Starting...Again

"How do you start over?"  This question was presented after my last post regarding willpower.  "Do not start over", I replied, "Start again".

You see, there is a difference.  You can never really start over.  When you initiate any "thing", you do so with the knowledge you have acquired up to that point.  You make choices and decisions based upon it.  When you set out to re-initiate a task, you will do so with the history of your previous attempts in an effort to either recreate or avoid it depending on your perception of the results.

Starting over fosters failure, a missed opportunity, dream deferred, an objective not reached.  It is a negative reinforcement which focuses on the possibility of falling once more as it establishes a cycle of disappointment and let down.  If you failed initially, you will do so again.  This occurs when you think the same thoughts, using the same tools in the same manner toward the same goal.  Starting again produces a different outcome.  It is a positive approach as it acknowledges previous setback.  When you start again, you move along a path you may have traveled previously with knowledge of prior obstacles and the ability to make adjustment for them.  Even if you once again do not arrive where you wish to be, you still arrive that much closer.  In this instance, you will not face a brick wall, you instead face new possibility with additional data.  You will add this new information to the foundation you've already established.

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again"~Thomas  H. Palmer,1847

New found knowledge obtained through starting again allows you to correct mistakes and calculate a new formula for success. As I continue to learn how to live a low-fat raw vegan lifestyle, I find the need to restart "how" and what I eat.  Things I first thought suitable to consume are not so and have led me off of the path as they trigger cravings of food I need not partake or creates a void of those I should.  Here is a list of a few things I used at the beginning of this walk thinking it was "safe"  and healthy only to discover myself "back at start" after realizing that these things do not serve wellness nor beneficial consumption:

What I used to eat  and why I no longer eat them

apple cider vinegar is made from fermented apples.  All vinegar contain a diluted acetic acid which is poisonous in its natural form. Vinegar is not good for the kidneys, thyroid glands and produces mucous within the body.

olive oil  simple, Oil = fat. A waste of calories.  There is no need to add fat to your meals.  The total daily fat intake needed per day should not exceed 10% according to Dr Graham of the 80/10/10 Diet.  You can have a serving of nuts or seeds to obtain this objective naturally.

liquid amino acids contains a naturally forming high salt content that occurs during processing and glutamic acid which is the same chemical in MSG and is processed with hydrochloric acid in a procedure called hydrolization to separate and isolate the aminos.  I've learned that you can get the required aminos (protein) from eating a balanced whole fruit and vegetable diet.

agave nectar  concentrated  fructose (yes, even those that tout they are "natural or raw"). Because of its low glycemic index many think it is "healthy".   It is not.  It is simply,  processed sugar not much different than a tablespoon of refined white sugar.

soy  too many to tell. This link sums it all up http://www.foodrenegade.com/dangers-of-soy/

cacao  a stimulant derived from heating up and extracting the fermented result from the cacao bean pod.  In its natural form, it has an unpleasant taste and must be processed in order to produce the "chocolate" effect.  Cacao has some nutrients however it contains more toxins than nutrients

This is but a short list as I have also cut out many other things. The point however, is that the knowledge gained of how these things effect me enables me to propel myself forward should I find myself faltering.  This knowledge provides the "starting" point for the next leg of the journey.

Jumping Ahead

Each of these items landed me back at square one.  As I began again, I utilized the knowledge obtained previously to jump ahead, actually beginning at the last drop off

point instead of doing everything "over".  This method can be used for any initiative you seek to achieve whether it is weight lifting, eating raw vegan, or learning how to fly a kite.  I recently spoke with someone who admitted to me that they were not being honest when asked the question "How are you doing?".  This person would respond "Great".  Secretly, in silence, that was not the case.  In a need to "come clean" this individual confessed to me that they had indeed not been doing all that well.  After thanking this awesome human being for trusting me with their honesty, I informed that there was nothing wrong with their answer as sometimes the question is asked rhetorically, or as a gesture of politeness.   If this is the case, then the inquisitor really isn't looking for an answer.  When the person answered the question, everything in their life was not great however, a few components were.  Focusing on the positive aspects will help deal with the points in life that are not so great.  Sometimes the question is asked as a litmus test for your failure if the person asking is not in your corner.  In this instance, the answer would still be "great" since the objective is to steer away from negativity and to embrace that which is awesome in your life.   I am not advocating lying, I am advocating focus and communication of your positive truths in which to feel and express goodness.  This will always be true for no matter what you are in the midst of, you are capable of good and great.  It is always in your possession.  It is up to you to recognize it.  Use it to jump ahead over past transgressions and setbacks, arm yourself  with your new knowledge to begin once more with different thoughts and different ways to thrust yourself exactly to the point where you left off, starting again, moving forward along your path.

Yoga:  Uttanasana - Standing Forward Fold or Bend
Purpose of forward fold is to open and strengthen the hamstrings and hips.  It requires strong legs and fosters humility by introducing a quiet mind.  It is sometimes called the pose of surrender. In this instance it is surrendering to gravity and breath.  As you practice uttansana, surrender breath, acknowledging that which did not work; surrender gravity, expressing gratitude for positive opportunity to jump ahead with strong legs to begin again.

Accepting Rejection

Who is rejecting whom?

Recently, I applied for a position which would have returned me to the "corporate world".  I made this decision as I thought it would facilitate my financial and personal goals.  My dream to study ayurveda yogic doctrine and become a certified yogini.  I had researched and found the place in which I wish to study, the teacher, and a tuition structure.  This study requires a commitment of time that can not be afforded within the parameters of my current part time employment.   Thus, I felt the need to return to what I know best, administrative work.  I know this work like the back of my hand.  I've not only performed the position, but I've supervised, managed, and even trained others on how to perform this work. So, I applied for a position I could easily do with my eyes closed.  In my arrogance, I did not want to work anywhere for anyone.  I selectively applied to organizations I thought would compliment and run concurrent with the personal dedication I made to be of a giving nature.  One such company contacted me and I interviewed with them a total of three times:  initially, a callback interview, and finally with a panel.  In each interview, I confidently told my truth, submitted my credentials, and tried to explain, in a manner I thought of as humble, that although I was overqualified, I could deliver the objectives of the position. I had eight references ready, and I was confident that I had secured the position.

One  Basket

Much to my surprise and utter shock, after receiving what I thought was good feedback, I did not get the position.  A position that was elementary to me.  I was devastated. Questions flooded my head.  Why?  Too old?  Too confident, Too intimidating? Not enough (fill in the blank)????

Remember - everything doesn't have to go into one basket
We always have several at our disposal.

I was not as concerned of not being accepted by strangers as I was concerned that my truth had been rejected.  When you stand vulnerable and honestly present your truth, your intention is for reception.  That's the only reason we do it in the first place.  It  is the very real fear of rejection that many of us never present nor face our truths.  I had also made another fatal mistake.  I had placed all of my future hopes and dreams into one basket.  No one thing brings us to any point or goal in life.  It is a myriad of variables aligning at a particular coordinate at a particular time that delivers us where we are at that time.   Why place everything into one basket when we have several at our disposal?

Why had something that seemed to be going so well suddenly crashed and burned?  Perhaps the interviewers were mirroring that which they saw before them:  rejection.  Perhaps the image I thought I was projecting was not what I was actually presenting.  Perhaps as I presented my truth to them, I wasn't listening or looking at myself.

"Ain't funny that the way you feel shows on your face?

And no matter how you try to hide, it'll state your case" © Earth Wind and Fire

Perhaps the panel could "see" the personal, internal rejection I was battling , trying to mask the decision to return to the very world I vowed to leave.  I was reluctantly and readily sacrificing a little bit of freedom in lieu of the big picture. I had dressed for the part wearing clothing and shoes I hadn't worn in years - clothing which no longer fit both physically and mentally.  Perhaps my body had rejected the business attire the same way my mind was rejecting the back and forth game of the interview process of trying to give the "right" answer in the right manner, the same way my soul was rejecting the idea of fitting back into the box I so loved to think outside of.  Perhaps the struggle and rejection was so evident that the panel had no other choice but to reject me in lieu of another candidate who deserved to be there.

Not quite ready to accept this truth, I submitted my resume to a "professional reviewer" for a critique.  The main point he claimed was wrong with my resume was that it screams that I am a "doer" not an "achiever".  Hmmm, this puzzled me.  Yes, I am a doer.  I get things done, I've made things happen which has lead to a previously successfully career.  I've achieved and accomplished quite a few awards, commendations, and recognition.  For a fee, the reviewer could elaborate this for me.  NOT!  I looked up the free definition for myself:

do:  to perform, execute or produce; to achieve

achieve:  to perform or carry out with success, accomplish

The slight semantics here could have been what lead to my rejection.  Achievement comes natural to me which is why I don't think about "doing".  To me, it is one and the same.  I now realize that to others, there is a big difference.  I don't think I want to expend that much energy into worrying about it. It is no longer who I am.  So, as I look into my mirror to recognize this rejection,  I  accept it.   I am listening to what is being said and looking at what I am being shown. I can not return to that world in the same manner I left it.  I have evolved.  I am rejecting it.

"Opportunities surround you if you know where to look" - Chinese proverb

I had prematurely and mistakently placed my yogic goal into a basket that I did not own. The lesson here is that there is more than one way to reach a destination.  You just have to know where to look.  This job will not be the vehicle which will take me where I wish to go.  I accept this rejection.  I am not revising my resume to highlight achievement over doing.  I shall instead, place it into its own basket labeled Employment.  There will be another opportunity in which the truth I tell and the truth I exhibit will align.  The learning is knowing the correct audience in which to reveal.  True alignment will always bring success.   It is important to stay on the path. I will study ayurveda yogic doctrine but it will arrive in a manner different from what I once knew.

Rain Water

You may ask what does this have to do with yoga. veganism, and transformation? Everything. The conversion to veganism is certainly filled with rejection but it doesn't matter what you apply it to.  Rejection of any thing you present, whether it be transforming lifestyle, changing diet, relationship, or employment, still feels the same. It is up to you to face it, understand it, do something about it, to seek new opportunity and to accomplish.

Use the rain collected in the vessel to
cleanse and begin life anew.

With this in mind, I have decided  to take out a few additional baskets in which to place a few other things:  one for Yoga, one for Vegan Adventures, one for Aspirations, and a special vessel to collect the rain that falls when we feel rejection.  Accept this vessel.  Use the rain water collected to refresh, rejuvenate and revive. Rain is water;  water which cleanses and is the key of life.  As you accept your rejection, learn from it.  Look in the mirror and be clear about that which you also reject, place each thing in its proper basket. Don't limit yourself, use as many baskets as you need to avoid the mistake of putting too many things in one basket or mixing inconsistent items.  Accept the rain and use the vessel to begin life anew.

Yoga -  Chant:  Guru Guru Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru

Click Here to Listen "Guru Ram Das" by Snatam Kaur

In preparation for opportunity yet to come, this Mantra, meant to initiate the healing process, is appropriate for beginning anew after accepting rejection.  The chanting of Guru Guru Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru

 is also a source of protection, spiritual light, guidance, and humility.

In gratitude, 
Namaste. 

The Brick Wall

Day 230 - Facing the brick wall.   After a strong run, the brick wall has found me... Somewhat.  No, I haven't fallen off the vegan bandwagon and with enthusiastic strength, I am confident I shall remain vegan for the rest of my days.   I am however, human with human emotions, feelings, and actions.  My number one challenge has always been comfort eating.  I used food as a cushion to soften blows of hurt.  I would just treat myself to some decadent “thing” and gorge.  It was the one thing I could control at times when I was not able to control that which hindered me.  I was so swept up in my new vegan world that when I opened my eyes and ears to my former world, I received a heartfelt blow that caused me to revert to old ways..to seek comfort in the very foods I had to get away from.  I ran head first into that wall and gave up eating raw for about a week.  I stopped sharing with my vegan friends, and just ate things not good for me:  white potatoes, breads, beans, rice, pastas, peanut butter.  All the while, I was able to give advice to others, I did not seek any for myself.  I let the brick wall crush me. 

Poisonous words - another set of bricks

You may ask, after all this time, what happened?  I realize now that the wall had been slowly building a brick at time.   It’s no secret that over the past seven months, I have experienced a great amount of weight loss.  I don’t know how much because I refused to be a slave to a scale as the objective of this journey was not about losing weight.  Never considered “obese”, my last check-up two years ago revealed that , I was at the top of my weight range for my height.  At 5’9”, my weight was always distributed evenly and people always thought of me as slender.  Despite this, I easily fit double-digit sized clothing.  As I mentioned in, "Sad vs Glad", the purpose of this shift is to improve the quality of life, to avoid "death by diet".  If a little weight loss due to purging of animal products occurred, then so be it. 

Unfortunately, all do not see this as I do.  Now that I wear single-digit clothing, people who physically “see” me (family, friends, associates)  have begun to make remarks about my weight loss and it feels negative.   Some consider this a “hobby” and fear I am becoming obsessed, some have called me puny, skinny, a few have poked me or placed their hands around my arms or legs as if to “measure” how small I have become.  No one notices or mentions that I am strong as an ox, that I have energy, that I am… happy.  As my body transitions, and as I learn, I realize that I must continue to build muscle and healthy tissue.  But, alas, no one sees the finish line as I do.   Outside of my vegan world, in my physical world, all I seem to hear is remarks about the juices  and the raw dishes and “I don’t know how you eat that stuff”.

Bunk the “stick and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt” adage.  Words do hurt and we must be mindful of them for each word becomes another brick in the walls we build for ourselves or others.

Soulmates and Sledgehammers

 I paid the price of my week of eating badly.  Lethargy, skin breakouts, no desire to work out, and depression.   I kept it to myself.  With a big sigh, I slowly started over and decided to do what was right for me not other people.  Funny thing happens when you hit the brick wall, most of those who drove you to it don’t even realize their part in helping to create it and that you are carrying your bricks "around your neck like an albatross* (from the poem “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”©1798,Samuel Taylor Coleridge) .  In the poem, an old mariner is forced to see, deal, and profess his indiscretion.   It is only after he confesses, that he is given a chance of hope.  This same rang true for me.  On my own, I confided that I had not eaten well and that I would start anew by completing a detoxifying 5-day juice fast. 

Soulmates are the sledgehammer
needed to break down walls.

On day three of the fast, a friend from the other side of the world, Jo Hazelhurst, spoke of similar food experiences, unbeknownst of my own transgression.  Speechless, I realized just at that moment, we were soulmates.  I was at the same place in the same time as she.  This isn’t the first time we’ve been parallel.  In, "Breaking Fast", I mentioned that she was “Vegan Girl goes Yoga”.  We use the same quote by Gandhi as our personal motto, and we’re both on the path of raw living,  positive coaching, to give more than we receive, to practice yoga, to live peacefully.    While words that hurt build brick walls, the strength of soulmates become the sledgehammer needed to break them down.  I realize that no matter what, I really am not alone.  My physical world is only one aspect of many.  I learned not to be afraid to reveal my wall, my vulnerabilities, and to ask for help.

Trying Again  (if at first you don’t succeed)

Kale, snow peas, squash, tomato, granny smith apple, sprouted raw beans
Topped with nutritional yeast and a splash of Bragg's amino acid

I know what I had to do, I had to pick myself up, dust off and try again.  I looked to the foods that were successful and realized that I have learned a lot from beans.  I learned take it slow and to practice patience. Now, I have learned to try again. A month or so ago, I attempted to sprout raw garbanzo beans with dismal results.  After a great start, they decayed and went foul.  I walked away from it.  Two weeks ago, I tried again with fantastic results.  The beans were delicious and I made this salad with them.

The lesson here is that like me, sometimes, you too will soar, but “sometimes you won’t...sadly, it’s true that Bang-Ups and Hang-Ups can happen to you... when you’re in a slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done…yet, somehow, you will escape..” (from the book: Oh the Places You’ll GO” ©1990 Dr. Suess aka Theodore Geisel)  

So, discover a new way to comfort yourself:  find a soulmate,  grab a sledgehammer, break down your wall, and try again.

Yoga: Tadasana -  Mountain Pose

The starting pose in most yoga practice.  The purpose of mountain pose is to strengthen or improve posture, to signify that is time to begin.  You can stand in mountain pose in meditation, as long as you need to.  According to The Expanding Light, the mountain pose “has a very special purpose, it sets the tone for all that will follow.  It is the neutral pose between other poses.”  

For me, it signifies deep cleansing breath, standing still, on strong feet, in alignment, releasing all prior negativity, ready to try again, ready to begin anew. 

Rescuing Failure

Haven't posted in over twenty days.  Been in the slumps, feeling a little defeated about my first attempt at a juice fasting.  I had so much anticipation and hope about a successful outcome but alas, twas not to be.  I did make it through the first two days great but by the end of the second day, my body could not handle the "shock" and purged. While overall it was a good thing as that meant toxins were leaving  rapidly, I guess I was hoping for a slow void without illness.  My mentor/coach had put together a "5-Day Sexy Vegan Juicy Fast" complete with inspiration, yoga postures, and best of all, daily recipes for scrumptious juices.  I was all gung-ho. After crashing and burning, I needed help - I needed a rescue.

The Rescuers

Day 120.  One hundred and twenty days.  A number I never imagined when I blindly set forth on this journey.  Along the way I have stumbled, slumped, bumbled, fallen, stood up, sown, flown, and soared.  Through it all I've remained steadfast in my dedication and commitment.  For some, the crash and burn leads to  the "F" word which is most associated with negativity or vulgarity.  In any instance, it is use as an expression or explicative to garner attention and it usually works.  During this experience, I have a discovered few "F" words of my own all attributed to the Rescuers.

Perhaps the most rewarding opportunity over these past three months has been the new relationships and support that have come by way of the vegan community.  Through these kind souls, each of whom I affectionately re-named the Rescuers, I have learned to appreciate my "F" words: first, friendship, fighters, frustration, fasting, failure, forging, forward, future. Each of these words have contributed to my growth, especially this last month.

F Words Group 1 - Fasting, Failure, Frustration:

Despite the fact that I did not possess a juice extractor, I was ready to participate in the juice fast. I happily shopped for the juice ingredients and was ecstatic as I chopped, diced and squeezes juices by hand.  I came up with creative ways to utilize the pulp without throwing it away and I logged on to update my progress as well as read the feedback of the other participants which were close to 30.

Juice 1: kale, celery, grapefruit, green granny smith apples
and the ingredients for Juice 2:
spinach, carrots, tomato, ginger, lemon, basil

How proud I was of my first juices. I followed all of  the instructions on the checklist:

 √   chew your juice
 √   drink slowly each glass should take 
      30 - 40 minutes to consume
  √  drink 9 glasses of water
  √  consume green tea w/ ginger & lemon
      in between drinks as needed
  √ start the day with yoga & meditation 

I was so tickled with my results! The deep rich colors and the taste of the raw juice was so intoxicating!  I actually did very well my first day and did not  experience any hunger pangs.  The cravings for food did hit about

The rich colors of hand-squeezed juice.

4am on the morning of day two.  It actually woke me up.  I could literally "feel" movement in my intestines. That was the warning sign I failed to recognize.

By the end of the second day I was feeling ill.  My body went into protection mode and it was all over! Alas, I had to depart from the fast and I sure wasn't feeling too sexy.

After informing my fellow juicers of my frustration, and failure, Yogini, Valerie Devi (see below), blogged about becoming ill during your first fast (http://wildyogini.wordpress.com/2010/12/12/wild-fast-day-four-feeling-ill/ ) .  Wow, I was normal!!!

F Words Group 2 - First, Friendship, Fighters:

After failing and fighting, an amazing thing occurred.  I was introduced to many, new, wonderful vegans.  It was a first for me.  Prior to becoming vegan, there were only known two vegans in my small, intimate circle.  It is an awestruck realization to experience the expansion of this circle.  I have met some amazing people.  I've discovered that there are varying levels of veganism which overlap from raw foodists to educators, to activists.  The interaction with these warm souls have "expanded my horizons" and have opened my eyes to many new possibilities.  While I value our new budding friendships, I appreciate the lessons of first experiences with them, and I admire their fighting spirit to educate, teach, and reach as many as they possibly can with their messages.    Allow me to introduce a few of these wonderful folks, the Rescuers to you:

Yogini Valerie Devi, http://wildyogini.wordpress.com, master yoga instructor, natural health consultant, raw vegan, yoga massage therapist, author, "Wild Yogini", a blog full of helpful information and healthy eating tips, linking mind, body, and soul, expounding upon the relationship between yoga and veganism.

Ayinde Howell,   http://www.ieatgrass.com/ , executive vegan chef , actor, musician, yoga instructor, food coach, author, "I Eat Grass",  a vegan lifestyle website and blog. Full of human interest stories, advice, helpful tips, vegan recipes, pop culture commentary.

Friendship Bracelets 

Oli Dillon Squire,   http://www.actionforourplanet.com, animal rights activist, blogger, and author, "Action for Our Planet", website dedicated to educating, informing, and documenting atrocities and activities against animal around the world.

Asante George,  http://livingourbliss.net/default.aspx , raw vegan educator, chef, artist, poet, author,  "Living Our Bliss", a book, website, and blog about raw living food and organic lifestyle.

Drew McCall Burke, http://veganreality.com/, raw vegan foodist, personal fitness trainer,  my unofficial vegan mentor, coach, cheerleader, and creator of the 5-Day Sexy Vegan Juicy Fast.  Full of energy, positive encouragement and healthy advice, her mantra is "The Power of ONE to change a few, the Power of a few to change many, and the Power of many to change Nations always begins with the Power of ONE - you."

I have had the pleasure of conversing with each of these first friends, some briefly, others at length.  The one common thread is their dedication to (what another first friend said to me), "vegan is a mindset, more than a lifestyle or diet". 

F Words Group 3  - Forward, Forging, Future

After re-enforcing and feeling rescued, I feel ready to forge forward.  I am re-energized with the prospect of my new future.  How apropos that this revelation is on the eve of the new year.  I look forward with eagerness of what is to come and excited about all that I have yet to learn. Remembering that I possess  the ability to fight and forge with  friends to move into new realms will empower me.  It will allow me the opportunity  to "pay it forward", to develop the strength to rescue someone, in my stead,  who is first faltering, frustrated and feeling failure.

If at first you don't succeed.....try again.   With memories of failure fading, I will once again,  join the next "5 Day Sexy Vegan Juicy Fast", confident of a different result.

Yoga:  Boat Pose (again) - re-enforces your core strength and is just the rescue you need when you are drowning in a sea of frustration and failure.

Acceptance

I had begun to write this post with about a quarter done when,  I accidentally deleted everything I had written. Of course, I was frustrated and exasperated.  Unfortunately, I could not retrieve it and there was nothing I could do.    The situation reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" ~Theodore Roosevelt

Thinking about it caused me to alter my subject matter.  This statement is about acceptance.   It makes you realize that sometimes, you have to just accept yourself, your standing, and your current status.  A few synonyms for acceptance are: consent, assume, consume, bear, learn, admit, be.  Acceptance forces us to peer into the mirror and honestly look at what we see to discover our truths:

Can you accept what you see?

          Truth 1: I am weak

          Truth 2: I am strong.

          Truth 3: I am old.

          Truth 4: I am young.

          Truth 5: Sometimes, in one instance, I am all of the
                       above and sometimes none.

We all possess the strength needed to pull through weak points, and each of us are old pros at some things while young novices at others.   Too often, we tend to overlook and seek false acknowledgment.  The problem is that the image we project isn't always the one in the mirror.    In order to seek truthful acceptance from others, you must first accept as-is; complete with deletions, frustrations, exasperations and start overs.  The ability to identify, acknowledge and "see" each truth clearly for what it is and what it offers is the first step to self reception.

Through any journey, acceptance will help you decipher your vulnerabilities (weakness) and teach you how to make adjustment and/or improvement accordingly (strength).   It is the catalyst to break or change your paradigms (oldness) and to venture forth with new meaning (youth).

Paradigm Shift

I thought about my relationship with a words and how some definitions have changed for me since I began this transition so I decided to have a little fun with a few:

Mael (vampire) or Meal?
Meanings change when paradigms shift

Non-Vegan to Non-Vegan        Non-Vegan to Vegan            Vegan to Vegan

          fowl:foul                             piece:peace                slight(not much):sleight (skill)*  
         burgher:burger                     meat:meet                                   affect:effect

          whale:wail                          gored:gourd                                route:root   
          yoke:yolk                           beat:beet                                    serial:cereal
          yack:yak                            lessen:lesson                               whey:way (path)
          worst:wurst                        chews:choose                     cede(give up meat):seed*
          mussel:muscle                     preys:praise                                site:sight
          locks:lox                             roe:row                                       current:currant
          awful:offal (entrails)            charred:chard                               flour:flower
          stake:steak                         paws:pause                                  knead:need 
          vein:vain                             doe:dough                                    maze:maize
          bate:bait                             pistol:pistil (seed bearer)               recede:reseed
          flea:flee                               tongue:tung (tree)                         peal:peel
          lamb:lam                    quints(multiple births):quince(fruit)         use:yews(trees)
          hart:heart         leech (blood sucker) : leach (wash away)*      pare:pear                  

* =  my favorites

Breaking Through

Having fun and not taking things so seriously helps break the images we've engraved in our heads.  How many times have we heard the saying, "What's old is new again?"  or how about "Recycle, Renew, Re-use? ".  When you recycle, you generally use the old material in a new way.  It is amazing when you look at something you have always possessed and see something new just by changing how you view it.  When things that sounded the same now have a different meaning or perspective, congratulations!  You have experienced growth and understanding.  You have shifted your paradigm. It is called a "break-through". So, in retrospect, perhaps the subject I was to write about would be better suited for another place and time.  Perhaps, the lesson here was to teach "welcoming of self"  for I,  like many, tend to be my own worst enemy - punishing myself unrealistically for something  falsely judged as "not enough".  Let go of your stubbornness, learn that acceptance doesn't mean giving up or in.  It is reception with sagaciousness, of  what is, as is, where is. The next time you delete something you've working on...start again.  You may need to learn a lesson, move in another direction, or look at something differently.

Place a lien on negativity and failure; learn to lean on the positive success of redefining old meanings. Lighten up, have a little fun and be happy with the image in the mirror.

crow pose

Yoga:  Crow Pose 
The purpose of the crow pose is to develop mental tranquility; it teaches acceptance of self.  Everyone falls when learning this pose.  It enables you to lean, to depend upon your personal core strength and your ability to balance. You have to learn to lift up one foot at a time and slowly feel how far you can go at that particular moment.  While practicing the pose,  you must literally look forward - you quickly learn that if you let your head drop or lean to quickly, you will lose balance and will fall on your face.  When trying Crow Pose, change your definition of strength and weakness, accept what you can do, as you are, where you are, and gradually work towards your goal.  

Namaste.

Chain Reaction

Day 18: A day full of bad choices.  I had little resources or time to go to the market to obtain vegan choices before I started my day.  As I rushed out, I made a sandwich with what was left in the house:  white bread, lettuce, mayo (didn't use the soy version because I thought it was a waste on this meal), and a slice of cheese.  I ate it 3 hrs later.  Although it was in cool storage, it still was the wrong choice - a wave of nausea swept over me.  I immediately became ill.  I had not realized it but true transformation had begun.  My mind  had not caught up to my body.  I had to remember what I said at the beginning of this process; that this is more mental than physical.  Although the mind had told the body to eat and the body obeyed; the body, all on its own, rejected what was being forced upon it by the mind.  After "giving up" that sandwich, one bad choice lead to another.  I tried to counter my poor stomach with salt in the form of potato chips.  It worked physically but threw me off mentally.  As much as I had achieved in this short time, there was much left to accomplish.  Being my own worst enemy, I tried to "fix it" by making sure I stopped by the market on the way home to purchase better choices.

Keepin' It Real!

Faux Veggie Spinach Bites: Gotta watch out & Keep It Real!

After the debacle earlier in the day, I arrived at the market, sure to correct my mistakes.  Not! Unbeknownst to me,  I once again went down the wrong path.  After selecting obvious vegetables, I decided to check out the "vegetarian" section of the market.  It was not where I normally shopped so I was curious.  In a hurry, I selected what appeared to be a good choice - a breaded veggie spinach bite.  I checked to ensure that there were no artificial preservatives or additives; everything seemed okay so I purchased them.  When I got home, I checked the ingredients more thoroughly.  The item had processed dairy and some "egg product", (whatever that means), in it.  Ugh! I had done it again.  In learning to recognize the "faux foods",  you begin to realize that all that says veggie may not be.    I've got to keep it real with natural and organic selections; learn to "make" instead of not taking the time to prepare better choices and to understand that all chain reactions do not always end up the same way.  Sometimes, if you catch it,  you can reverse the direction in which the chain is going.

Finding Truth - "Begin with the end in mind"

That evening, I logged on to discover that a kind soul who had been following this blog had posted the following quote, ‎"What would you do if you knew you could not fail?"-Robert H. Schuller.   


What an Om Mani Pad Me Hum moment!  (This mantra means "generosity, ethics, patience, diligence, renunciation, and wisdom".  It is often recited to exalt purification.)  

The quote could not come at a better time.  Think about it.  If you could do anything you set out to do with the knowledge that you would not fail, how successful would you be?  Would you be Superman? I was so moved and grateful that it had come just when I needed to re-direct the reaction of my chain.  I went back to Leadership Training 101, the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", by Dr. Stephen Covey.  (I had the pleasure of taking this course with the great Dr. Covey himself and found him to be a most gracious, and humble gentleman.0  The second of his famous seven habits is the one that has the most meaning for me: "Begin with the end in mind".   If you visualize a successful self at the end of your endeavor, you will begin to act, think, and move towards the end you so desire.  You have to find the truth in what you are doing and build upon it.  Despite the short setbacks, my thought processes, patterns, and overall way of doing things had changed.  On the eve of day 21, I have learned:

• my behavior is modifying
• one thing leads to another but I have the ability to change the direction and the reaction
• I can find truth if I keep it real and visualize my success 
• I can be Superman, I can be vegan.

Favorite dish of the day:  back on track cabbage
Exercise:  30 minutes
Yoga: 30 minutes