All You Can Eat

After concluding the 5-day juice fast (go to: Yoga Girl goes Vegan-Breaking Fast), I found that I was not ready for consumption of cooked meals.  Feeling "light and airy", I did not want a "loaded" down experience.  I decided to pursue a raw diet.  Hungry for more information, I reached out to a few other raw vegans.  As a result, my dear raw vegan coach gave me,  "The 80-10-10 Diet", written by (raw vegan) Dr. Douglas N. Graham. ( for more go to: about Dr. Graham).   In the book, Dr. Graham discusses that our true dietary nature as the human species was not meant to consume meats or even heavy grains or grasses.  As he puts it, "our anatomy, physiology, biochemistry, and psychology all indicate that we are not carnivores" .  For that matter, he also states we are not herbivores, nor are we omnivores.  Here's some of Dr. Graham's  "food for thought":

carnivores (lions, tigers, & bears oh my!) love to tear into flesh, they love the smell and taste of raw muscles and blood.
herbivores love to forage in nature for grass, weeds, and leaves for a tasty snack.
we humans like to think (I did too!) that we are omnivores, a little bit of both meat and grass eaters.

According to Dr. Graham, we are none of the above.  He states that our bodies do not possess the proper enzymes to break down this food nor do we possess the teeth or claws needed.  We are instead (drum roll please),  FRUGIVORES!  Dr. Graham also tells us that:

"In nature, humans would be frugivores only - a creature that lives primarily on fruits, with the addition of tender greens. (This includes the nonsweet seeded fruits we generally eat with vegetables, such as tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, zucchini and other squashes, and eggplant.) Like all animals, we can indeed survive (albeit less successfully) on a wide variety of foods. Nonetheless, our bodies are designed to thrive on a diet of mainly fruit."

That works for me since the idea of chasing dinner just quite doesn't whet the appetite. But somehow, if you really think about it, doesn't the thought of juicy, sweet, ripe fruit just make your mouth water?

The Fruit Market: a  Smorgasbord fit for Fruivores everywhere!

SMORGASBORD!

Halfway through the book, I went to an "All You Can Eat" Buffet with my husband.  It was a perfect choice since there would be selections appealing to our different palates. Erroneously, I presumed that I would just have a salad. To my surprise, the Asian-inspired restaurant had an abundance of  choices for a frugivore!  In addition to the traditional veggies, there were wonderful raw choices at the "cook to order" station: raw bok choy, raw julienned ginger, raw zucchini and yellow squash slices, raw vegetarian sushi rolls.  I gorged on the fantastic, juicy, naturally sweet fruit bar:  mango, pineapple, apple slices in fresh lemon juice, honeydew, peaches, pears, berries, kiwi, and even kumquats!  I was ecstatic.  The satiation experienced was not of the food I consumed but of the confirmation that sat well in pit of my stomach knowing I was moving forward through this journey along the proper path.  Never would I have imagined going raw or of increasing my intake of fruits - yet somehow, I felt peaceful and at ease doing it. Perhaps it is because I am not "going against my grain", I am unconditionally and freely accepting my real, "natural state".

Giving it a whirl
After the revelation of my true self, I felt comfortable experimenting with a few raw dishes. As with any new learning experience, some of my trials weren't too tasty, but darn it, a few were just scrumptious.  One of my favorites was a meal I'll call "hot and spicy meets sweet and tangy":

• Raw organic oat square (cinnamon, fresh orange juice, raw organic oats)
• Spicy salsa (fresh roma tomatoes, fresh garlic, red onions, paprika, red chili peppers, dash chili powder, pepper, sea salt)
• Raw chopped kale
• Chopped lettuce
• Fresh orange slices

The lesson learned is to feel comfortable going with your natural flow and progression.  If something is just too hard, and just does not seem to work out, ask yourself, "Are you going against your grain? Perhaps, the very thing you are fighting is that which is not in alignment with your true self.  As with frugivores, your natural state will have you salivating!  You will be ready for all you can eat! When you gorge, engage, and compliment your nature, you will feel fulfilled, excited, ready to experiment, eager to give it a whirl and to learn more of that which will sustain you.  

My real, or natural state, at this time, it is to be raw.  What is it for you?

Yoga: Kapalabhati  Pranayama (cleansing breath exercise)
In yoga, the Pranayama refers to all breathing practice.  Kapalabhati specifically is deep inhalation and exhalation.  Together, they create the "cleansing breath".  When most of us begin a new task, finish a challenge, or relish in our satiation, we tend to inhale and exhale or sigh deeply and slowly.  We have just practiced Kapalabhati Pranayama without thought or intention.  When you do something without thinking about it, it is your true self, it is your natural state.

Namaste.

Breaking Fast

Day 126

I just completed the Drew McCall Burke's, 5-Day Sexy Vegan Juicy Fast©.  As you recall, I failed at my first attempt, lasting only 2 days  (go to: Yoga Girl goes Vegan-Rescuing Failure).  This time, however, I properly prepared myself. I am overwhelmed with an amazing feeling of accomplishment and achievement. The first three days went well.although the mind over matter had to kick in during the final two days - despite not feeling hungry, I felt the urge to eat solids .  Had a little set back on the last day.  I needed Bok Choy or Asian Cabbage for one of the recipes.  My local farmer's market was all out. My local grocery store had one thin bunch that was browning with prices that were 3 times the farmer's market.  I traveled out of my way to a favorite East Indian/Asian market without success. Having done so well up to this point, could I let this be considered a failure?  Absolutely not!  I had all of the ingredients except this one item.

Don't sweat the small stuff - Substitution Soup:
same purpose, just as good 

So, what did I do?  I substituted, making the most delicious "soup" ever.  What was more important was that I maintained and endured noting I never felt so "light" before.  Equally significant was the feeling of euphoria and support from the other vegan participants - I've made so many new acquaintances.  Finally, each fasting day began with one of the following:  meditation, chakra cleansing exercise, or yoga practice.  There was even an enema included.  Yes enema.  (more on that later...)

Towards the end of the fast, as I enjoyed my substitute soup,  I admit a slight melancholy fell over me as I realized it  would all be over soon.  I quickly got that negative thought out of my head.  What a success. I've cleansed and easily lost at least 7lbs perhaps more. I haven't weighed but can tell by the fit of my clothing.   My "skinny jeans" are baggy and saggy! With this in mind, I began to ponder Day 6  - the day after.

Next Steps

What would I eat for breakfast?  I wanted to break my fast with something special but I was afraid to eat anything too heavy or make myself ill.   Drew (my vegan coach & mentor)  suggested to eat non-processed, light vegetable broth and have smoothies!  After juicing, the last thing I wanted was broth but I also did not want to defeat the purpose of the fast.  Somehow the thought of eating something cooked just didn't appeal to me.  I decided eat a raw meal.  The final night of the fast, as I drank my final juice,  I prepared a raw oatmeal patty for "break/fast".  That morning, I made a raw smoothie to accompany it:

Raw Oat Patty
2 apples or 2 bananas (your choice)
2 cups raw organic oatmeal
cinnamon




Mash, whip or beat fruit & cinnamon until smooth. Add oatmeal.  Mix well incorporating all of the whipped fruit.  Roll a ball and flatten into a thick patty.  Refrigerate, allowing the patty to "sit" or "form" into shape for at least 30 min.  (this apple-based patty "sat" refrigerated overnight)       Optional:  add nuts, dates, or raisins 

Chocolate Smoothy

3 ripe bananas

2 tsp raw cocaco (or organic cocoa powder)

4 medium slices fresh coconut

6-8 ice cubes

Mix all ingredients in a blender until "smooth"

What a satisfying meal!  For one it felt "right" eating raw after consuming all raw for almost one week.  Secondly, I felt more stable eating a raw meal.  It was delicious.  The sensation was weird.  Funny how your mind changes towards your body in only a short period of time.  I ate slowly and followed up the meal with two glasses of water.  Within 20 minutes, my body reacted. It "knew" things had changed.  I felt full immediately. I could literally hear and feel the digestion going on in my intestines.  Wow!  During the fast, after the initial internal void, there was no need for such as all of the solids were gone from my system.  At this point, with this reaction to something raw, I am not ready to eat anything cooked anytime soon.

Rawism

In case you haven't noticed, I changed the banner picture.  It's a wonderful picture  found while browsing the Internet.  It captures just where I am now.  The initial picture represented the balancing the choice between consumption of meat versus veggies.  It was appropriate for its time.  I am however, not the same person I was just 4 months ago.  I have evolved. (see: Yoga Girl goes Vegan - Evolution).  I find myself increasingly attracted to eating raw.  I've met some awesome raw foodists.  Their recipes are amazing. One in particular is Jo Ann Hazelhurst.  She is a raw food coach.  Her site, http://www.healthyrawfoodlifestyle.net has great tips and recipes.   By the way, she's also known as Vegan Girl goes Yoga (our realm gets closer each day!)   This is an entirely new opportunity.  With still a lot to learn about heat-prepared vegan dishes, I'm considering what "not cooking" will do.  I'm going to take it slowly but  I'm ready increase raw food consumption.

I like this picture because it encompasses where I am today.  Kudos to the unknown artist!  This picture is green, fluid, feels "leafy; veggie", and in the center, it is anchored by OM, the sacred sound of life and the basis of harmonic yoga practice. Today, it represents raw.  I enjoyed the energy the raw food and juices gave me.  The tastes are more vibrant and flavorful.

Cleansing

The other advantage of juice fast is to cleanse.  I found a wonderful white paper written by Kelly Grimes (link: Fasting: Body Cleansing or Body Starving). Although she concludes that fasting is not for her and details the cons of fasting, she does describe the physical benefits of fasting for someone without compromised health.  She states:

"During fasting, the body is able to clean out its system because it is not expending energy towards the digestive organs. The blood and lymph are detoxified. When fasting, the release of toxins from the colon, kidneys, bladder, lungs, sinuses, and skin clears out complications that have arisen from a bad diet and unhealthy lifestyle."

Which leads to the enema  mentioned above.  Sometime between day 3 and 4 an enema was an optional recommendation suggested by Coach Drew.  With memories from childhood, I thought "Sheesh! Who wants to do that?"  She explained however, that while fasting, "you have been cleaning up your entire celluar complex but down in the colon sits old waste that needs to be cleared away. An enema encourages the release of toxic bile."  Okay.  that settled it.  I had to do it.  It made sense.  A total body cleanse was the objective.  Organic green tea or organic cider vinegar added to warm filtered water is the perfect solution.  It went surprisingly  well and did eliminate residual matter. Feeling totally cleansed inside and out, I felt re-energized !  It was the boost needed to complete the fast.

At the end of 5 days, at the beginning of month 5, at the start of the year, with a new banner picture, I am successfully  juiced, cleansed, ready for raw, and vegan.  

Namaste.

Yoga Pose:  Spinal Twist & Sage Pose

For internal cleansing, these poses help 

massage the internal organs, 

loosen built-up waste and 

encourage purging of toxins

Rescuing Failure

Haven't posted in over twenty days.  Been in the slumps, feeling a little defeated about my first attempt at a juice fasting.  I had so much anticipation and hope about a successful outcome but alas, twas not to be.  I did make it through the first two days great but by the end of the second day, my body could not handle the "shock" and purged. While overall it was a good thing as that meant toxins were leaving  rapidly, I guess I was hoping for a slow void without illness.  My mentor/coach had put together a "5-Day Sexy Vegan Juicy Fast" complete with inspiration, yoga postures, and best of all, daily recipes for scrumptious juices.  I was all gung-ho. After crashing and burning, I needed help - I needed a rescue.

The Rescuers

Day 120.  One hundred and twenty days.  A number I never imagined when I blindly set forth on this journey.  Along the way I have stumbled, slumped, bumbled, fallen, stood up, sown, flown, and soared.  Through it all I've remained steadfast in my dedication and commitment.  For some, the crash and burn leads to  the "F" word which is most associated with negativity or vulgarity.  In any instance, it is use as an expression or explicative to garner attention and it usually works.  During this experience, I have a discovered few "F" words of my own all attributed to the Rescuers.

Perhaps the most rewarding opportunity over these past three months has been the new relationships and support that have come by way of the vegan community.  Through these kind souls, each of whom I affectionately re-named the Rescuers, I have learned to appreciate my "F" words: first, friendship, fighters, frustration, fasting, failure, forging, forward, future. Each of these words have contributed to my growth, especially this last month.

F Words Group 1 - Fasting, Failure, Frustration:

Despite the fact that I did not possess a juice extractor, I was ready to participate in the juice fast. I happily shopped for the juice ingredients and was ecstatic as I chopped, diced and squeezes juices by hand.  I came up with creative ways to utilize the pulp without throwing it away and I logged on to update my progress as well as read the feedback of the other participants which were close to 30.

Juice 1: kale, celery, grapefruit, green granny smith apples
and the ingredients for Juice 2:
spinach, carrots, tomato, ginger, lemon, basil

How proud I was of my first juices. I followed all of  the instructions on the checklist:

 √   chew your juice
 √   drink slowly each glass should take 
      30 - 40 minutes to consume
  √  drink 9 glasses of water
  √  consume green tea w/ ginger & lemon
      in between drinks as needed
  √ start the day with yoga & meditation 

I was so tickled with my results! The deep rich colors and the taste of the raw juice was so intoxicating!  I actually did very well my first day and did not  experience any hunger pangs.  The cravings for food did hit about

The rich colors of hand-squeezed juice.

4am on the morning of day two.  It actually woke me up.  I could literally "feel" movement in my intestines. That was the warning sign I failed to recognize.

By the end of the second day I was feeling ill.  My body went into protection mode and it was all over! Alas, I had to depart from the fast and I sure wasn't feeling too sexy.

After informing my fellow juicers of my frustration, and failure, Yogini, Valerie Devi (see below), blogged about becoming ill during your first fast (http://wildyogini.wordpress.com/2010/12/12/wild-fast-day-four-feeling-ill/ ) .  Wow, I was normal!!!

F Words Group 2 - First, Friendship, Fighters:

After failing and fighting, an amazing thing occurred.  I was introduced to many, new, wonderful vegans.  It was a first for me.  Prior to becoming vegan, there were only known two vegans in my small, intimate circle.  It is an awestruck realization to experience the expansion of this circle.  I have met some amazing people.  I've discovered that there are varying levels of veganism which overlap from raw foodists to educators, to activists.  The interaction with these warm souls have "expanded my horizons" and have opened my eyes to many new possibilities.  While I value our new budding friendships, I appreciate the lessons of first experiences with them, and I admire their fighting spirit to educate, teach, and reach as many as they possibly can with their messages.    Allow me to introduce a few of these wonderful folks, the Rescuers to you:

Yogini Valerie Devi, http://wildyogini.wordpress.com, master yoga instructor, natural health consultant, raw vegan, yoga massage therapist, author, "Wild Yogini", a blog full of helpful information and healthy eating tips, linking mind, body, and soul, expounding upon the relationship between yoga and veganism.

Ayinde Howell,   http://www.ieatgrass.com/ , executive vegan chef , actor, musician, yoga instructor, food coach, author, "I Eat Grass",  a vegan lifestyle website and blog. Full of human interest stories, advice, helpful tips, vegan recipes, pop culture commentary.

Friendship Bracelets 

Oli Dillon Squire,   http://www.actionforourplanet.com, animal rights activist, blogger, and author, "Action for Our Planet", website dedicated to educating, informing, and documenting atrocities and activities against animal around the world.

Asante George,  http://livingourbliss.net/default.aspx , raw vegan educator, chef, artist, poet, author,  "Living Our Bliss", a book, website, and blog about raw living food and organic lifestyle.

Drew McCall Burke, http://veganreality.com/, raw vegan foodist, personal fitness trainer,  my unofficial vegan mentor, coach, cheerleader, and creator of the 5-Day Sexy Vegan Juicy Fast.  Full of energy, positive encouragement and healthy advice, her mantra is "The Power of ONE to change a few, the Power of a few to change many, and the Power of many to change Nations always begins with the Power of ONE - you."

I have had the pleasure of conversing with each of these first friends, some briefly, others at length.  The one common thread is their dedication to (what another first friend said to me), "vegan is a mindset, more than a lifestyle or diet". 

F Words Group 3  - Forward, Forging, Future

After re-enforcing and feeling rescued, I feel ready to forge forward.  I am re-energized with the prospect of my new future.  How apropos that this revelation is on the eve of the new year.  I look forward with eagerness of what is to come and excited about all that I have yet to learn. Remembering that I possess  the ability to fight and forge with  friends to move into new realms will empower me.  It will allow me the opportunity  to "pay it forward", to develop the strength to rescue someone, in my stead,  who is first faltering, frustrated and feeling failure.

If at first you don't succeed.....try again.   With memories of failure fading, I will once again,  join the next "5 Day Sexy Vegan Juicy Fast", confident of a different result.

Yoga:  Boat Pose (again) - re-enforces your core strength and is just the rescue you need when you are drowning in a sea of frustration and failure.

Acceptance

I had begun to write this post with about a quarter done when,  I accidentally deleted everything I had written. Of course, I was frustrated and exasperated.  Unfortunately, I could not retrieve it and there was nothing I could do.    The situation reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" ~Theodore Roosevelt

Thinking about it caused me to alter my subject matter.  This statement is about acceptance.   It makes you realize that sometimes, you have to just accept yourself, your standing, and your current status.  A few synonyms for acceptance are: consent, assume, consume, bear, learn, admit, be.  Acceptance forces us to peer into the mirror and honestly look at what we see to discover our truths:

Can you accept what you see?

          Truth 1: I am weak

          Truth 2: I am strong.

          Truth 3: I am old.

          Truth 4: I am young.

          Truth 5: Sometimes, in one instance, I am all of the
                       above and sometimes none.

We all possess the strength needed to pull through weak points, and each of us are old pros at some things while young novices at others.   Too often, we tend to overlook and seek false acknowledgment.  The problem is that the image we project isn't always the one in the mirror.    In order to seek truthful acceptance from others, you must first accept as-is; complete with deletions, frustrations, exasperations and start overs.  The ability to identify, acknowledge and "see" each truth clearly for what it is and what it offers is the first step to self reception.

Through any journey, acceptance will help you decipher your vulnerabilities (weakness) and teach you how to make adjustment and/or improvement accordingly (strength).   It is the catalyst to break or change your paradigms (oldness) and to venture forth with new meaning (youth).

Paradigm Shift

I thought about my relationship with a words and how some definitions have changed for me since I began this transition so I decided to have a little fun with a few:

Mael (vampire) or Meal?
Meanings change when paradigms shift

Non-Vegan to Non-Vegan        Non-Vegan to Vegan            Vegan to Vegan

          fowl:foul                             piece:peace                slight(not much):sleight (skill)*  
         burgher:burger                     meat:meet                                   affect:effect

          whale:wail                          gored:gourd                                route:root   
          yoke:yolk                           beat:beet                                    serial:cereal
          yack:yak                            lessen:lesson                               whey:way (path)
          worst:wurst                        chews:choose                     cede(give up meat):seed*
          mussel:muscle                     preys:praise                                site:sight
          locks:lox                             roe:row                                       current:currant
          awful:offal (entrails)            charred:chard                               flour:flower
          stake:steak                         paws:pause                                  knead:need 
          vein:vain                             doe:dough                                    maze:maize
          bate:bait                             pistol:pistil (seed bearer)               recede:reseed
          flea:flee                               tongue:tung (tree)                         peal:peel
          lamb:lam                    quints(multiple births):quince(fruit)         use:yews(trees)
          hart:heart         leech (blood sucker) : leach (wash away)*      pare:pear                  

* =  my favorites

Breaking Through

Having fun and not taking things so seriously helps break the images we've engraved in our heads.  How many times have we heard the saying, "What's old is new again?"  or how about "Recycle, Renew, Re-use? ".  When you recycle, you generally use the old material in a new way.  It is amazing when you look at something you have always possessed and see something new just by changing how you view it.  When things that sounded the same now have a different meaning or perspective, congratulations!  You have experienced growth and understanding.  You have shifted your paradigm. It is called a "break-through". So, in retrospect, perhaps the subject I was to write about would be better suited for another place and time.  Perhaps, the lesson here was to teach "welcoming of self"  for I,  like many, tend to be my own worst enemy - punishing myself unrealistically for something  falsely judged as "not enough".  Let go of your stubbornness, learn that acceptance doesn't mean giving up or in.  It is reception with sagaciousness, of  what is, as is, where is. The next time you delete something you've working on...start again.  You may need to learn a lesson, move in another direction, or look at something differently.

Place a lien on negativity and failure; learn to lean on the positive success of redefining old meanings. Lighten up, have a little fun and be happy with the image in the mirror.

crow pose

Yoga:  Crow Pose 
The purpose of the crow pose is to develop mental tranquility; it teaches acceptance of self.  Everyone falls when learning this pose.  It enables you to lean, to depend upon your personal core strength and your ability to balance. You have to learn to lift up one foot at a time and slowly feel how far you can go at that particular moment.  While practicing the pose,  you must literally look forward - you quickly learn that if you let your head drop or lean to quickly, you will lose balance and will fall on your face.  When trying Crow Pose, change your definition of strength and weakness, accept what you can do, as you are, where you are, and gradually work towards your goal.  

Namaste.

Giving Thanks

As the holiday approached, I eagerly anticipated this Thanksgiving for it would be a day filled with firsts.  Earlier this year, my first-born had moved out.  This would be his first Thanksgiving waking up in a home of his own, the king of his castle.  It would be our first without him.  He wanted to celebrate and decided to host dinner this year.  His first as host, our first as guests.  It would also be my first time not portraying the "Lady of the House" since his girlfriend was well suited for the role.  My husband and I expressed our feelings of pride. It was a pleasurable experience to watch the maturity and growth of our son.  Personally, of course, it was also my first vegan Thanksgiving.

Trepidation

Leading up to dinner, I had a brief moment of insecurity and fear, flooding myself with questions. I had to remind myself that I would be with immediate family: husband, adult children, and intimate friend each of whom provide truth, encouragement, support and inspiration.  This thought provided the calm needed to overcome the feeling of trepidation.  After exhaling a deep cleansing breath, I relaxed and was able to create a simple meal of staple foods I had previously prepared for myself up to this point.  

Go with Whatcha Know!

I answered each of the questions swirling in my head.  I go with "what I knew", I prepared a bean/veggie patty, accompanied with veggies and made a vegan sweet potato pie to present to the dinner guests.  I packaged my meal and took it with me.  At the dinner table, as I took my seat, I placed my platter on the table.  Since I was not the hostess, I did not sit opposite the head of the table.  I sat in a seat alongside the table, as a guest, next to my husband, across from my baby (also now an adult), at the left of first-born, and at the right of his girlfriend, a wonderful young lady.  I chuckled to myself, at how silly I was at second guessing. I had to once again,  remember to "go with what I knew"  - that with all of this genuine love at the table, how could I question non-acceptance?  

My 1st Vegan Thanksgiving Preparation
Pinto bean patties with collard greens, corn, and sweet potato

After we expressed our gratitude for this gathering of firsts, my adult home-owner son says to me, "That looks good Mommy."  In those few words, my first Vegan Thanksgiving had been summed up.  I had what many seek and sadly do not find:  gratitude.   However you define gratitude doesn't matter for the meaning is germane to each.   For me it is love, life, family, health.  What is important however, is to take the time to give thanks for the small progressions realizing that huge leaps are few and far between.  It is the little steps and tiny increments that secure our footing and lead us to the next big thing.

Remember to identify and express your gratitude.  

Give thanks for the non-tangible

                   Be grateful for non-monetary experiences

                   Be thankful for embrace, warmth 

                             Welcome each opportunity to share

                              Express gratitude for ability to give, to grow, 

                                                   Be humble and eager to learn.

Yoga:  n-a-m-a-s-t-e  

Namaste  is an expression of gratitude.   It means, " the light in me honors and bows to the light in you."  It also means to be humble.  As you quietly say "Namaste",  close your eyes, press your palms together in the middle of your at your heart and lightly bow your head and shoulders, give thanks and be grateful.  

Evolution

The Inquisition - Day 75

When I tell an omnivore that I'm vegan, I'm usually bombarded with a series of questions.  We all know by now that the number one question on the top ten list of vegan questions is  "where do you get your protein?" I'm all for inquiries and genuine questions for you never know, there may be an opportunity to learn something new on behalf of both the person answering and the person asking the questions.   I find those questions which are borderline judgmental and accusatory are those which irritate me most.  Between each cleansing breath, I feel as if I have to defend myself and vegans everywhere.  As unrealistic as that is, the feeling is still there.  I'm finding that there seems to be a group of questions that almost immediately follow the first one:

"Have you always been Vegan? "

"How long have you been Vegan?" 

or my favorite, "Don't you MISS meat?"

The answers are "no", "not long", and "heck NO!".   In an instant, I'm transformed into some sort of creature for inspection.  If I hadn't said anything, would I look, act or be any different?  In my effort to remain positive, I go into the same explanation of how I became vegan.  For me, it was not a hard decision.  It was my destiny.

History

Know where you come from: My mother's
Sweet Potato Pie
Vegan Version - "NO!" dairy

"You don't know where you're going until you understand where you've come from".

The statement is really powerful.  In just a few short words, your entire life history, present, and future are captured.  As I've said, I feel destined to be vegan.  Meat has never been at the top of my list of favorite things.  My earliest memory of rebuking meat was at the mere young age of five years old.  As I've mentioned my post last month,  "Back to Basics", my family grew up on a farm.  Well, my father and uncles were quite comfortable with hunting and preparing "fresh killed" meats.  When I was five, my uncles had gone hunting complete with blood hound dogs and guns.  They brought back their "bounty" and eagerly shared with my parents who, now living in the city, were ecstatic for memories of "home".  My uncle presented my father with a rabbit.  My father took it into the basement.  I was curious and asked to join him.  My father was happy to see my interest - maybe I was going to be a second generation country girl after all... I watched in horror as my father skinned the rabbit and how the blood slowly dripped onto the floor.  I asked him why was he doing that to the rabbit and he informed me it would be our dinner that night.  "NO!"  I told him I was not eating that rabbit.  To this day, although I've consumed other meats, I am proud to say rabbit has never crossed my plate. To add salt to the injury, later that year, someone in my family gave me a "rabbit's foot" key chain as a gift.  I remember feeling the toes, and bones under the fur and hated it.  I threw it away and lied to my mother that I had misplaced it.

At twelve, I stopped eating all animal-organs and baby animal meat after I began to question my mother about every piece of meat that was presented to me.  "What animal did this come from?  What part of the animal is this?"   I just couldn't "stomach" eating liver, veal, or lamb.  It was also the age that I started cooking.  I remember feeling nauseous when I smelled raw eggs and could not eat them if the little white connector between the yoke and the white hadn't been removed.  I remember the shock and "gross-out" experienced when I went to a delicatessen with a friend and she ordered a beef "tongue" sandwich and it was really sliced tongue! By age 19, I could not eat a piece of chicken if I had to butcher an entire carcass into legs, wings, and breast prior to cooking it. I hated the feeling of the organs squishing in my hands as I reached in to clean out a turkey.

"HECK NO!" - Whole head fish dinner

Same for fish.  The idea of an entire fish on a platter with the mouth open and eye "looking" was disgusting to me.  I was well into my thirties before I even learned how to clean a fish because I could not bring myself to cut the head off.  I could only eat meat if it had been objectified - skin removed and all hints of life as a being had been removed.  I never ate a rare steak with the blood running all over the place.  In my early twenties, I became a vegetarian.  When I was expecting my first child,    being young and uninformed, I began to eat meat again after my I obstetrician told me I needed to eat meat for "protein" and for the baby. Fast forward to my late forties, prior to officially becoming vegan, I can't  honestly remember the last time I had a sandwich made of luncheon meat (little slivers of flesh-ugh!) or a glass of milk.  I am proud to say that I've never had nor desired to eat oysters, caviar, tripe, or any raw meats (lox, sushi, etc). I've been making vegetable stuffing for years and salad has always been my best friend.  So you see, when you hear my detailed history, you understand why I was destined to be vegan.

What's Next?

The next step is to continue to evolve with decorum and civility. Let's look at the meaning:

ev·o·lu·tion  (v-lshn, v-) 
A gradual process in which something changes

 into a different and usually more complex or better form 

Hmmm...better form; more complex.  Translation: to evolve is to develop or achieve a style of one's own gradually.  I am ready to evolve.  I am ready to move forward.  Everyone realizes that we, as a species have evolved.  Although we don't always act like it, we possess intelligence, the ability to have empathy, and compassion for our fellow animal beings of this earth, and we grow plants;  why is so hard to realize that we no longer need to consume meat to continue to evolve. 

Intelligence, empathy, compassion for all beings,
sole consumption of plant-based diet....
the need to evolve still exists

I can answer questions with a simple "no, not long, and heck no" and leave it at that because most people really don't want to know my real history, my true gradual development, my authentic evolution.  Only those with an expressed interest in becoming vegetarian or vegan or care for me wish to hear the history.  Knowing you can survive the inquisition, the need to have that cleansing breath before each answer disappears for you can't punish true ignorance or the lack of information.  An an evolved being, I must show empathy and compassion in the face of accusation and judgment and become an example of intelligent complexity.

The next steps for me are to continue to learn, to grow and to forge deeper into this new wonderful experience.  Taking the time to remember where I came from and helps me to know where I'm going.

Yoga: Anusara Style.  Individually based, soft practice - to "follow your heart" with emphasis on balance, alignment and respect for personal limitations; to gradually evolve; to focus with organic energy.  

Overcoming Fears

Day 60.  Wow, It has been two months since I began this journey.  I actually do not remember the last time I ate meat other than it was fish that had lost its appeal.  Two months is a short period, a mere infinitesimal spec  in the flash of a lifetime.  Who specifically remembers any random two-month period unless it is bookmarked, representing something which will effect the remaining days, months, and years ahead? The thought of this "notch" that I've created is numbing.  In this short time, I:

• have absolutely no desire to eat meat, dairy, or any animal product
• am completely comfortable in this lifestyle
• have begun to see and fear the unattractive aspect of the vegan world

Ugly Truth?

Animal Rights?

For the most part, up to this point, this journey has been a "kum-ba-yah" experience.  I had readily fortified and prepared myself for the comments, feedback, and response from non-vegans.  It was to be expected.  The shock came from the realization that within the vegan world, there is another side - an ugly side.  I am becoming more and more exposed to it as I delve deeper into veganism and I do not like what I have begun to see.  It frightens me.

In my "new girl" naivety, I failed to realize that the vegan world is no different than any other, that there is an extreme element that lives on the outer edges, just outside of the "norm" with levels of judgment, feeling of entitlement, and accusations of what is right and wrong.  I came across a dialog in which a dedicated vegan posted a faux meat dish that had been prepared for her children.  Almost immediately, she was met with an onslaught of hate and criticism by a "fellow", extreme vegan who felt she was being hypocritical for  making "fake meat", that vegans who do so are secretly harboring desires to eat meat; that somehow, she wasn't being a true vegan.  But what about me?  What about those who are converting or who are thinking of converting?  Where is the bridge?  The accuser had a right to his opinion but the tone and the language was so  ugly.  This person spewed anger with words just short of hatred toward a fellow vegan.  Aren't we all on the same team?  Several people on both sides of the debate commented but not me.  I was too afraid to say anything.  It was disappointing yet sobering as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water on me shouting, "WAKE UP!!!!".  Are there vegan activists out there who profess their love for animals so much that they would not hesitate to show lack of love to their fellow man?  Would these same people commit an act of violence to express their viewpoint?  

I seek to receive and work to give peace.  The thought of a physical, negative encounter with a fellow vegan is really scary.  I feel immediately faced with a new challenge - how to overcome this fear?

Resilience

Wheatgrass: the drink of resilience and coping

Just before the "ugly", I met my friend Susan for lunch at a vegan restaurant.  Susan is not vegan.  I appreciated that she, as most good friends do, supported my efforts and "tried something new".  She had her first shot of wheatgrass, surprised that it tasted a little sweet. We discussed our latest endeavors and she mentioned the need for resilience.  Later, in a blog entry about our lunch, she revealed her own fears and the need to cope.  EUREKA!, there were the magic words I had been searching looking for:

• COPE - to face and deal with a difficulty in a calm or adequate manner. 
• RESILIENCE - the ability to recover; to return to original form or position after being bent or stretched;  buoyancy.

Since I'm not much on the water, I related the buoyancy to being rooted.  I love root plants.  Ginger, mushrooms, onions, garlic, radishes, potatoes, turnips, carrots, yams, and my favorite, the mighty beet.  Root plants are tough with thick skin.  They manage to grow, thrive or "cope" in all types of soil compositions while maintaining  strong, full, earthy flavor, and hearty texture, even after cooking.  Root plants are resilient. Since they grow underground, they absorb minerals and nutrients from the soil and provide a plethora of health benefits as they contain vitamin C, beta-carotene, antioxidants, fiber, and potassium just to name a few.

Stay rooted:  Beet greens, beets, and turnips

Staying Rooted

As I processed each of these experiences - the high of lunching with Susan and the low of the ugliness, I realized that there was one point of relevance between the two:  Me! I was the connecting piece between the two.   While I had reached out in one instance and recoiled in another, I had remained in the same place.  I was rooted and didn't realize it.  Although the unfortunate incident had frightened me, I had remained steadfast in my commitment and desire to be vegan.  I feel empowered to grow my roots, to introduce my non-vegan friends to something new (who knows, perhaps a few of them will join me).  I feel that I can grow my roots even stronger and as this strength increases, perhaps one day I will be able to confront the extreme beings on the fringe.  Perhaps one day, I can show them that you can gain more with a positive, loving approach than a negative one  that we are all on the same team. That each of us may arrive at a destination along a different path or vehicle but that the point is:  we all arrived and are in the same place together.  It is a choice.  In my lifetime flash, I will remember these past two months.  I will remember how I chose to grow my roots with positivity, togetherness and compassion.

I will also remember the exact moment in the future to yet come when those roots strengthened and enabled me to cope with resiliency to overcome my fears.

~Namaste.

Yoga:  Boat pose for buoyancy,  Mountain pose for root connection to the Earth.