap year has been associated with doing something unconventional, for example, "Sadie Hawkins Day" in which women propose marriage to men instead of the other way around.  While the idea of doing something different on a day that only comes around once every four years, sounds interesting, the concept is something we should adapt to our lives daily.

Carpe Diem - Seize the Day!

Every day can be Feb 29th.  Use each day to adjust, to adapt,  to become in balance with nature.   Don't wait for a specific time or a reason to seize the day.  Carpe diem baby - take a daily leap!  Each day can be an opportunity to do something jubilant and unconventional.  Get up, be silly, have some fun. Smile, laugh, be tickled for absolutely no reason at all.  Eat a treat that makes you feel good that is also good for you:

Raw Vegan Strawberry "Ice Cream"

4 frozen bananas or 2 frozen plantains

1 cup frozen strawberries

Chop and puree strawberries in a blender or food processor. Set aside.  Next, chop and puree the bananas/plantains in the same manner until thick 

             and smooth.  Add strawberries.  Blend well. 

                    Enjoy with a smile on your face.

As you can see, taking a daily leap doesn't have to be a complex task:

• Wear silly socks, a whimsical tie or your favorite cartoon character t-shirt under your business suit.  Remember you have it on in the middle of a meeting and mentally tickle yourself with a smile at the thought.
• Try skipping down the block or through the park every now and then.  When was the last time you did that?  Double your fun, bring a friend.
• Sing along with your favorite song out loud at the top of your lungs.
• Play a few of the games you played as a child.

After you've had some fun,  smile in gratitude for being able to remember how to experience innocent, personal amusement.  Be grateful for the courage to have taken a bold, high, strong leap, knowing that after you've experienced silliness, you will still safely be the same, competent (fill in the blank job description, duty, or responsibility) that you always were, just a little happier. 

Yoga:  Mandukasana - Frog Pose
Although there are more than one way to practice Mandukasana, each version helps tone the thigh muscles, opening the hip and abdominal regions, assisting the digestion process.  The frog pose strengthens the legs, providing full flexibility and the ability to....leap.

Starting...Again

"How do you start over?"  This question was presented after my last post regarding willpower.  "Do not start over", I replied, "Start again".

You see, there is a difference.  You can never really start over.  When you initiate any "thing", you do so with the knowledge you have acquired up to that point.  You make choices and decisions based upon it.  When you set out to re-initiate a task, you will do so with the history of your previous attempts in an effort to either recreate or avoid it depending on your perception of the results.

Starting over fosters failure, a missed opportunity, dream deferred, an objective not reached.  It is a negative reinforcement which focuses on the possibility of falling once more as it establishes a cycle of disappointment and let down.  If you failed initially, you will do so again.  This occurs when you think the same thoughts, using the same tools in the same manner toward the same goal.  Starting again produces a different outcome.  It is a positive approach as it acknowledges previous setback.  When you start again, you move along a path you may have traveled previously with knowledge of prior obstacles and the ability to make adjustment for them.  Even if you once again do not arrive where you wish to be, you still arrive that much closer.  In this instance, you will not face a brick wall, you instead face new possibility with additional data.  You will add this new information to the foundation you've already established.

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again"~Thomas  H. Palmer,1847

New found knowledge obtained through starting again allows you to correct mistakes and calculate a new formula for success. As I continue to learn how to live a low-fat raw vegan lifestyle, I find the need to restart "how" and what I eat.  Things I first thought suitable to consume are not so and have led me off of the path as they trigger cravings of food I need not partake or creates a void of those I should.  Here is a list of a few things I used at the beginning of this walk thinking it was "safe"  and healthy only to discover myself "back at start" after realizing that these things do not serve wellness nor beneficial consumption:

What I used to eat  and why I no longer eat them

apple cider vinegar is made from fermented apples.  All vinegar contain a diluted acetic acid which is poisonous in its natural form. Vinegar is not good for the kidneys, thyroid glands and produces mucous within the body.

olive oil  simple, Oil = fat. A waste of calories.  There is no need to add fat to your meals.  The total daily fat intake needed per day should not exceed 10% according to Dr Graham of the 80/10/10 Diet.  You can have a serving of nuts or seeds to obtain this objective naturally.

liquid amino acids contains a naturally forming high salt content that occurs during processing and glutamic acid which is the same chemical in MSG and is processed with hydrochloric acid in a procedure called hydrolization to separate and isolate the aminos.  I've learned that you can get the required aminos (protein) from eating a balanced whole fruit and vegetable diet.

agave nectar  concentrated  fructose (yes, even those that tout they are "natural or raw"). Because of its low glycemic index many think it is "healthy".   It is not.  It is simply,  processed sugar not much different than a tablespoon of refined white sugar.

soy  too many to tell. This link sums it all up http://www.foodrenegade.com/dangers-of-soy/

cacao  a stimulant derived from heating up and extracting the fermented result from the cacao bean pod.  In its natural form, it has an unpleasant taste and must be processed in order to produce the "chocolate" effect.  Cacao has some nutrients however it contains more toxins than nutrients

This is but a short list as I have also cut out many other things. The point however, is that the knowledge gained of how these things effect me enables me to propel myself forward should I find myself faltering.  This knowledge provides the "starting" point for the next leg of the journey.

Jumping Ahead

Each of these items landed me back at square one.  As I began again, I utilized the knowledge obtained previously to jump ahead, actually beginning at the last drop off

point instead of doing everything "over".  This method can be used for any initiative you seek to achieve whether it is weight lifting, eating raw vegan, or learning how to fly a kite.  I recently spoke with someone who admitted to me that they were not being honest when asked the question "How are you doing?".  This person would respond "Great".  Secretly, in silence, that was not the case.  In a need to "come clean" this individual confessed to me that they had indeed not been doing all that well.  After thanking this awesome human being for trusting me with their honesty, I informed that there was nothing wrong with their answer as sometimes the question is asked rhetorically, or as a gesture of politeness.   If this is the case, then the inquisitor really isn't looking for an answer.  When the person answered the question, everything in their life was not great however, a few components were.  Focusing on the positive aspects will help deal with the points in life that are not so great.  Sometimes the question is asked as a litmus test for your failure if the person asking is not in your corner.  In this instance, the answer would still be "great" since the objective is to steer away from negativity and to embrace that which is awesome in your life.   I am not advocating lying, I am advocating focus and communication of your positive truths in which to feel and express goodness.  This will always be true for no matter what you are in the midst of, you are capable of good and great.  It is always in your possession.  It is up to you to recognize it.  Use it to jump ahead over past transgressions and setbacks, arm yourself  with your new knowledge to begin once more with different thoughts and different ways to thrust yourself exactly to the point where you left off, starting again, moving forward along your path.

Yoga:  Uttanasana - Standing Forward Fold or Bend
Purpose of forward fold is to open and strengthen the hamstrings and hips.  It requires strong legs and fosters humility by introducing a quiet mind.  It is sometimes called the pose of surrender. In this instance it is surrendering to gravity and breath.  As you practice uttansana, surrender breath, acknowledging that which did not work; surrender gravity, expressing gratitude for positive opportunity to jump ahead with strong legs to begin again.

The Power of Will

This past month, I have been struggling with the will to rise each morning with focus on a newly established physically demanding workout regiment.  While I readily enjoyed the results of an arduous workout, I realize that I had been viewing it as a formidable task. The challenge I created for myself left me no longer able to enjoy the training.  The issue lies in the will to initiate the process as I found that I was forcing work that I perhaps needed to view differently.  This realization came surprisingly when I received an observation from someone after I expressed gratitude to a friend for the motivational boost to workout despite lack of enthusiasm.  He mentioned that although I received a push to move, in the end it was still up to me to do it. It was an eye opening moment that I was grateful for.  It was the shove instead of push that I needed.   He was correct.  No matter what inspiration you receive, it is still up to you and you alone to muster the power of will to achieve anything that you seek to do - no one or no thing can do it for you.


Problem with Perfection

This "aha moment" led to a personal examination of why I felt so compelled to do all and "be all".  The answer was simple.  I was seeking perfection, wanting too much too fast, and becoming impatient.  I had forgotten my yoga training of self acceptance in the moment, as you are, where you are. I wanted the results of such a workout to be evident immediately instead of taking the time to build toward the goal.  I was mentally  and unrealistically imposing someone else's definition of  "success" over a picture of myself.  Therein lies the problem with perfection.  When you strive and push yourself too hard towards someone else's goal, you will burn out, crash and fail, achieving nothing even close to your original objective.  Humbled by the truth of this reality check, I started over with clear focus.

The Will to Live

During this will power challenge, I was fortunate to view the movie, "A Single Man".  The movie was about life, that despite all we may do to self destruct or move toward the alternative, when faced with it, most of us fight with frenzied passion to survive, exercising a tremendous innate force - exerting the will to live.  I was so moved by the ability we all possess to breathe the breath we breathe.  When faced with the possibility not being able to do so, we will ourselves to the very end to cling onto it yet, we take it for granted, focusing on things not at all important in the grand scheme.  It is the during the quiet time when we are alone with ourselves, in the small instance when we think about these things and make the effort to exert the will to live is when we are most powerful. It is that instance which struck me with awe and moved me to tears. I came to the understanding that, will power is but a mechanism to demonstrate the will to live.
It is very humbling and reminds us to get rid of artificial goals, deadlines, and New Year's resolutions...be grateful for simple things, be grateful for who you are, be grateful for where you are, be grateful for what you can do.

Lifting Weights

All of this started as I had created a weight lifting and muscle toning regimen for myself.  Trying to do all each day. As I mentally cleansed, I began to lift the "weight" of feeling that I had to work until exhaustion.   I was able to think clearly and obtain a new focus with a realistic plan -a plan just for me.  It was time to "recoup, regroup, and restart".  Ahhh....what a beautiful exhalation.  The first step I took was to stop "wearing", trying to "fit" other people's goals and began to wear my own, changing the paradym of what "success" looked like for me.

When you think of lifting weights, you think of moving or manipulating something heavy.  In this instance, as I physically lifted the weight of the bench press or dumbbells, I changed my thought process from negative to positive as each weight lifted is also the lifting of the burden of not wanting to do that which would benefit me, to learn to appreciate what is best for me.  It is acceptance of what I can lift right now, today, at this moment with the understanding that as I do what I can in this instance, I will grow stronger and perhaps tomorrow, I will be able to lift more for a little longer.  Whether I will be able to do more is not important.  The key is recognizing that I, along with each of you possess the will and the power to do whatever it is we are doing in the present moment and that each of us have the capability to generate the fuel to do the very same tomorrow.

It is only at the end of a task will you be able to determine if you are able to do more.  So instead of biting off more than you can chew, accept what is in your mouth today and savor the flavor with gratitude.  If you are fortunate and have an opportunity to take a second bite then do so.

"It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise" 

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you realistically establish your goal for what you can do within the moment, you soon will discover that in time, you will you have advanced far more quickly than you would have if you remained focused on outcome.  Instead, accomplish one step at a time as each step will eventually deliver the overall objective. Slow and steady wins the race.  Taking small increments will ensure goals are realistic and obtainable. Use will power to address each step with the enthusiasm of the will to live.    This revelation has opened my eyes, lifting the weight of the albatross I had hung around my neck, freeing my power, releasing my will.  With new found fervor and renewed power of  will, I awake happy for the present day with passion to climb just the one step I will climb today knowing that each day as I climb this one step, I am one step higher than the day before and one step closer to the step for tomorrow.



Yoga:  Balasana -  Child's Pose

In gratitude for reality checks and restoration of self-truth, Balasana or child's pose. In yoga, the child's pose is a rest between challenging postures.  It humbles, cleanses, calms breathing, settles the mind and the body.  The child's post is an exhaling opportunity for respite, providing the balance and gravity necessary to facilitate the ability to take one step at a time.


Namaste.

Being Vegan

I celebrated Thanksgiving with family and friends.  It is a traditional American holiday filled with foods that I no longer eat that no longer have the same focus for me.  In the past, it meant gorging on unhealthy foods that made you feel lethargic afterwards and to be grateful to eat it among family and friends.  It was something I thought (along with millions of others) an event that actually seemed quite fun.  As I evolve, I realize that the meaning of this holiday has changed.  Now...for me... it is no longer fun to eat something that will not help in the grand scale of things.  Now...for me...to be grateful is something that needs to be addressed per diem, not just on the last Thursday in November.  Now...for me...it is a responsibility to eat kindly every day...it is just part of being vegan.

First Raw Thanksgiving

1st Raw Thanksgiving
Marking the milestone as one year Raw approaches

Everyone around me had the traditional  animal by-product based meal.  It was something I did not wish to partake in.  As their meal was prepared, I worked, excitedly, to create my own raw meal.  My first raw meal at a table filled with just the opposite in both palate and guests.  As I put my dishes together, I rejoiced that I did not have to prepare myself mentally to be defensive for I was fortunate to be in the midst of those I love and who love me.   There was no judgment in the room.  The focus was on the ambiance and spending time together.  Afterwards, a wonderful thing happened.  One of the guests came up to me and began to ask questions regarding how to get started on a vegan path of their own.  Exuberant  and happy to assist,  I immediately gave him taste samples.  He was surprised at how "tasty" they were and that the food was "uncooked".  I gave him a bag of raw goodies to take home with a heart-felt promise to help him transition.  I am proud of the decision he has made for his health and quality of life.  My meal appealed to him and sparked inspiration.  For this, I am thankful.  I had carefully thought out the meal, wishing for an opportunity to speak about live foods, not realizing that this small wish would come true before the night ended.  This meal was special for me, it symbolized my gratitude as I look forward to next month in which I will celebrate, marking one year since converting to raw, live foods.  I was happy to express how my life has changed, and overjoyed to share my appreciation:

Yellow Squash Noodles with Cashew Cheese Sauce

Grate squash with a noodle maker or spiral vegetable slicer

Soak 2 cups raw cashews for 4 hrs, drain, puree in blender.  Add garlic and lemon juice to taste

Garnish with slithers of red pepper

Mushrooms Stuffed with Chopped Kale and Tomatoes

Core Mushrooms, stuff with chopped kale and diced tomatoes

Savory Corn Cakes

    Adapted from the recipe by Michael Lloyd-Billington, 

Yogi, raw chef, fitness instructor, and owner of Alternative Personal Training: 

                                4 c. sweet corn

                                1 large red bell pepper, finely chopped

                                6 shittake mushrooms, finely chopped

                                2 shallots, finely minded

                                Juice of 1 lemon

                                1 t powdered rosemary * (adapted - substituted with sage; taste preference)

                                2 c. raw cashews, processed to light meal * (adapted -  I chopped cashews and added to mixture)

                                1 T olive oil * (adapted - omitted from my version)

                                Cracked black pepper & salt to taste * (adapted - omitted from my version)

Whisk lemon juice, oil & seasoning.  Pulse corn very, very lightly in food processor -- literally just 2 quick pulses--then fold in chopped ingredients & dressing.  Add just enough cashew meal to very lightly bind.  

Form into cakes & then very lightly dust with a little more meal.

Pureed Sweet Potatoes

Yes, you can eat raw sweet potatoes!

Banana Pudding

Puree 2 bananas, sprinkle with cinnamon

Wow.  It turned out to be a wonderful holiday.  It had changed yet stayed the same.  I enjoyed a wonderful meal with wonderful people.  As the day ended, one of the guests remarked that I looked different.  Hmm, I didn't think I looked different other than the obvious weight loss. As I thought about it though, I guess my look had changed, especially to those who haven't seen me in a while. Since my transition, my hair has grown, my nails are strong, my skin is clear, my smile is wide and my heart is happy - all because...I Am Vegan. I wondered...did I "look" vegan?

Faces of Vegan Project

What does being vegan look like? Lisa Viger,  photographer, vegan artist, chef, and author of the blog "Raw on $10 a Day (or Less!)"  who describes her work as "art : food : life" asked herself this very same thing.   She asked vegans to engage in her "Faces of Vegan Project" in which she set out to answer the question.  I, along with several friends, eagerly volunteered to participate and was honored to be included in the resulting video that was appropriately released on Thanksgiving Day:

What does being vegan look like? Vegans look like me and you, the man next door, the woman upstairs, the child playing in the yard outside.  There isn't a formula of what a vegan should look like as we all are walking through divergent points along our paths.  The passion though, is congruent - does this mean that vegans look "different" from those not vegan and the "same" as other vegans?  It's possible - perhaps that is what my guest sensed in me...the difference in my spirit and in the being of who I am now from that which I used to be.  I can not tell you what being vegan looks like. It is up to you to decide.  I can, however,  tell you what it being vegan feels like.   If these feelings flow from within the body and demonstrate themselves physically on outside, then I guess that what being vegan looks like is .....happy, beautiful, and free.  With that, as I reflected on the day, I wasn't far off tradition after all.  I had much to be grateful for - to Michael for sharing his recipe; to Lisa for putting together the video project; to the many people who have inspired and changed my life this past year; for enjoying a meal with family and friends; for the opportunity to rejoice in the prospect of helping someone transition; to being able to say openly, "I am proud, I am different, I am ... Vegan".

Yoga: Anjaneysana -

 Crescent or Low Lunge 

Anjaneysana, which strengthens balance, back, and legs, is practiced to stimulate the diaphragm and open the heart.  It's expansion and reach is also an expression of praise, abundance, joy and gratitude.

Angels and Anniversaries

"Angels are among us; when you find them, cherish their presence everyday"-unknown

This month  marks the anniversary of this journey.  It has been one year since I first placed pen to paper.  What began as an effort to document progress, force commitment and a vehicle to deal with demons, has become the grounding foundation I sought to seek.  It seems as if it were just yesterday that I began, yet so much has happened, as if a tremendous span of time has passed since last September ..


Angel of Catalyst
365 days ago, I had very little knowledge.  All I knew was that I could no longer continue in the direction in which I was going.  While stumbling out of the gate and researching online, I came across the website, The Vegan Muse.  Something about the site was beckoning and easy to follow.  I wrote the creator, Charlie Pinkston, sharing my truths and my story.  I explained my inexperience, my dreams, my vulnerability and my desire to live a vegan life.  She quickly responded and did an amazing thing - she welcomed me openly and unconditionally.  As we corresponded, Charlie quickly became the catalyst, igniting a fire within me.  In return, not only did she share with me, she freely gave advice, nutritional tips, friendship, and inspiration to stay the course.  When I tried my hand at what became my signature dish, she invited me to participate in the book

The Vegan Muse and The Sexy Raw Vegan
Angels of catalyst and fuel....
...who graciously became my Sisters

she was planning (and eventually published this past Spring), "The Vegan Muse and Friends".  I was stunned for her book is filled with features from seasoned yogis and professional vegan chefs.  Yet, despite this, she also included me, a pure novice, to participate.  Charlie believed in me more than I believed in myself.  She wanted to show that regardless of your experience level, it isn't hard to create a vegan dish if you have the desire to just simply try.  Low and behold, I reside on page 136 as a testament in gratitude to the angel who opened the door to reveal my true journey.  How can you give up or fail when there is a guardian angel evoking and leading the way?  Charlie saw or felt something I had yet to see.

Angel of Fuel
Once ignited, I became insatiable, hungry for more information, possessing a new motivation to learn and to create.  Unfortunately, as angels lurk, so do demons:  initial smells and temptations of former favorites, lack of support, self flagellation, mental deprecation, second guessing, feeling alone, forced defense, and doubt all hovered internally.  Simultaneously, I was externally left flabbergasted and devastated by the negativity, hatred, harsh unsolicited judgment, and ugliness of others, leaving me at times, loaded and downtrodden as the steam began to fizzle.  Through Charlie, I had begun to meet several kind people, one of which provided an experience -  a pure burst of positive bright vegan energy, Drew McCall  Burke.   Drew quickly became the fuel to combust the smoldering embers within me.  Drew, better known as the "Sexy Raw Vegan",  also fitness guru and raw vegan chef,  became my guide.  She possesses an uncanny understanding of how what you put into your body effects how your move your body.  Food is fuel.  Fuel provides power.  Drew's ability to communicate this became the power and the energy needed to move forward, to stay the course.  She selflessly opened her heart and began to coach me, eventually introducing me to a raw, live food lifestyle.    Her promotion, telephone calls, emails, and chats provided positive support.... continuous fuel to feed the flames now burning bright within me.  She challenged me to move outside of my comfort zone and to stand up to face my demons - those tangible and those in the forms of poor food choices. She became the fuel to my fire.

Angel of Fire
With an intensity, this past year has been an incredible experience. I have learned so much and am eager to return as much as has been given to me.  I am on fire.  I burn with voracity consuming all in my path, learning and reaching out to as many as I can.  The student is becoming the teacher.  With burning passion, I have begun to adapt and to "uncook" meals that once served as staples.  Last year, I was so pleased to present Veggie Tuna.  It was my signature dish, it served me well.  Although it did not contain any fish, it was a mock version consisting of cooked garbanzo beans, grapeseed vegan mayonnaise, green pepper, red onion, and tomato.  It was a triumph to create this dish...and it is equally pleasing to present a live, raw version:

LIVE Veggie Tuna

Sprouted Garbanzo Beans

Sprouted Quinoa
Green Pepper

Red Onion
Tomato

Sprout beans (takes 3-4 days), sprout quinoa (takes 24-48hrs).  Chop/dice green pepper, red onion, tomato. Ground garbanzo beans in food processor or blender. Add other ingredients.  Liquid from tomato should hold it all together.

When you are blessed with the presence of angels, you are able to defeat your demons with fervor. As you reach any milestone or anniversary demarcation in your life, you reflect.  Reflection allows you to:

                                                           see:    where you've been

                                            acknowledge:   where you are

                                                 determine:   where you're going

As you see where you've been, you will be able so see where you're going.  In order to acknowledge where you are, you must acknowledge where you've been.  As you determine where you're going, you determine where you are.   Whether you rejoice loudly in celebration or sit quietly in somber gratitude, whether you recognize or not, you should know that you have not arrived at any particular point in your life alone.  You've had to deal with demons, assisted by angels who have guided and supported you along the way.   Over time, as you reflect, you will begin to recognize them, as they reveal themselves in the form of teachers, friends, neighbors, parents, and sometimes strangers - people we do not know but are grateful that they seemingly are in the "right place at the right time".  As angels grace, do not let their assistance be in vain.  As you have received, let the fire ignited within you burn bright and use it to become an angel for someone else.  Freely offer and avail yourself to another in your stead.  As you receive, you so should give in return.

Fire once started need not be extinguished.  It can be a continuous event, as long as it is consistently fed and nourished.  Use your angelfire to ignite and fan the flame of someone else.  Being an angel isn't difficult and doesn't have to be a complex endeavor, it can be as simple as a few kind words, opening a closed door, a pat on the back, being either a catalyst or a provider of fuel.  How ever you choose to spread your wings, always remember to be a pillar of support where none exists.  Burn your fire with intensity for as you grow, so shall all you encounter.

This anniversary I see clearly now, having successfully conquered demons.   With humble gratitude,  I am fortified with the blessing of both the catalyst and the fuel, angels who have graciously become my sisters... and I embrace with thanksgiving the many angels met this past year (to name just a few: Jen, John, Glen, Chloe, Jo, Travis, Brian, Marcus, Asante, Toni, Suky, Ron, Danelle, Gina, Mitzi, Jason, Rosie, Xavier, Yogini, Zenita).  To each of them, to those too many to name, and to each of you, with my deepest bow,  Namaste.

Yoga:  Manipura, the third Chakra
The third chakra, also called the navel chakra or solar plexis, is located within the digestive system.  It is represented by the color yellow as it is considered the life force,  the "seat of fire within the body". According to Yoga Journal, "this chakra is involved in self-esteem, warrior energy, the power or transformation, governing digestion and metbolism."  It is the source of generosity and selfless service, provides courage to take risks, and reinforces ethics.

I practice Dhanurasana with Breath of Fire..
...keeping ignited embers lit.

Pose:     Dhanurasana - Bow Pose
The bow pose stimulates the Manipura.   In Kundalini Yoga, the bow pose is practiced in conjunction with the Breath of Fire (rapid breathing technique). It massages the abdominal organs and strengthens the back, increasing digestive fire.

Standing and Blooming

Confirmation always comes
from sources least expected

Recently, I was involved in an incident in which I was deeply offended by a very hateful remark disguised as a joke.  I sought and received an apology from the offender but it was not enough...it was not sincere.  Since this had occurred in a professional environment, I requested acknowledgement and documentation of the occurrence and I sought validation.  None came.  Hmmm. Perplexing.  Why must the offended be the seeker of that which should come without solicitation? The offender received a reprimand but more importantly, an opportunity for redemption and a feeling of value.  I, as the recipient had not, received any outreach nor contact, as if there were no need to also feel valued.  The process was flawed and killed any motivation to remain within the situation.

"In spite of difficulties, you must keep self confidence" - Dali Llama

Standing

After careful consideration and deep meditation, I severed ties with something I had grown to love for close to two years.  I had to take a stand for what I believed to be justice. If I had accepted the blow I was dealt and remained in the environment from whence it came, I would have allowed the negative energy to slowly eat away at my spirit.  "Rise above it" many said.  Some things can not be risen above.  Sometimes you must stand and face that which needs facing.  What a liberating feeling to stand strong, fortified within your righteousness.

As I stood, a funny thing occurred.  With gratitude, I realized that I had absolutely no malice in my heart against the offender.  How can you be angry at someone blissful in their ignorance?  Hopefully the lesson of second chances and discovering how something thought minor was actually serious enough to be escalated, would perhaps become a cold splash of reality to awaken from the err of their ways.

"If you do not stand for what you believe in,

 you will fall for anything."

Standing, I became conscious that although I had to walk away, it was time to do so. My heart and spirit were no longer there.  It was time for the body to follow.  Time for new adventure. Time not to fall.  So, as I stood, I began to rejoice at the opportunity of the freedom that comes with standing.  When you stand, you take risk, with risk comes courage, with courage, conviction and with conviction...faith.  To walk out on faith takes belief in that which is to come whether you know what that will be or not.

"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"- Anais Nin

Every Spring, new fresh flowers do this very thing.  Young stems fight their way free from the cold underground.   Reinforced by their roots, the stems begin to stand, growing tall and stronger each day.  Vulnerable and susceptible, they stand in spite of the environment, humans, animals or insects and bask in the light of the sun.  At some point, when the time is right, at the top of the stem, a bud with a seed appears.  Slowly, the bud opens and a beautiful flower emerges,it has bloomed...new, fresh, and beautiful.

Blooming

This stand could not have happened at a better time.  I had just committed to move to 100% raw diet, experiencing an explosion of creativity to conjure up new meals, to write, to increase education, and to pursue these dreams...to thrive in the blossoming of ideas.  Never doubt, as you believe in yourself, you will receive confirmation from sources you'd have never imagined.  Over the course of three days immediately following my stand, I had a soul connection with three of my sisterfriends.  Each, unbeknownst to the other and each, not knowing my situation had provided the same message.  Blossom. On the fourth day, I received the placard pictured above in the mail in the guise of an advertisement.  I had to chuckle.  Confirmation loud and clear. The time for standing is now over.  It is now time to bloom.

Yoga:  Urdhua Hastasana - 

Raised Arm Pose

The Raised Arm Pose is also called the upward salute.  It is a beginner's pose meant to align (stand) the body and is the precursor (bud/seed) to more advanced postures (bloom).  The posture resembles a blossoming flower stem.  The body is upright standing strong with extension in the arms, the head tilted up toward the sun, the hands in open lotus position, stretching in full blossom.


Namaste.