|Who is rejecting whom?|
Much to my surprise and utter shock, after receiving what I thought was good feedback, I did not get the position. A position that was elementary to me. I was devastated. Questions flooded my head. Why? Too old? Too confident, Too intimidating? Not enough (fill in the blank)????
|Remember - everything doesn't have to go into one basket|
We always have several at our disposal.
Why had something that seemed to be going so well suddenly crashed and burned? Perhaps the interviewers were mirroring that which they saw before them: rejection. Perhaps the image I thought I was projecting was not what I was actually presenting. Perhaps as I presented my truth to them, I wasn't listening or looking at myself.
"Ain't funny that the way you feel shows on your face?
And no matter how you try to hide, it'll state your case" © Earth Wind and Fire
Perhaps the panel could "see" the personal, internal rejection I was battling , trying to mask the decision to return to the very world I vowed to leave. I was reluctantly and readily sacrificing a little bit of freedom in lieu of the big picture. I had dressed for the part wearing clothing and shoes I hadn't worn in years - clothing which no longer fit both physically and mentally. Perhaps my body had rejected the business attire the same way my mind was rejecting the back and forth game of the interview process of trying to give the "right" answer in the right manner, the same way my soul was rejecting the idea of fitting back into the box I so loved to think outside of. Perhaps the struggle and rejection was so evident that the panel had no other choice but to reject me in lieu of another candidate who deserved to be there.
Not quite ready to accept this truth, I submitted my resume to a "professional reviewer" for a critique. The main point he claimed was wrong with my resume was that it screams that I am a "doer" not an "achiever". Hmmm, this puzzled me. Yes, I am a doer. I get things done, I've made things happen which has lead to a previously successfully career. I've achieved and accomplished quite a few awards, commendations, and recognition. For a fee, the reviewer could elaborate this for me. NOT! I looked up the free definition for myself:
do: to perform, execute or produce; to achieve
achieve: to perform or carry out with success, accomplishThe slight semantics here could have been what lead to my rejection. Achievement comes natural to me which is why I don't think about "doing". To me, it is one and the same. I now realize that to others, there is a big difference. I don't think I want to expend that much energy into worrying about it. It is no longer who I am. So, as I look into my mirror to recognize this rejection, I accept it. I am listening to what is being said and looking at what I am being shown. I can not return to that world in the same manner I left it. I have evolved. I am rejecting it.
"Opportunities surround you if you know where to look" - Chinese proverb
I had prematurely and mistakently placed my yogic goal into a basket that I did not own. The lesson here is that there is more than one way to reach a destination. You just have to know where to look. This job will not be the vehicle which will take me where I wish to go. I accept this rejection. I am not revising my resume to highlight achievement over doing. I shall instead, place it into its own basket labeled Employment. There will be another opportunity in which the truth I tell and the truth I exhibit will align. The learning is knowing the correct audience in which to reveal. True alignment will always bring success. It is important to stay on the path. I will study ayurveda yogic doctrine but it will arrive in a manner different from what I once knew.
You may ask what does this have to do with yoga. veganism, and transformation? Everything. The conversion to veganism is certainly filled with rejection but it doesn't matter what you apply it to. Rejection of any thing you present, whether it be transforming lifestyle, changing diet, relationship, or employment, still feels the same. It is up to you to face it, understand it, do something about it, to seek new opportunity and to accomplish.
|Use the rain collected in the vessel to|
cleanse and begin life anew.
Yoga - Chant: Guru Guru Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru
In preparation for opportunity yet to come, this Mantra, meant to initiate the healing process, is appropriate for beginning anew after accepting rejection. The chanting of Guru Guru Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru
is also a source of protection, spiritual light, guidance, and humility.