The Power of Will

This past month, I have been struggling with the will to rise each morning with focus on a newly established physically demanding workout regiment.  While I readily enjoyed the results of an arduous workout, I realize that I had been viewing it as a formidable task. The challenge I created for myself left me no longer able to enjoy the training.  The issue lies in the will to initiate the process as I found that I was forcing work that I perhaps needed to view differently.  This realization came surprisingly when I received an observation from someone after I expressed gratitude to a friend for the motivational boost to workout despite lack of enthusiasm.  He mentioned that although I received a push to move, in the end it was still up to me to do it. It was an eye opening moment that I was grateful for.  It was the shove instead of push that I needed.   He was correct.  No matter what inspiration you receive, it is still up to you and you alone to muster the power of will to achieve anything that you seek to do - no one or no thing can do it for you.


Problem with Perfection

This "aha moment" led to a personal examination of why I felt so compelled to do all and "be all".  The answer was simple.  I was seeking perfection, wanting too much too fast, and becoming impatient.  I had forgotten my yoga training of self acceptance in the moment, as you are, where you are. I wanted the results of such a workout to be evident immediately instead of taking the time to build toward the goal.  I was mentally  and unrealistically imposing someone else's definition of  "success" over a picture of myself.  Therein lies the problem with perfection.  When you strive and push yourself too hard towards someone else's goal, you will burn out, crash and fail, achieving nothing even close to your original objective.  Humbled by the truth of this reality check, I started over with clear focus.

The Will to Live

During this will power challenge, I was fortunate to view the movie, "A Single Man".  The movie was about life, that despite all we may do to self destruct or move toward the alternative, when faced with it, most of us fight with frenzied passion to survive, exercising a tremendous innate force - exerting the will to live.  I was so moved by the ability we all possess to breathe the breath we breathe.  When faced with the possibility not being able to do so, we will ourselves to the very end to cling onto it yet, we take it for granted, focusing on things not at all important in the grand scheme.  It is the during the quiet time when we are alone with ourselves, in the small instance when we think about these things and make the effort to exert the will to live is when we are most powerful. It is that instance which struck me with awe and moved me to tears. I came to the understanding that, will power is but a mechanism to demonstrate the will to live.
It is very humbling and reminds us to get rid of artificial goals, deadlines, and New Year's resolutions...be grateful for simple things, be grateful for who you are, be grateful for where you are, be grateful for what you can do.

Lifting Weights

All of this started as I had created a weight lifting and muscle toning regimen for myself.  Trying to do all each day. As I mentally cleansed, I began to lift the "weight" of feeling that I had to work until exhaustion.   I was able to think clearly and obtain a new focus with a realistic plan -a plan just for me.  It was time to "recoup, regroup, and restart".  Ahhh....what a beautiful exhalation.  The first step I took was to stop "wearing", trying to "fit" other people's goals and began to wear my own, changing the paradym of what "success" looked like for me.

When you think of lifting weights, you think of moving or manipulating something heavy.  In this instance, as I physically lifted the weight of the bench press or dumbbells, I changed my thought process from negative to positive as each weight lifted is also the lifting of the burden of not wanting to do that which would benefit me, to learn to appreciate what is best for me.  It is acceptance of what I can lift right now, today, at this moment with the understanding that as I do what I can in this instance, I will grow stronger and perhaps tomorrow, I will be able to lift more for a little longer.  Whether I will be able to do more is not important.  The key is recognizing that I, along with each of you possess the will and the power to do whatever it is we are doing in the present moment and that each of us have the capability to generate the fuel to do the very same tomorrow.

It is only at the end of a task will you be able to determine if you are able to do more.  So instead of biting off more than you can chew, accept what is in your mouth today and savor the flavor with gratitude.  If you are fortunate and have an opportunity to take a second bite then do so.

"It is not enough to take steps which may some day lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise" 

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you realistically establish your goal for what you can do within the moment, you soon will discover that in time, you will you have advanced far more quickly than you would have if you remained focused on outcome.  Instead, accomplish one step at a time as each step will eventually deliver the overall objective. Slow and steady wins the race.  Taking small increments will ensure goals are realistic and obtainable. Use will power to address each step with the enthusiasm of the will to live.    This revelation has opened my eyes, lifting the weight of the albatross I had hung around my neck, freeing my power, releasing my will.  With new found fervor and renewed power of  will, I awake happy for the present day with passion to climb just the one step I will climb today knowing that each day as I climb this one step, I am one step higher than the day before and one step closer to the step for tomorrow.



Yoga:  Balasana -  Child's Pose

In gratitude for reality checks and restoration of self-truth, Balasana or child's pose. In yoga, the child's pose is a rest between challenging postures.  It humbles, cleanses, calms breathing, settles the mind and the body.  The child's post is an exhaling opportunity for respite, providing the balance and gravity necessary to facilitate the ability to take one step at a time.


Namaste.

Busting Myths...The Raw Way

For the past couple of weeks, I have been posting pictures, of friends who inspire me. Some for their wisdom, some for their commitment to health and fitness, raw veganism, or walk a peaceful yogic life.  I am grateful to these kind souls who so freely share their light and positive energy with me.  Recently, as I began to decide who I would post next, I suddenly stopped searching and posted a picture of myself.  I decided that day, that my inspiration would be ME.  Please do not think this is a vanity move.  It is far from it.  That day I posted self inspiration because it is important to continue to believe in who you are, as you are, where you are and what you represent.

"You will never succeed if you don't first believe in yourself"

As I rejoice in the euphoria of support from those on a similar walk, I still hear echos of the voices of those who are not.  It their voices which propel me to stand strong to believe and accept the inspiration that swells within me.

"Uneasy is the head that wears the crown" from Shakespeare's play Henry IV,  is a warning to take heed -  when you accept a greatness and enjoy all which comes with it, be aware and be responsible of the opposite which lurks as well.

Yin and Yang

Co-existence:  Yin and Yang 

Throughout this walk, many positive, wonderful experiences have showered my path.  You may ask why would I choose to dwell on anything not positive.  Very simple, while focused on forward movement, it isn't healthy to acknowledge it presence, however, you should recognize that which may harm you in order to reinforce and strengthen your stronghold against it.   In this instance, for every yin, there is a yang, every positive, a negative.  They co-exist.   Yin and Yang isn't always positive and negative.  Many times yin and yang are simply opposites.  They oft times need each other. For example, yin represents senses, yang the air.  You need both in which to enjoy a warm wind blowing across your face.  So, I choose to see these sometimes negative experiences as simply....opposite.

Constructive Criticism
The "opposite" experiences received come often in the form of "constructive criticism" and "concern".  Instead of feeling defensive, I have decided to welcome comments and advice from those with genuine health or nutritional education content whose intent is to improve the manner in which I ingest nutrients.  In this instance, it would be true constructive criticism as defined by Wikipedia:

"Constructive criticism aims to show that the intent or purpose of something is better served by an alternative approach. In this circumstance, the target of criticism is not necessarily deemed wrong, and its purpose is respected; rather, it is claimed that the same goal could be better achieved via a different route."

So, ok.  We agree to disagree or to at least respect one another.  I find however, that in most cases, the source of "advice" comes from a viewpoint contrary to healthy tips.  It is usually unwarranted linked to words like "obsession",  "anorexia", "compulsion".  Hmmm.  Each one of these words are associated with illness.  So, if I understand correctly, I am suffering from ailment or soon will be because I decided to work towards improving my health.  These comments overall, are almost accompanied with criticisms disguised as "facts" which I'll call "myths", for although they have some truth, they are presented as if they can not be achieved through a raw vegan diet.

Myth # 1 - You need some carbohydrates.  You need to eat bread, potato, pasta or starch in order to get proper carbohydrates.

A good carbohydrate

True: Our bodies need carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are the source of energy and is found in all of our food.  The myth is thinking we need to get them from breads, pastas, or potatoes.

Myth Buster -Actually, the best sources of carbohydrates is fruit.  Yes, fruit.  Our bodies were designed to consume naturally sweet fruits. Sweet fruits also contain water and the combination satiates the body. Cooked starches likes breads and pastas are water deficient causing the body to retain water and bloat.  These types of carbohydrates are "refined" and are actually considered "bad" for you because they increase the glycemic index (blood sugar level). Excess blood sugars become stored as fat.   Naturally sweet fruits which contain "good" carbohydrates are full of fiber and actually lowers the glycemic index.

Myth # 2 - You need to eat some sort of protein with every meal. If you give up meat, then you need to eat beans and nuts regularly.  True:  Our bodies need protein.  The myth is how much we need and where we should obtain it.

Amino Acid/Protein-filled  Simple Salad

Myth Buster - First, it must be realized that protein is not needed for energy.  That's what carbohydrates are for.  Our nerves, tissues, and bones are made up of protein.  As we age or damage these crucial body components from poor diet, we need protein to repair and replace them. Protein also helps on the cellular  level because it produces the antibodies we need to fight disease and viruses.  The amount and source of protein needed is key.  Proteins are made up of amino acids.  It is actually the amino acid that our bodies need.  There are twenty three standard amino acids. Of that, eight are crucial or "essential" to cellular health. Many argue that plants and vegetables do not provide complete amino acid.  That is because in this instance one plant or vegetable does not provide all twenty three.  That is why it is essential to eat a variety of vegetables to get all of the amino acids. You can find overlap of the amino acids in amongst many vegetables.  For example, if you ate a simple salad of  tomato, cucumber, celery, kale or lettuce with an avocado dressing you would have eaten a sampling of the eight essential amino acids...and a burst of protein.  It is not necessary to eat all eight in one setting. Some fruits, vegetables and nuts such as tomatoes, bananas, or almonds contail all eight.  It is important not to overdo it.  Only 10% of your daily caloric intake should be protein.  Too much protein can harm your kidneys.

Myths # 3  - You shouldn't skip meals. Just drinking juice isn't healthy.

Power Packed Nutrient Filled Beet Juice

True:  You shouldn't skip meals.  This reference is to juice fasting/feasting.

Myth Buster - Just drinking juice if it is raw or cold pressed in conjunction with a cleansing fast is very healthy.  Juice fasting gives the digestion process a break.  Keep in mind that the juice isn't the same as the one on store shelves with additives or preseratives.  Juices in fasting should be made with proper food combinations for their nutritional, mineral, and vitamin content to ensure energy and vitality. Juice fasting also provides detoxification of the kidneys and liver, delivering fiber, mineral balance, cell regeneration, restoring clear skin, alkaline balance and immune system.  Juice fasting cleanses the body and restores health.  A proper juice fast provides nourishment, does not leave you hungry, it replaces a meal instead of skipping one. The purpose of juice fasting is to improve health...not destroy it.

Myth # 4 - You need a "complete" breakfast to start your day.
You shouldn't eat just one thing for breakfast (a reference to mono-eating)

A Complete Meal

True:  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and is key to starting off on the right track .

Myth Buster:  Eating one thing for breakfast is fine if you are mono-eating. The definition of "one-thing" is the crucial component here.  For example, if your one-thing for breakfast is eating 5 bananas, then it is perfectly normal to eat one thing.  In this instance, the criticizer sees just bananas without understanding how mono eating works. Mono eating gives the digestive process a break.  Digestion is one of the most labor intensive processes our bodies must perform.  Mono-eating allows the digestive system to focus solely on utilizing and breaking down one specific food.  Different foods breakdown differently in our bodies and requires different enzymes. When we combine foods, our digestion system must split resources to address each item.  Our bodies work harder to digest nuts than it would piece of soft fruit.  Eating them together does not allow the body full realization of the nutrients of each item.  Eating each one as a mono-meal provides full benefit of the nutrients and minerals of the food source.  If not mono-eating, keep it simple - eat "like" or similar foods in the same meal, foods with the same digestion time frames. Mono eating can be defined as one food for one meal or the same one food all day.  Food consumed in this manner also doesn't "stay" with you and moves through the intestinal track more quickly than combined meals.  Disclaimer: Of course, mono eating is only beneficial if it is with raw, fruit and vegetables.  It is detrimental if cooked foods are mono consumed.

So, for those yang to my yin...I thank you for your concern and I  hope this provides a little clarity so that we may all continue to evolve harmoniously.  Consider a few myths and the busting thereof.  If you see me, then feel and  flow with me as all yin need all yang.  We can ebb and flow together in unison. We can co-exist.

"The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves." ~ Pema Chodron

For those who eyes remain closed and shall never see or feel me, this too shall pass for I will continue to seek  inspiration and belief from within and from around, removing focus of accepting difficult times that do not to have to be received.

Yoga: Vaja Guru Mantra

Om Ah Hum Vajra Guru Padma Siddhi Hum - the mantra for peace, healing, transformation, and protection.

Namaste.

Accepting Rejection

Who is rejecting whom?

Recently, I applied for a position which would have returned me to the "corporate world".  I made this decision as I thought it would facilitate my financial and personal goals.  My dream to study ayurveda yogic doctrine and become a certified yogini.  I had researched and found the place in which I wish to study, the teacher, and a tuition structure.  This study requires a commitment of time that can not be afforded within the parameters of my current part time employment.   Thus, I felt the need to return to what I know best, administrative work.  I know this work like the back of my hand.  I've not only performed the position, but I've supervised, managed, and even trained others on how to perform this work. So, I applied for a position I could easily do with my eyes closed.  In my arrogance, I did not want to work anywhere for anyone.  I selectively applied to organizations I thought would compliment and run concurrent with the personal dedication I made to be of a giving nature.  One such company contacted me and I interviewed with them a total of three times:  initially, a callback interview, and finally with a panel.  In each interview, I confidently told my truth, submitted my credentials, and tried to explain, in a manner I thought of as humble, that although I was overqualified, I could deliver the objectives of the position. I had eight references ready, and I was confident that I had secured the position.

One  Basket

Much to my surprise and utter shock, after receiving what I thought was good feedback, I did not get the position.  A position that was elementary to me.  I was devastated. Questions flooded my head.  Why?  Too old?  Too confident, Too intimidating? Not enough (fill in the blank)????

Remember - everything doesn't have to go into one basket
We always have several at our disposal.

I was not as concerned of not being accepted by strangers as I was concerned that my truth had been rejected.  When you stand vulnerable and honestly present your truth, your intention is for reception.  That's the only reason we do it in the first place.  It  is the very real fear of rejection that many of us never present nor face our truths.  I had also made another fatal mistake.  I had placed all of my future hopes and dreams into one basket.  No one thing brings us to any point or goal in life.  It is a myriad of variables aligning at a particular coordinate at a particular time that delivers us where we are at that time.   Why place everything into one basket when we have several at our disposal?

Why had something that seemed to be going so well suddenly crashed and burned?  Perhaps the interviewers were mirroring that which they saw before them:  rejection.  Perhaps the image I thought I was projecting was not what I was actually presenting.  Perhaps as I presented my truth to them, I wasn't listening or looking at myself.

"Ain't funny that the way you feel shows on your face?

And no matter how you try to hide, it'll state your case" © Earth Wind and Fire

Perhaps the panel could "see" the personal, internal rejection I was battling , trying to mask the decision to return to the very world I vowed to leave.  I was reluctantly and readily sacrificing a little bit of freedom in lieu of the big picture. I had dressed for the part wearing clothing and shoes I hadn't worn in years - clothing which no longer fit both physically and mentally.  Perhaps my body had rejected the business attire the same way my mind was rejecting the back and forth game of the interview process of trying to give the "right" answer in the right manner, the same way my soul was rejecting the idea of fitting back into the box I so loved to think outside of.  Perhaps the struggle and rejection was so evident that the panel had no other choice but to reject me in lieu of another candidate who deserved to be there.

Not quite ready to accept this truth, I submitted my resume to a "professional reviewer" for a critique.  The main point he claimed was wrong with my resume was that it screams that I am a "doer" not an "achiever".  Hmmm, this puzzled me.  Yes, I am a doer.  I get things done, I've made things happen which has lead to a previously successfully career.  I've achieved and accomplished quite a few awards, commendations, and recognition.  For a fee, the reviewer could elaborate this for me.  NOT!  I looked up the free definition for myself:

do:  to perform, execute or produce; to achieve

achieve:  to perform or carry out with success, accomplish

The slight semantics here could have been what lead to my rejection.  Achievement comes natural to me which is why I don't think about "doing".  To me, it is one and the same.  I now realize that to others, there is a big difference.  I don't think I want to expend that much energy into worrying about it. It is no longer who I am.  So, as I look into my mirror to recognize this rejection,  I  accept it.   I am listening to what is being said and looking at what I am being shown. I can not return to that world in the same manner I left it.  I have evolved.  I am rejecting it.

"Opportunities surround you if you know where to look" - Chinese proverb

I had prematurely and mistakently placed my yogic goal into a basket that I did not own. The lesson here is that there is more than one way to reach a destination.  You just have to know where to look.  This job will not be the vehicle which will take me where I wish to go.  I accept this rejection.  I am not revising my resume to highlight achievement over doing.  I shall instead, place it into its own basket labeled Employment.  There will be another opportunity in which the truth I tell and the truth I exhibit will align.  The learning is knowing the correct audience in which to reveal.  True alignment will always bring success.   It is important to stay on the path. I will study ayurveda yogic doctrine but it will arrive in a manner different from what I once knew.

Rain Water

You may ask what does this have to do with yoga. veganism, and transformation? Everything. The conversion to veganism is certainly filled with rejection but it doesn't matter what you apply it to.  Rejection of any thing you present, whether it be transforming lifestyle, changing diet, relationship, or employment, still feels the same. It is up to you to face it, understand it, do something about it, to seek new opportunity and to accomplish.

Use the rain collected in the vessel to
cleanse and begin life anew.

With this in mind, I have decided  to take out a few additional baskets in which to place a few other things:  one for Yoga, one for Vegan Adventures, one for Aspirations, and a special vessel to collect the rain that falls when we feel rejection.  Accept this vessel.  Use the rain water collected to refresh, rejuvenate and revive. Rain is water;  water which cleanses and is the key of life.  As you accept your rejection, learn from it.  Look in the mirror and be clear about that which you also reject, place each thing in its proper basket. Don't limit yourself, use as many baskets as you need to avoid the mistake of putting too many things in one basket or mixing inconsistent items.  Accept the rain and use the vessel to begin life anew.

Yoga -  Chant:  Guru Guru Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru

Click Here to Listen "Guru Ram Das" by Snatam Kaur

In preparation for opportunity yet to come, this Mantra, meant to initiate the healing process, is appropriate for beginning anew after accepting rejection.  The chanting of Guru Guru Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru

 is also a source of protection, spiritual light, guidance, and humility.

In gratitude, 
Namaste. 

Hunting Harmony

It's been ten days since my last post.  In the world of the Internet, I'm sure that's a lifetime.  I've been inside a self-created "circle of safety",  experimenting with recipes, cooking, posting pictures of the results, and corresponding with experienced vegans.  It feels good there.  While I've been enjoying the transition "inside", the issue plaguing me has been my life "outside" of the circle.  I made the decision long ago not to respond to "artificial deadlines" so, I chose not  to post until I could grasp exactly what has been nagging me.  Sometimes the best way to analyze a situation is to stand still.  I thought about Day 45 - the Six Week Point.   It was such a glorious day.  I spent quite some time that day chatting on-line with a new found vegan friend.  I found her to be such a wonderful, positive spirit filled with great suggestions, advice, and support. Soon after I started to snuggle in to the embrace of the vegan community,  I encountered a negative, questioning being. I was hit with judgment, as if I had done something wrong.  As if I weren't normal.

Ground chick pea (veggie tuna) sandwich & tofu salad
Vegan or Normal?

I bound my tongue until I could write without absorbing or passing this energy. I thought, "Wow! If I had been eating something that most people eat like a sandwich or a salad, this person would have ever raised an eyebrow".  Now that I'm announced vegan, all of the sudden, it's some sort of an abomination.  I wondered, "Is it possible to co-exist? Where is the understanding?  Can't we all just get along?"  Thus, for the past ten days, I have been on the hunt for harmony.

Tolerance

One thing that stuck out during my conversation was the suggestion my friend made:  to check out the website The Kind Life by vegan,  Alicia Silverstone.  I remember watching the actress promote her book, "The Kind Diet" on a talk show just last year.  I gave it little attention.  At that time, of course, I was still consuming meat on a regular basis.  Today, as I perused  the website, reviews, and personal testimony of how the elimination of meat changed her life, I thought with a different perspective with feelings I gained from other side of the imaginary line ... the line which exists between those who consume meat and those who do not.  There seemed to be a annoying tolerating attitude of omnivores towards vegans.  Having been one myself, I can attest to it.  I was guilty.  Lack of information and ignorance lead to assumption and judgment.  I thought of vegan as a just a diet choice, extreme vegetarianism, and did not realize the link to animal rights and the environment.  I politely "tolerated" vegans, never once realizing that there is emotion and feeling behind the choice, that it is a lifestyle, that vegans also tolerate meat eaters.

Where's the Beef?

I've lost count of how many times I've been asked in just six short weeks "Where do you get your protein?" Vegans get protein from the same place as meat-eaters do:  from amino acids.  The difference is the source of the acids.  Meat also has fat and hormones meant for the sustainability of the animal...not man.  I couldn't help but laugh at the irony, judgment, and contradiction the last time I faced this question.  The person could not grasp the idea of not eating meat.  As she asked me this question, she proceeded to tell me how I needed meat for protein all the while she was devouring a greasy, fast food meal of fried beef, cheese, and fried potatoes.  Even when I ate meat, I did not eat such an unhealthy concoction.  It was like garbage to me. After getting over my initial feeling of anger and resentment, I exhibited tolerance, realizing I had no beef with this woman.  I showed the compassion she failed to show me.  It was the lack of knowledge or worse, reliance of limited knowledge that causes people to say or do the things they do.  We all make decisions and judgment based on "what we think we know".  I decided to find a way to exist in the midst.

Co-Existence

Harmony:  Sandwich made by my non-vegan husband
Yellow squash, zucchini, mushroom, tomato, onion

When we are hurt, we often seek refuge with those who are able to provide comfort because they share our point of reference.  These people become our cheerleaders.  While that is good, the opportunity for growth can become limited for true challenge comes from the diversity outside of your comfort zone.  We must learn to live amongst those who are not like us. This can be global or as minute as your own home.  When I made the decision to become vegan, I informed my family who have remained omnivore. My husband has increased his vegetable intake and has contributed to some of the veggie recipe ideas.
We have however, both excluded each other for some meals as I am no longer joining him for a big hunk of meat on the grill in the same manner he is not first in line to eat some of my vegetarian inspirations.  This exclusion doesn't mean we can't live together in harmony.  Our home is still happy, we still love each other, we continue to prepare meals together, and we still sit down to eat dinner together.  We now exist in two different worlds, side by side.  It doesn't always pan out perfectly, but it is harmonious. 

No one can change the whole world in one swoop but each of us can work to affect harmony within our small piece of it.  If we all did just that, then with each of our pieces linking together, with cohesiveness, the hunt would be over.

"Become the change you seek in the world" ~ Gandhi

Yoga:  Anahata or the Heart Chakra meditation for internal harmony and emotion